Chapter 68

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He wasn't sure exactly how he got there, and at the moment, he really didn't care, but somehow Zeke found his way back to the Galloping Centipede and was standing outside of the door to Sarah's room, which he began knocking on loudly. He might have accidentally knocked on a few other doors first, but he couldn't remember for sure. Nonetheless, he was definitely at the right door now as an obviously half-asleep Sarah answered.

"What in the world is going on?" she murmured as she rubbed her eyes. "Zeke? Did something happen? Where are your clothes?"

"I'm here to deliver some fantastic news to you," Zeke said. He almost lost his balance and fell over, but he grabbed on to the doorway and somehow stayed upright. "It turns out that I'm in love with you. Isn't that great?"

"Zeke, what are you talking about?" Sarah yawned.

"I'm talking about how I love you," Zeke said. "It's always been you, Sarah. I don't know why I didn't tell you before, but it doesn't matter because I'm telling you now."

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" Sarah asked.

"Damn it, this doesn't have anything to do with how much I've drank," Zeke said. "Speaking of which, I am feeling a little parched." He pulled out Max's flask and took another sip off of it. "What the hell are you asking me that for anyway? I'm here declaring my love for you and you want to know how much I've had to drink? Get your priorities straight, woman."

"Zeke, I'm really tired right now. I was in the middle of a really nice dream and you woke me up for this nonsense. I'm glad you had a good time tonight, but you need to go pass out somewhere."

"How can you call this nonsense?" Zeke said. "I'm offering up my heart and soul to you and you're just going to dismiss it as nonsense? Maybe you're not understanding what I'm saying here. I love you. Love. The big L-word."

"Where's everyone else anyway? Is Maurice with you?"

"No, Maurice isn't with me," Zeke said. "What are you asking me about him for? I'm telling you I love you."

"I'm asking you because he's my boyfriend and the last time I saw him he was going off to party with you. You've obviously partied a lot. Is Maurice okay? Do I need to go looking for him?"

"How the hell should I know if he's okay?" Zeke asked. "Quite frankly, I'm finding it rather insulting that you're not acknowledging my burning love for you. Did I mention it's a burning love?"

"Where's Max? If he let something happen to Maurice I'm going to kill him."

"I don't know where Max is," Zeke said. "They were all still at the strip club last time I saw them. They're probably still there. But I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about us."

"Us?" Sarah said. "What us? There is no us. There's never going to be any us, Zeke. I'm with Maurice and I'm very happy."

"Not as happy as you'd be if you were with me, like you're supposed to be," Zeke said.

"You've got some nerve, you know that?" Sarah said. "You disappear to God knows where for months at a time without even saying goodbye and then you show up out of the blue in Quartzwater City of all places telling me you love me? While you're half naked no less? And where in the world did you get those pink socks from?"

"First of all it's kind of hard to say goodbye when you're abducted against your will by aliens. The aliens gave me the socks, by the way. I'm not really sure where the rest of my clothes are at the moment, but is that really important in the face of love?"

"I don't love you," Sarah said. "You're very drunk right now and you're making a fool out of yourself and you need to leave."

"You don't really mean that," Zeke said.

"Yes, I do. Go away, Zeke."

"Fine," Zeke said. "I don't love you anyway. Sadie's the one I really love. It's always been Sadie. I'm going to go tell her right now."

He stumbled his way down the hall and somehow made his way down to the lobby and out the front entrance. He walked several blocks down the street before coming to a halt. By this point he couldn't remember where he was going and he wasn't feeling super great. It suddenly felt very imperative that he should lay down, so he collapsed into a gutter and passed out.


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