The Resident // Harry Styles H.S.

14

Sm.ut Warning? Well, not really sm.ut....but graphic s.ex education, anyway for this entire chapter:

JANEL'S POV:

Touched myself? I thought for a moment. Images of a certain resident or two in my group home came to mind. There were a few who always got in trouble for "touching themselves" as the employees called it. Is that what Harry means? Sometimes I'd purposely go and try to see what exactly they were doing when they got reprimanded in the halls or cafeteria or somewhere. I just didn't know what they were doing. I'd see their arm moving very fast from behind. And once I saw the one resident's pen.is hanging out, sticking straight out, and his hand was around it, shaking it. I just didn't understand what they were doing. I was curious. But I never found out.

"I don't have a pen.is, Harry. I can't touch myself." I finally decided to correct him.

He looked at me funny for a few seconds.

"What do you.....women touch themselves too, you know....not just men", he responded to me, sort of laughing a little.

"They can? I don't know. I don't even know what you mean, really. Sometimes some of the residents would get yelled at and told to go in their room or stop touching themselves, but I never knew what it meant." I confessed to Harry.

Harry laughed again a little bit.

I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Why was this funny? I hated stuff I didn't know. I feel dumb when I don't know things I'm supposed to know.

"I'm sorry Janel. I shouldn't be laughing" he told me, as if he read my mind. "Men and women touch themselves sometimes, when they get the urge to have s.ex, and there's no one to have s.ex with. So what I'm trying to tell you is, that's what people do when they can't have s.ex. That's how they make that urge go away. Touching yourself is actually called mast.urbation. Or mas.turbating. People mast.urbate. Anyway, sometimes you can't touch yourself, so you just gotta be patient until the urge goes away. It's......it's called being horn.y. Did you ever hear that word?" Harry asked me.

"Yes. I've heard before. And I asked a group home staff member what it meant, and they said I'd learn it someday, but not today, and not from them. So how do you touch yourself then?" I asked, eager to learn stuff.

Harry's face got redder than it already had gotten when he asked me if I touched myself. He swallowed loudly. He kept sighing, too. He looked...odd. Frustrated or something.

"I can't.....I can't really SHOW YOU how to touch yourself, Janel. That would be......pretty much having s.ex in a way. Maybe you can watch a video or read how to do it?" Harry suggested, stuttering the whole time.

"Why can't you just show me how you do it? Then I'll try it...." I suggested back, naively.

Harry laughed a strange, strangled laugh and said "oh ho ho ho boy....."

"You're gonna be the death of me, Janel" he finally said, but with a smile on his face.

Harry put his head down and ran his hands through his messy hair. He sighed. He thought. He sighed again. And thought some more. Ran his hands through his hair again. Back and forth, back and forth. Down to the back of his neck, and back up to his forehead. He looked stressed out. Maybe I was bothering him.

"I'm sorry Harry. I don't mean to make you stressed out. I'll stop bothering you. I'm....sorry." I told him, as I got up off the couch and walked to the bedroom really fast. I felt stupid. I felt like an idiot. I felt bad for making him feel bad. I could feel my face getting red hot and tingly. Like it always felt when I felt stupid and didn't know what people were talking about. Next would be the tears.