AMARANTHINE| The Eternal Love (BWWM)

Ch. 22) Semi Silent Secrets

A/N: Yes, I'm updating at one in the morning 🤷🏾‍♀️ what can I say. Anyways Happy reading 📖!!

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As childish as I may have felt for locking myself in my room for the majority of the past weeks it made me feel significantly better. I wasn't exactly doing anything healthy.

Mainly eating occasionally, drinking and listening to music. Not the best distractions, but it was still seclusion from the world opposite my door, one I found myself currently overwhelmingly afraid to face. Afraid of the pain it could cause me, the reminders I'd be forced to confront. The golden eyes that would make me feel more alive than I've ever felt in my entire life, yet drain the entirety of my being all at once.

So yeah. I was being immature and choosing to get drunk all by my lonesome, and ignore the things that hurt me most. With a bra and leggings on only I roll over in bed, reaching towards the speakers Arie lent me and turned it on. Connecting my phone to it through Bluetooth I scroll through YouTube for something to play loudly. Something I did quite often to drown out the endless draining thoughts running through my mind. But slightly also in hopes that Jerias might just burst through my door with his angry, handsome face and tell me to turn the damn music down. In fact all week I was hoping terribly hard he'd come to see me for anything, just to yell at me, look at me, tell me its Wednesday Thursday or Tuesday. Tell me I stink and he can smell me from down the hall. Literally. Anything. But he hasn't, not even for blood.

And I miss him. But I hate him right now. And it isn't Tuesday Wednesday or Thursday. It was Friday, and we had the August Ball. I would have to see him, and here I am no where near ready, yet still wanting to see him more than anything.

The last time I did see him was when I sat down with his father Markys, Roseline his father's Amaranthine, the Being and him. Talking about... well why Jerias and I should be together basically. And all this other fate crap I didn't care to hear about. I don't care about fate although I'm sure it helped quite a bit to bring us together. But I don't care about bonding's either. It wasn't about that. It was never about that. I loved Jerias just as he was. Bonded or not.

I loved him.

I didn't want to hear him deny what we felt and what we were all over again so I left. Rudely so, but I did. It was either that, or I ended up bawling my eyes out in front of his guest. His father surprisingly though, had a very gentle aura about him. Mysterious no doubt, with the same secretively glowing eyes Jerias himself carried. But gentle. Quite the contrast to Jerias's rigged edges.

An aggressively loud knock sounds from my door pleasantly cutting through my thoughts. I was currently a fan of any form of distraction that kept me from thinking of Jerias. And anyway I'd been waiting for Arie this whole time. We were supposed to get ready together, and she was a bit late now.

"Coming!" I sung happily nearly skipping to my door, "I'm surprised you made it," I yank the door open, "Cause you're late..." my voice slips from my throat and I nearly take a step back shocked.

It wasn't Arie.

It was Jerias.

I don't even look at him for more than ten seconds, long enough to see his deep eyes and handsome unreadable face. He casual stance, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. And painfully, a little spark in that gaze.

And then I shut the door.

At least I tried too.
Jerias just easily pushes it back open and enters my room forcing me to step back and allow him entry. After all I was merely a stick to him. The hell was I supposed to do. Yell 'move bitch get out the way.'