The Resident // Harry Styles H.S.

18

HARRY'S POV:

It had been a week or so since Janel and I had any form of s.exual activity. I think she was giving me a break, since I pretty much had a sissy boy breakdown after what little stuff we finally did one day.

I was beginning to wonder if she'd ever touch me or let me touch her again. But I took it well. I was kind of happy, actually. Because even though Bonnie had set my mind straight, I still had to get my mind in that straight mode. So I had NO problem with Janel not mole.sting me every time I came near her.

Even though I wanted her to. GOD, I wanted her to!

I was getting worried though, that maybe I scarred her and messed her mind up about s.ex.

I figured I'd just wait a little bit longer, then have a talk with her. I would have done it sooner, but I didn't want to seem like I was being impatient. This was all so confusing. If only I had my mind straight before it all.

Bonnie set Janel's mind straight too, after she talked to me that day when I broke down. She told Janel my point of view, and tried to get her to understand it. I think Janel had a better idea now of why I wanted her to wait a little while.

And Bonnie took her to a doctor and got her birth control pills. Janel had started taking them, so this was a good sign, at least. It meant she was PLANNING to have s.ex in the future, right?

Ohhhhh....maybe Janel thinks we can't do ANYTHING until the pills kick in after 3 months? Maybe that's why she's not touching me.

Sure, we kiss and hug. But she keeps it simple and clean.

And we're getting along great, still......

I was in a shi.tty mood today, because I had to go to France for an award show later on.

I wasn't able to take Janel yet. I'll be there for 3 days, and I'm miserable about it. Sometimes I want to just keep what money I've made (a good few million already) and just give up the limelight, and be a normal person again, and be with Janel.

But I know I'd be unhappy that way, eventually.

I want to make music. And I want people to hear it. And like it. And make their own memories around my words. I like that.

I just want Janel at my side at all times. And soon, she will be.

Until then.....I'll miss her for the next 3 days.

Bonnie said she'll stop by every day to see how she is. Even invite her to her own house, maybe have dinner with her and her kids. Maybe they'll go out shopping. Girl time.

I think this is a great idea.

Janel was still asleep. We stayed up late last night, cuddled on the couch, watching movies. It was a crappy, stormy day, so it was the perfect cuddle day. And cuddle we did.

Oh, did I mention I haven't had a wank in a week? This has gotta be the longest time I've ever been without an "O" since....age 12 or something? It's crazy.

I'm just....giving myself a break. But the past few days, I feel like this might not be a good idea. I might just be making myself a giant, human firework, ready to burst at any second. We'll see.

I sort of wanted to see what it was like to be Janel, I guess. Be s.ex starved, so I can better understand how she feels.

Yep. I'm understanding how she feels, alright!! I get it. Ohhhhh I get it.

I made Janel some breakfast and brought it in to her in bed. She should really get up now, or she'll feel like sh.it.

We ate in bed, and laughed a lot this morning. It was nice. A perfect last morning before I leave later today.