AMARANTHINE| The Eternal Love (BWWM)

Ch.1) The death of 11:47

I died.

And I never truly understood it before. What it actually meant to live, really live. And then, what it meant to watch that very life flash before your eyes. The crisp cold night stung against my cheeks, nearly freezing them off for good until the blessed moment I got inside the comfort of heat. It was unusual for it to be so cold late March I remember thinking at the the time. When I expressed that thought I remembered a friend claiming how it was always that way.

Still it should, "It should be warmer." I thought. A subconscious wish I made directed towards more than just the weather. It should be warmer. Life? Love? Death or...him, maybe?

Warmer. If it were warmer? Would that night... That endless black oblivion; would it have swallowed me up then? Such a fleeting thought, like the many I had the moment before the last: "Perhaps, this is what God looks like; like fear in our most unexpected and very last moment. Like everything. Like nothing. Like your very last breath."

I suppose it's rather ironic that I died and yet I'm here telling this. But even more so ironic, is how my life hadn't really begun until after my death.

Honestly, I really should've followed my gut and not gone to that idiotic party.

A mid school year party exclusively for seniors, we'd just finished mid terms so everyone was ready to let loose again. Though, I remember spotting more than a few underclass men as soon as I entered. And though I had a few friends, that were more like acquaintances here than anything, I didn't find myself too thrilled about it.

Did I want to party tonight? No. No, not really. I'd rather be asleep.

But that boy I liked all throughout highschool was here. The only guy in school who has ever really talked to me ever all through those very long, very solid four years.

And mind you, he never goes to parties, But he's popular. It's amazing really. I guess his popularity comes from his great looks, which I don't blame. The boy was finer than wine.

And if he was going than so was I, "Maybe something might happen, and he'll confess his undying love to me?" I told myself. The rest of me, the logical me, acknowledged that he barely knew my name even though he said hi to me every morning.

So it did not come as a surprise that night when nothing happened, for he never confessed his undying love for me. Instead I found myself standing against the wall and watching as he sucked faces with his new girlfriend Bethany. A girl whom I never heard off, and decided would remain unimportant to me; despite me wanting to know everything about her in fact. Apparently they'd been dating for over two week.

I never knew of the absurdity.

But she was pretty so I didn't blame the chemistry that may or may not have attracted them.

I stayed and watched like the stalker that I low key was. And after my five minutes of glooming, I decided I would enjoy myself a bit, deciding to dance with some random guy who's face I can't seem to remember. I hadn't cared much. My body was much too busy in being relaxed as it got lost in the neon colors flashing in the dark room. Moving in sync with the heavy pounding of the music.

Bodies against bodies, unexplained laughter as my skin became damp, and my heart began beating faster as if racing to the steady beat of the music. So many people filled the room. The dance floor packed with people swaying their hips and moving their feet.

People hiding in the dark corners, leaning against the walls, drinking, making out, or just plain old talking, and yet I still managed to feel like the only one there. Just dancing right there in the middle of the room, and all around me was not people but colors. So many colors surrounding me. Strangely enough so, I remember that night feeling as if it were my very first of living, but also, my very last.

How little I knew to how synchronized it would all be to the everything after.

Anyway... I gave in to what was my body's exhaustion. I drank water and I left, with only the water in my system still.

So please know that I wasn't drunk when the accident happened. I swear to you I wasn't, I enjoyed the party, yes but not to such an extent. I only drink when I'm home and planning on not going anywhere. And I'm not a big drinker to begin with.

I've been driving since the age of sixteen and I scored a 100% on the Driver's Ed test. Therefore I clearly got no questions wrong, and a discount on my insurance.

I've never gotten any points on my record. And I've only been pulled over by the cops twice. Once for a broken taillight I pretended to not know was broken, and again for driving too suspiciously and swerving. But it was two in morning then and I was tired, coming back from working a long shift and I chose to cooperate and explain best as I could. My obvious work uniform did that for me though... Both time they let me go with a warning, after they saw my squeaky clean background.

I mean, the fact that I got into an accident in the first place still shocks me really. One moment I'm just smoothly driving and the next I'm crying like a baby. I don't think I've ever been so horribly scarred in my life. I mean, I got lost from my mother in a supermarket once and that was pretty traumatic but easily forgettable. The remembrance of all my very bones snapping on the other hand: wasn't something I was exactly going to forget anytime soon. All those broken glass shards, the way the big ass white bag  was supposed to puff up from my steering wheel and save my life, yet instead did absolutely nothing. And as the big finale half of my body decided to throw itself out of the window. Yes. Out. The window. I should've been wearing my seat belt though so... My fault I guess?

It truly was an extraordinarily shocking thing.

But still. I swear I'm a good driver

So if anyone was the hot mess in the situation it was definitely the truck driver.

Funny thing is, is that he lived.

But he was definitely in my lane and he was definitely going to crash into me.

So instinct came over me and I had swerved away from him sharply.
I guess I swerved way to hard and may or may have not lost a little bit of control of the car.

So down, down, down my car went falling far, far away from the highway. And it spun, spun, spun around on and on and on. Honestly, I was long dead before my car stopped its silly shenanigans. Seriously my car was overreacting, all I did was a little teeny tiny sharp turn and it was only raining a little teeny tiny bit hard. And for that, I'm pretty sure I snapped my neck, broke a few ribs, and ended up sobbing like a punk the whole time. You know? Until my last breath left and I just died.

My name is Ines Patience Archer and I died a few days ago at approximately at 11:47 PM March 23. I was only 18. And I was coming home from a party, one I never wanted to go to in the first place. And I should a be few feet buried underground with a tombstone that read the date of my birth and death, with a cheesy line written across it about my life.

Yeah. I should be dead.

But I'm not.

That crisp cold night had poured with terror. It swallowed me up whole, that beautiful black sky... and then it spit me back out. Brand new.

And claimed.

What's gonna happen? Hmm? If you liked what you read don't forget to comment and vote.

Ines is pronounced ee - NEZH