Toxic | Steve Rogers

Chapter Ten: Rock Bottom

Steve didn't know if he could forgive her. Where had she even learned about Peggy? Why the hell would she do that to him? He remembered when she went through his memories, when he first met her. She had gone to his memory of Peggy.

With each punch to the bag hanging from the wall, another thought would rush through his mind. So far, no one had come after him, and it had been hours. Sweat was pouring down his body, and his movements were beginning to falter.

Steve didn't want to ever stop.

Just when he had been starting to trust Adora, she went and messed it up. What was wrong with her? Why hurt him like this? Wasn't she trying to help him cope with his problems? Question after question ran through his mind with each passing moment.

It was times like these that Steve missed Bucky Barnes.

If Bucky were here, he would slap simon the back and tell him that it wasn't the end of the world. At his thought of Bucky, an image appeared in front of his eyes. All of a sudden, he was transported back in time.

He was standing on a porch, and the wood was worn and brown. Bucky was beside him, his hair slicked back, and he was dressed nicely.

"My folks wanted to give you a ride after the cemetery"

"I know, I'm sorry, it's, I kinda wanted to be alone" Steve replied.

"How was it?" Bucky asked, the sound of his shoes on the steps making no sound.

"It's okay" Steve said, "She's next to Dad" They had reached the top of the stairs now, with Steve's hands in his pockets.

"I was gonna ask, —" Steve cut him off. "I know what you were gonna say Buck, I just —"

"You can put the couch cushions on the floor like we used to when we were kids, it'll be fun, all you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash" Buck said, moving over the cinder block by his shoe to reveal a key.

"C'mon" he said, holding out the key to Steve, Steve took it, looking done at his reflection in the shine. "Thank you, Buck, but I can do fine on my own" Bucky looks away. "The thing is, you don't have to," he told Steve, clasping his shoulder affectionately, "I'm with you 'till the end of the line, pal"

When the memory disappeared, Steve couldn't stand. His whole body was shaking.He leaned against the nearby wall, slumping down with his back against the cold surface of the wall. He was shaking, and his knuckles had turned white from gripping himself so hard.

"Steve" a voice whispered, and he could feel breath in his ear. He looked beside him, and there was Wanda. He looked away, not knowing how to deal with her finding him like this.

Broken and vulnerable.

"Wanda I—" he started, but she cut him off.

"It 's okay. I don't need to know" she said to him, her words somehow soothing him.

"But" she said, her accent getting the best of her, "I do know that what you saw wasn't what actually happened" Steve looked up at her, incredulous. How could it not be?

"See for yourself" she said, as if she could hear his thoughts. He knew she couldn't.

Wanda got up, and dusted herself off. "Goodbye Steve" she said, giving his one last reassuring look before she was out of his sight.

Steve ran his fingers through his hair, getting up himself. He started putting the punching bags away, or at least what was left of them. His shirt was soaked, and for the first time ever, he was sore.

He didn't like the feeling, but he'd also never been punching at bag after bag for hours. Steve's stomach growled, louder than the thoughts in his head. He realized he hadn't truly eaten since the day before. His feet took him out of the training room, but he could barely feel his feet.

They were cold.

His whole body was old, colder then he'd ever been before, and suddenly, he could feel even colder water lapping at his ankles, and traveling up his legs. Water was everywhere, and it was cold. It surrounded him, and choked him, and he fell back. The surrounded him further, and he was shaking violently from the cold. Every fiber in his being told him to call for help, but he couldn't, he could barely speak. Just as the water went pouring down his throat choking the very last bits of air out of him, it stopped.

The cold had gone away.

Steve couldn't wrap his mind around what was going on, or how to stop it. But, one thing was clear about what was going on.

He couldn't escape it.