chapter 1

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It all started what seemd like the worst day of my entire life. I had a nightmare of being killed by this guy I don't even know in what I would say the worst death in the world...

After that I got up and went to school were we got a suprise pop quiz in the first period. Next I had P.E what a great way to go on whit this crapy day thst i just wish would end alredy but no the world just had a better plan for me to be the worst day ever. My mother called me and said my granma died...

It just frlt like my heart broke into million pieces, I forgot how tp breath for a few seconds. Why? Why me? I knew it would happen but not now I need her she is the only person who understands me and knows who the real me is. My best vriend Anja came to me and tried to omfort me but she knows how I feel because she is almost part of our family my grandmother was just like her grandmother. She led me to the guidens counsler to speek about how I feel now but I couldn't get one word out my mind is blank all I saw was the last everlasting picture of me and my grandmother just hanging out..

Never seeing her again will change me forever, she was the only piese of the puzzel I understood. Her last words to me was "Be the best person you can be my dear and remember I will always be with you even if I am not" I didnt understan that till now she knew but why didn't she tell me, is the tast question running arpund my mind...

Then I heard the guidens counsler say Patricia how do you feel, can you explain your emotions and it will make you feel better if you yalk about it I prommis. I only looked at him and couldn't even get one word out threw the tears running down my face. After a while he stood up and said "Well I am going to get us some coffie just so you can relax and the sugar will calm you right down." I only nodded and looked right down again with the whole box of tissues on my lap and the dustpan next to my chair.

He came back after a while with two big cups of coffie in his hand and said to me "I threw some extra sugar in just to calm your nervs a bit and make you feel better." He started to talk to me about loss of a family member but I just zoned out without even caring what he said. I finished the big cup of coffie and felt just a little bit better.

I got up and said that I was going home to be alone for a while, but he said that is not a good idea and called Anja to his offic so she could go with me to my house, to be by my side till my mother is home again...

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