Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 57

"Come on guys," Zeke said. "You're not really going to kill me. That would be barbaric. Plus, you'd have to deal with my rotting stinking corpse. You don't really want to be confined in close quarters with a dead body, do you?"

"Sorry guys, I can't hold it anymore," WBDG said as he squatted in a corner.

"Oh God, what did you eat?" Sadie said. "Rotten fish eggs?"

"At least the dead body smell will cover up the bodily function smell," Captain Torean said. "We're all going to have to answer nature's call eventually. Your body will make an excellent toilet."

"I'm sure he's going to let us out of here soon," Zeke said. "Just tell him how much you hate magic, I'm sure he'll want to be best friends then."

"Even if that's the case, I'm going to kill you on general principles," Trey said. "Because I don't like you."

"Since when is not liking somebody a good excuse for killing people?" Zeke said. "If that were the case I'd have gone on a major killing rampage a long time ago. Only like two of my classmates from seventh grade would have survived."

"You're also a sexual predator who takes advantage of young girls at their most vulnerable," Trey said.

"Are you talking about when I kissed Sadie when we went through the black hole?" Zeke said. "That was an extreme situation. I thought I was about to die. It's not like I go around doing that sort of thing under normal circumstances. I have no regrets."

"You're about to die now," Trey said. "Don't even think about trying that pathetic little move again."

"Hey, the lady can speak for herself," Zeke said. "Come on, Sadie. That kiss we shared was pretty epic, wasn't it?"

"I do have to admit I've never been kissed like that," Sadie said. "It actually was pretty amazing."

"Think about how much more amazing it would have been if you had shared that moment with me," Trey said.

"Yeah, well she didn't," Zeke said. "You lost out, buddy. Sucks to be you."

Trey's ears turned a bright red color. "I'm going to kill you very slowly with my bare hands and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it."

"You really want to be with a murderer, Sadie?" Zeke said. "Because that's clearly what this guy is. He obviously has no compunctions about killing. He's most likely done it before. He's probably a serial killer. I bet he molests his victims' bodies after he kills them."

"I've done no such thing," Trey said.

"He's right," Sadie said. "I don't think I can be with a murderer."

"Very well," Trey said. "I won't kill him. I'll just beat him within an inch of his life and make him wish he was dead. That healer undid the previous beating I gave him, but that's okay. It just presents me with a fresh canvas upon which to hammer away."

"Max says hang on tight," Milosh said.

"What did you just say?" Zeke asked.

"Enough of this," Trey said as he wrapped a hand around Zeke's throat and lifted him off the ground. "This is going to be the most fun I've had in ages." He began squeezing Zeke's neck as a big smile spread across his face. Zeke's face started to turn a deep purple color.

Suddenly a bright light filled the room and a doorway materialized. It opened up and a toad in a Hawaiian shirt stepped out.

"Max?" Zeke wheezed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Milosh gave me your exact coordinates and I borrowed one of the Doc's programmable doors," Max said. "Hey, Goldilocks! Why don't you take your big greasy mitts off of my friend here and shove them up your ass?"

"Oh yeah?" Trey asked as he let go of Zeke and turned to face Max. "What are you going to do about it, you scrawny little frog?"

"This," Max said as he kicked Trey in the nuts as hard as he could. "And just so you don't keep walking around being an ignorant buffoon, I'm a toad. Not a frog. Come on, Zeke. Let's blow this joint."

"Wait, I can't just leave these guys here," Zeke said.

"Why not?" Max asked. "They were just trying to kill you."

"Yeah, but we were in a tense situation and emotions were running hot," Zeke said. "Most of these guys are all right."

"Fine, they can come through the door with us," Max said.

"What about the Starswan?" Captain Torean asked. "I can't leave my ship here."

"I will not abandon the ship either," Zannah said.

"Nor I," Wayne said.

Shazmar pinged in agreement.

"I'm not leaving without Trey," Sadie said. "And Bumble-Boo's not leaving without me."

Bumble-Boo chirped and held onto Sadie's leg.

"All right, you heard them, Zeke," Max said. "They all want to stay here. Let's leave them."

"Come on, Max," Zeke said. "Isn't there some way we can take their ship with us?"

"It's not going to fit through this door," Max said. "But hang on. I'll be right back." He went through the door and it vanished into thin air behind him.

"Hey that's the guy that stole your beer, Zeke," WBDG said.

"He's also the guy that took Milosh," Sadie said.

"Is with him right now," Milosh said. "Is coming right back."

The room filled once again with bright light and the door reappeared. Max stepped back out of it holding another door. "Okay, here's the deal. Milosh knows the coordinates where the ship is so I'm reprogramming the first door to take us there. This second door is a programmable shape-changing door. It can stretch big enough to fit a freight liner, so your spaceship should be no problem. It's programmed to return to a big empty field in Quartzwater City. So what do you say? You guys ready to blow this taco stand or what?"

"That psycho's definitely going to think these are magic if he catches us," Zannah said.

"So here's the deal," Max said. "We're not going to get caught. But if we do, get ready to kick some ass."