The Resident // Harry Styles H.S.

30

JANEL'S POV:

Yuck. Back in America. America was fine and all, but there was just something so.....cozy about England.

I don't know why. Maybe it's just because Harry's from there. Or because his family is there, and I have no family, and they make me feel like a part of theirs. Or because I've had some of my best times there. My first party, my first time making love, my first being inside a REAL home, with evidence of years of love and family life inside of it. Or because Harry's awesome house is there.......

I don't know. I just LOVE England. It has a charm about it. Everywhere. London, Harry's friend's house, the small towns and shops....

And I have friends in England. I've only seem them twice so far, but we text a lot, so I consider them friends. Aggie and Michelle. They are always asking when we'll be back around. Always telling me when there's a party, as if we could just take a plane to England real quick, go to the party, then fly back to the US. I mean, I suppose we COULD. Harry told me how much money he has and how much comes in a month, even though it varies a lot, month to month. But yeah....we COULD do that. But that's just stupid and wasteful. He always tells me we can, though, if I want. I figure I'll see them whenever we're there next for whatever reason.

I love having girlfriends to text. So yeah. Another reason I'd love to live in England.

But, Bonnie is here in America. And I'd miss her. She's the closest thing I have to a mom. And my group home kitchen friend, Martin. I'd miss him too. If only I could take them both with me and go live in England. Harry would be so much happier too, I know that. He has never once complained about staying in the US all the time to be with me at every possible second. But I know he has to be tired of it by now.

And I don't want him to be unhappy. Maybe that's why I love England so much, subconsciously? Hmmm...

When we came back from my "virgin ending" trip, we got right back into our normal routine. Which is....no real routine at all. We just do what we feel like doing most of the time. I visit Bonnie. She visits us. We visit Martin. Martin even came over a few times recently to jam with Harry. Martin seems to be better at guitar than Harry. Like, he knows far more sophisticated stuff. He's more classically guitar trained, Harry said.

But Harry knows plenty, and kept right up. He likes playing with someone better, because he can ask questions and learn new things. And he did. They had a great time. We all had a few drinks, and they jammed for hours. And I loved watching every minute of it. I baked things as they played, and brought them out for snack breaks every once in a while. I even made them dinner first. Martin was very proud of my cooking, knowing he taught me everything I knew.

I always felt strange going into the group home to visit Martin or Bonnie at work. Someone else had my room now. I didn't miss it, though. It was a boring, lonely time in my life, so when I peeked in once and saw someone else's stuff...I was glad. I'd spent many years there....but I would be happy if I never saw it again. The only good thing about it was that Harry spent time with me there. And there was the patio where I first touched his face.....

Everytime I went there I'd ask about Marcus. My only friend in the group home, who had gone away for a while. I missed him. I knew he'd still be like I used to be, and it was actually hard to picture hanging out with him again, with me being "normal" now. I'd have to be like Harry used to be with me,  near him, and remember not to touch him in any way......

Thinking about how people had to act around me, and purposely try and NOT do everyday things that people do, like touch a person, or give a hug or just tap their shoulder to get their attention......I realize how hard they had to work at it, being around me! And how hard Harry probably had it, because he loved me before we ever touched, he said, and he constantly wanted to hold my hand or hug me, and he'd have to catch himself. God, what a burden I was on people, now that I look back on it, as a regular person! Yeeeeek! I still can't believe Harry stuck around after the first day! Let alone the second or third, and learning my problems! But he did, for some strange reason....I guess it was love. And I'm so thankful that he did.