Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters. -John Green.
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"You look like shit." Aj says sitting on my bed. I get up rolling my eyes at her. "Gee, thanks." I tell her patting my hair trying to tame it down. "What's up with you? Lately you've been all weird." She says staring at me through her glasses.
"I'm just-" before I can finish she cuts me off. "Don't you dare to say you're just tired. I've used that excuse plenty of times."
"There's nothing wrong with me." I say looking at the wall behind her. I hope my eyes aren't puffy from crying last night. I'm not a person that cries a lot. In fact, I never cry unless I'm really hurt.
I still don't understand why Roman is such a big deal though. He's just a little crush so why does it bother me so much? Why does Emma have to like him too? Why is life so hard?
"Paige. You can tell me anything. I know we haven't been friends for a long time but, you can trust me." She smiles sympathetically and I smile back. "I know. I just- I wish I could tell somebody but I can't." My voice cracks at the end and I cover my blushing face so I can stop myself from crying.
"But why?" She whispers even though we are the only ones in the room, Nikki left to work out a while ago. "Because it's so hard. I have to make a really hard decision between two people, and whatever decision I make is going to affect them both. Either way one of them is going to get hurt and I hate myself for that. It makes me feel like a monster." I uncover my face and look at her.
"I've been there before." She says, "Really?" I ask. "Yeah. Like nobody use to like me, you know? I mean some people obviously still don't like me but the point is, the only person I had was Phillip. Then I fell deeply in love with Dean. I had to make a decision, I didn't want to hurt Phillip or Dean. But sometimes you just have to follow your heart, sometimes it's necessary to hurt somebody. You can't always expect to make everyone happy."
She puts her arm around me and I lay my head on her shoulder. I don't say anything I just lay there closing my eyes.
*~*~*
"How do you feel about Wrestlemania, Paige?" Renne Young asks me as the camera focuses on me. We are doing a small segment. "I feel great you know? I might not be going for the divas title yet, but I'm will eventually. I'm honored to be included in Wrestlemania. It's the biggest event of the year, it's really great and I am beyond excited. I definitely cannot wait."
"Cut." The producer says as they stop filming. "You're up next, Nikki. Thanks, Paige." Renne says with a smile, "No problem blondie." I say.
Wrestlemania is next week. It's the biggest event of the year. It's such an honor to be included in this event. The bad thing is of course is that I won't be going for the Divas title. I'm going to be in a Divas match, along with all the divas except Aj and Nikki who are going against each other for the divas title.
The match I'm in will determine the next contester for the divas championship. Whoever wins will go in a triple threat match on the next pay-per-view, for the Divas Championship with Aj and Nikki.
I walk to a mirror and look at myself. My makeup is done, my hair is styled, my clothes are perfect yet I still feel ugly.
Ugly inside, ugly outside. I feel so bad, so guilty, so- I can't even describe it. It's just a sucky feeling. I'm so glad Emma isn't here today. She had to do an NXT match. I just can't stand seeing her because it reminds me how much of a shitty friend I am.
I stop glancing at the mirror and turn around. Im walking down the hall when I see Roman and Dean walking my way. They're talking and Dean is laughing hysterically. My eyes are focused on Roman though, I want him to turn around, I want to see him looking at me. I want to know if he's okay . . .
He looks at me and his expression changes. We keep eye contact as we walk by each other. He doesn't take his eyes off me and I can see the hurt in his eyes. I can feel it. Because I'm feeling it too.
"Hey little ghost." I hear Dean says but I keep walking because if I don't I will probably end up regretting it.
I walk into the locker room and get changed. I don't have a live show tonight. I will just wait for my friends to come out so we can leave. They want to party tonight but I'm not in the mood.
When you feel like shit you're not in the mood for anything.
I grab my bag and head out the locker room. I walk by the segment section and I see Roman standing there. Renne is asking him questions. He stops talking in the middle and stares at me.
"And I- gosh, I'm sorry, sorry." He apologizes. "Cut!" The man says. "We're going to have to record that again, focus Roman." He tells him. I look at the floor.
His lips are pressed together. No smile. No grin. No nothing. That makes me sad. He's always happy and I'm the cause of his sadness.
"Yeah, I'm sorry." He apologizes again. I walk away to sit on a bench. I can't help but to glance at him while he's recording. I'm far away, I can barely see him but I still look even though I shouldn't.
"Hey, lovely lady. Guess what? ;)" my phone buzzes as Kevin's name pops up on my screen. "What?" I text text back. In a matter of seconds he replies, "Guess who just got himself Wrestlemania tickets?" He sends a picture of his band and him holding tickets.
I glance up and see that Roman is gone. "Can't wait to see you again. It's been a while." He sends another text. I re-read it, he can't wait to see me again?
"Me too."
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-Sorry for the late updates and any grammar or misspells. I will go back and fix them later on. Thanks for reading xoxo ;*
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Loving Him Is Red* WWE Fanfic
Fanfiction"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." He reads off the notebook. "What a stupid lamb." I whisper knowing the quote by memory. "What a sick masochist lion." He sighs looking in my eyes.
