Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 73

Maurice ducked behind a light pole trying to avoid being seen by a particularly nasty looking demon. His pockets had been picked completely clean by roving gangs of Chihuahuas, but he still held tightly to the box of squid pizza. It felt like it was pretty warm, but if he didn't make it back to the lab soon, it was going to be ice cold, and he had a feeling Lothar wouldn't be happy about that.

The streets of Quartzwater City had turned into complete anarchy as demons, devils, and Chihuahuas terrorized the populace. Multiple windows in buildings had been smashed open, small fires blazed all over the place, and he'd even seen a Roto-Bus overturned on its side. Still, the squid pizza place had proudly displayed its "We Never Close" sign even as a small imp had flung a lawn chair through the glass window by the entrance. The girl behind the counter had been surprisingly cheerful. She had even given him the "City is Being Destroyed Discount."

Maurice held his breath as he peeked around the light pole. The demon hadn't seemed to notice him and was starting to make its way down the street in the other direction. Maurice let out his breath and glanced to the right to see if the coast was clear. His eyes fell upon a sign on the wall that read "Do Not Read This Sign Under Penalty of Law." A loud siren started to blare and a bright flashing red light turned on. The demon whirled around and charged straight at him.  He closed his eyes and resigned himself to whatever was about to befall him.

A large saber toothed tiger came charging down the street at full speed and tackled the demon. He pounded its head into the ground a few times until it was out cold. "You okay?" he asked while panting slightly.

"Yeah," Maurice said. "Thanks, mister."

"You shouldn't be on the streets right now," the saber toothed tiger said. "Go home and lock your doors. We should have this situation under control before too long. Now, if you'll excuse me, there are more demon heads I need to bust." He leaped up and bounded off down the street.

Maurice finally made it back to the lab, but he could tell something wasn't right as soon as he opened the door. The stools had all been knocked over and Lothar and Milosh were nowhere to be seen.

"Hello?" he called out as he took a few steps into the lab.

He heard the door slam shut behind him and turned around to see a tall figure in a black robe holding an unconscious Lothar by the throat. The figure flung Lothar aside and took a menacing step towards Maurice. It lowered its hood to reveal a white demonic face with large horns sprouting from it.

"Pathetic mortal creature," a deep voice said that seemed to originate from inside Maurice's head. "You have the audacity to steal our doors? Did you think we would not be able to track them down?"

"I thought no such thing, Mr. Warlord, sir," Maurice said. "Uh, you are the Warlord, right?"

"I have gone by many names throughout the eons in which I have existed. It pleased me recently to be called the Warlord. You may think of me as such as I squeeze the last drop of life fluid from your trembling body."

"I'd really prefer it if you didn't do that," Maurice said. "Now would be a really great time for another saber toothed tiger to jump out of the woodwork and save me." He looked around. "Anyone? A little help here?"

The Warlord took another step towards him. In response, Maurice flung the box of squid pizza at it. It bounced harmlessly off the demon's face.

"I'm just going to put this work table between you and me, if you don't mind," Maurice said as he ran to the other side of the room. He spotted a door sitting on the edge of the table and inched his way towards it.

The Warlord leaped into the air and landed on top of the table with a thunderous noise. "Go ahead. Flee to another universe. Run as far as you want. I will find you and drag you back by your spinal chord."

"You don't seem so scary to me," Maurice said as he turned his head from side to side desperately. "I heard you were just a henchman to Zyvax the Intergalactic Destroyer of Worlds. I heard you were just his whipping boy."

"I am much more than a mere henchman," the deep voice rumbled inside Maurice's head. "I am his deadly right hand. I have led many excursions in his unholy name and I speak with the authority of his accursed tongue."

"Okay, maybe I'm a little afraid of you," Maurice said as he continued to search around the room. He spotted a flame thrower sitting in a pile of junk.  He darted for it and managed to pick it up and whirl around.  "Hiya!" he shouted as he let her rip.  Unfortunately it sputtered a few times and then died completely.  It seemed to be out of fuel.

He tossed it aside and began searching furiously around the room again.  His eyes landed on Dr. Octavius's shrinking ray. He took off running for it as he heard the Warlord leap down from the table behind him and land on the floor, which shook violently beneath his weight. He could hear footsteps coming ever closer behind him, but at last he reached the ray and pointed it at the Warlord. He flipped the button to the on position and in a flash of light the demon shrank until it was only a few inches tall.

"Hey, what the heck is going on here?" a now much higher-pitched voice sounded in Maurice's head.

"It's been nice knowing you, Mister Warlord, sir," Maurice said as he raised his foot up in the air.

"You can't do this!" the Warlord shouted. "Do you know how many worlds I've helped to destroy? Can you fathom the countless number of civilizations I've brought to an end? Do you have any idea-"

Maurice stomped on the Warlord and there was a satisfying popping noise as he squished the demon under his shoe. He inspected the bottom of his foot. All that remained was a whitish smear. "Hmm, I'm going to have to wipe that off before I track it all over the lab. Don't want to create more work for myself mopping it up later." Maurice searched a nearby shelf and found a cloth sitting beneath a roll of duct tape. He set the tape aside, grabbed the cloth, and began cleaning his shoe while he whistled to himself.