Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 46

Max emerged from the door and was immediately hugged once again by Milosh. "Is always good to see friend."

"Yeah, yeah, you too," Max said. "Hey Sarah? You want to get in on this hug too?"

"I'm good," Sarah said. "So what happened this time?"

"Well, as I've always told you, I'm a pretty big deal. It turns out there's this other universe that's occupied by some schmuck who chronicles my every brilliant move."

"Really?" Sarah asked. "Somebody's writing about us?"

"Well, I don't know about you," Max said. "The only one I saw on the screen was me. Obviously I'm the central character. Maybe you're in there as some sort of minor background detail. You know, sleeping with the star protagonist would be a great way to raise your profile."

"If that is what you think is best, Milosh will do it," Milosh said with a shrug.

"Not you," Max said. "You're more the annoying sidekick type, I think."

"Sidekick? Milosh has never been a sidekick before. Is very exciting news."

"Hold your horses there, big guy," Max said. "I don't let just any yahoo be my sidekick. This is a great honor, after all. You'll have to prove yourself worthy of the title."

"How does Milosh do that?" Milosh asked.

"Well, I'll tell you a good way to start would be buying me a round of drinks at the bar."

"Milosh thinks he can handle that. Is good."

"Son, I do believe you've got some mighty fine sidekick potential," Max said. "I like your 'can do' attitude. So what do you say we go get sloshed?"

"Is getting sloshed right now in eight different bars on Ingleblott. Also while playing beer pong on the Starswan. Is good."

"I don't know what that means, but I like the sound of it. You want to come get a drink, Sarah?"

"I guess there's no harm in getting a drink," Sarah said.

"I'm liking where this is going," Max said. "What do you say we get plastered, ditch the weirdo here, and go find a sleazy motel room? You'd be paying for the room, of course."

"I said a drink," Sarah said. "As in one. I don't think one drink's going to get me into any sleazy motel rooms."

"You're clearly not drinking the right drinks then," Max said. "Why don't you let me order for you?"

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Sarah said.

They were walking out of the warehouse when they ran into Dr. Octavius who was on his way in. "Where are you kids off to?"

"Is going to get sloshed," Milosh said.

"Yeah, we're hitting the bar, Doc," Max said. "Want to join us?"

"No thank you," Dr. Octavius said. "I just came back here to fetch the door you were using. Lothar and I have made some very interesting discoveries, but we'd like to study every door we can get our hands on. Speaking of which, did you discover anything interesting?"

"Yeah, that door takes you to different universes every time, from what I can tell. Did you know there's a universe where some guy's writing about me? Do you think there's some universe where people are reading about me, too? Like about this conversation we're having right now?"

"I certainly suppose it's possible," Dr. Octavius said.

Max looked up into the sky. "Hey you! Yeah, I'm talking to you. The person that's reading this right now. Thanks for following my ongoing fascinating adventures. I mean, I don't blame you. I'd read about me, too, if I wasn't me. Anyway, I think you should tell everyone you know to buy lots of copies of my book so we can spread the word far and wide about the great Maximillian J. Toad. And hopefully I'll make lots of money or something. Oh yeah, between you and me, you might also want to pop a breath mint. I'm getting the occasional whiff of your breath down here and it could probably use a little freshening."

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Sarah asked.

"The people who are reading this story, obviously," Max said.

"I don't think they can hear you, and if they even exist I doubt they're up in the sky," Sarah said. "They're in some other universe completely."

"First of all they don't need to 'hear' me. They're reading this conversation right now. And secondly, a lot of the times when I'm reading I look down at whatever I'm reading, so it stands to reason if I look straight up I'll be looking right at them."

"What about the people who like to hold their books or whatever other reading devices right in front of their faces?"

"Those freaks?" Max asked. "Fine, I'll look straight ahead while I talk at them. So, you forward facing readers. I'm talking to you here now. What I just said to the people reading from above goes doubly for you. Also, get a damn haircut."

"Is not understanding this conversation at all," Milosh said.

"Don't worry, Milosh," Sarah said. "It's a stupid conversation anyway."

"What's so stupid about it?" Max asked.

"You're talking to people who aren't even here," Sarah said.

"They're here!" Max said. "Just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they aren't here."

"Also, I don't think I even believe you. Why would there be a universe where someone is writing about you?"

"Why wouldn't there be a universe where someone is writing about me?" Max asked. "That's a better question."

"You know," Dr. Octavius said with a thoughtful look in his eyes. "There is a theory that if there are an infinite number of universes out there, then any universe you could possibly imagine actually exists somewhere."

"See, Sarah? The Doc says I'm right." Max said as he puffed out his chest.

"So you're saying I could sit down and write something right now, and somewhere out there in the infinite multitude of universes it would actually be happening?" Sarah asked.

"So the theory goes," Dr. Octavius said. "For that matter all the fairy tales I read you when you were young could be accounts of real events that occurred somewhere. Our imaginations may indeed be nothing more than windows to other universes. Dreams could be glimpses of other existing universes as well. And now we've found doorways that can actually take us there. Isn't that exciting?"

"Let me get this straight, Doc," Max said. "You're telling me that anything I can possibly imagine - anything at all - there's a universe somewhere where it actually exists?"

"In theory, yes," Dr. Octavius said. "There are probably quite a few universes beyond our imagining as well."

"This is some very fascinating stuff," Max said. "I'm going to have to chew on this for a bit. In the meantime, I'm imagining an empty barstool right now and a bartender who is extra generous with his pours. Maybe there's a hot cocktail waitress with a skimpy outfit as well. Let's go see if this actually exists here in our universe."

"Is also hoping they have nachos," Milosh said. "Is getting hungry."