The Resident // Harry Styles H.S.

4

HARRY'S POV:

"...severely malnourished.....little use of words......no personal hygene whatsoever for a prolonged period of time.....menses leaking down her legs.....torn, tattered clothes sizes too small.......hair in partial dreadlocks.......very scared of humans......cowers at attempted human physical contact.....residence was in house located on property where found.......two bodies inside of nearby house in state of advanced decay.....one male, one female...........identified as the adoptive parents of subject......probable murder suicide.........liquor bottles in every room.......child's dirty clothes.....placed in foster care.........would not allow human contact......................very well behaved......IQ tested at above normal intelligence........hymen intact......no signs of molestation.........sedated for physical exams........responded favorably to music............normal appetite.......transferred to LifeCare home for mentally ill and challenged..........schooling started at grade 5th grade........adjusted well.........learned fast..........graduated from alternative school with honors.......still no human physical contact.......investigation results: adopted at age 4 by deceased couple in house near where found......neglected, physically abused, locked in room......adoptive parents severe alcoholics.......murder suicide..........biological parents deceased in auto accident.....subject was age 2......biological parents were attentive and loving as per the neighbors' statements......no other family.......temporary foster care after found, but never adopted, so moved to LifeCare....."

THIS was the start of Janel's life? She really went through all of this? I leafed through paper after paper of the thick file that contained Janel's whole life story. There was still so much to read through yet, but I was already near tears. Maybe I should stop for a little while.

No. I have to get done, because I have my show tonight at the arena. The last gig of my US tour, then I have a few extra shows in the UK for a week, then I can relax. Go home. Spend time with family............or maybe..........maybe I'll stay here......get to know Janel more.......I can't just leave her. She said everyone leaves her. I can't be one of her list. I don't want to be one of her list. I want to know her better. I want to be around her. She makes me happy. She makes me calm. She's so perfectly simple, it's so easy to be around her. Well, except for a few odd things, like not being able to touch her in any way, not even for a friendly hug or taking her hand to lead her into a food joint, or putting my hand across her back as I open a door for her. But her in general....her presence.....it's just......easy to be around her. I don't even think she knows what head games ARE, let alone, how to play them with people. Everything she says is honest and real. There's no faking.

But...I should read the rest, just to make sure. Surely someone with this awful tragic past must have some pretty severe issues. And Bonnie sure wanted me to read this file.

"lack of smiling......lack of trust of all people.....seems to yearn for human physical contact, yet shies away from any attempts.....accepts and seeks physical contact with animals.....quiet.....a favorite of all LifeCare employees and other residents.....very helpful around home....takes pride in "chores" given to her......distributes donated clothes to each resident as they come in once a month....knows which clothes would match each resident personality....helps resident Oscar eat when he refuses.....helps custodian when needed....tidies up other residents' rooms once a week.....enjoys organization.....shows interest in kitchen, cooking, baking....."

Wow. She seems like such a nice, giving person. Loving, even. I stopped and daydreamed for a few minutes, just staring at the muted tv across from me. It's like she overcame all of her hardships. What a strong woman. What a strong girl. I glanced at the clock, and hurried up to read a few more pages. Sound check in a few hours.

"....friendly with resident Marcus......stays with Marcus on bad days.....listens well and supports Marcus during breakdowns....has full privileges....is able to and often does leave residence for outings alone....does not spend money frivolously......biggest interest is music......has been observed tinkering on LifeCare's piano and acoustic guitar......walks daily, no matter the weather.....observed in town feeling objects like park benches, streetlight poles, etc....seems in a sort of relaxed trance while touching these objects.....sits for hours and watches people going by.......says trying to learn how real people act......seems to ignore events of the past.....most visitors to the residence think subject is also a visitor....talks very slowly when spoken to.....occasional mild breakdowns in response to certain smells, sounds, sights.....breakdowns consist of staring, heavy breathing, perspiration, crying, cowering.....has learned to control most breakdowns and get to a private area to have the breakdowns.....diagnosis of breakdowns is post traumatic stress syndrome.....otherwise mostly normal mental health....state has not been attentive in placing subject to more independent living program, as psychologist recommends.....suggestion of employment in residence after intense therapy for human physical contact.....subject refuses human physical contact therapy.....last updated.....

.....this month.....", I read the bottom of that paper.

So, Janel IS normal. She just has a little bit of PTSD. Well, anyone can have that. And she graduated a little later than normal. From a less than normal school. Because she didn't go to school while she was being neglected and surviving in the woods.

The only issue seems to be physical contact. Why does she refuse therapy for it? She's made such progress.....why would she stop at that? God, how many times I've wished I could just take her hand and hold it as we sat talking the past few days. Maybe someday....perhaps I could help her? I wish. But, I'd probably give her a breakdown. Yeah, I better not push that subject. I don't want to ruin our friendship.

There was more stuff to read in the fat file. But I pretty much felt like I knew all I needed to know.

So there was NOT some big crazy secret that Bonnie was trying to tell me? She just wants me to know what Janel's really like....know her potential.....she cares about Janel and wants her out of that home and into the real world where she belongs, I'm sure.

I want her out of there too. How did the government forget about her? This is 2015. People don't get forgotten in the system. I don't understand it.

I suddenly had this overwhelming anger. And also, I had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to see Janel. But I had my career to put first, so....sound check it would have to be for now.