Imagine (SuperNatural)

Gabriel + Balthazar x Reader #2

His eyes. His once joyful, mischievous, eyes were gone. The eyes that if you looked hard enough you could've seen the tiniest bit of hope left now had absolutely no hope in them. They were lifeless and haunting at the same time. If felt like they were burn into the back of your mind. And when you woke up in the middle of the nights - sobbing your eyes out - those eyes weren't there to greet you. Instead you would be alone until you felt someone hold you close. Until you felt safe. You wouldn't look up though because you knew the concern eyes watching you aren't the same ones that were haunting your dreams.

     Laughter use to be heard so often that Dean and Sam would have to make you stop before you got sick. Now they worried when they haven't heard you laugh in a long time. They had no idea why it seemed like whatever happiness, hope, and innocence you had left had been brutally ripped from you. They just noticed one day the sudden change that frighten them. Countless nights of lost sleep over what to do about you and running in to check on you. Countless nights only for them to stop one day when you came back from a rather long walk with the tiniest of smiles and a quiet 'hey'. Once again they had no clue what had happen to change your mood - this time for better - but unlike this time they would found out. Your friendship with Balthazar had come as a complete shock to them. What could you two possibly have in common? Dean wanted to know badly, he wanted to trap the angel until he confessed, but Sam pointed out that Balthazar was able to get you to laugh again. That when you would talk to the angel they could see some of the lost hope returning in your eyes. So Balthazar became as welcome as an angel other than Cas could get.

And then all hell broke loose.

     Dean walked into the room to find you and Sam. He had gotten a text from Sam that you were very upset and to come but he hadn't been told why. He had a guess though. Angels. Right now though you were his top concern. Carefully, he walks over to you and pulls you into a hug, allowing you to cry on him.
"I .... I c-can't ..... I ca-care f-for.....b-both" you mumble into Dean's shirt as you continue to sob. Dean frowns a little in confusion before placing his hands on your shoulders so you two are face to face.
"I .... Know. I mean I get it. Don't know how I just sorta realized all of this but that doesn't matter. Listen (y/n), I know you love them both. They both mean something to you but you can't have 'em both. That's not fair for anyone - besides I know you and that's not your sort of thing so you gotta decide what to do."
"Wh-why c-couldn't he have told me he was alive" you whine convince that this whole mess is Gabe's fault. Had you known you would've waited. Would've remain loyal.
"That's why" Sam spoke up from next to you as if he had just read your mind. You bow your head and Dean carefully lifts your chin up at him.
"Forget everything that has happened. Just....what do you like and not like about each of them?"
"....I can't take Gabe's dishonesty" you respond quietly only to receive an encouraging look from Dean to continue on. "And Balthazar being a thief makes me feel uncomfortable."
"But..." Sam gently presses for you to continue.
"But - leave me alone" you scream as you run out of the room and far from your brothers. You're already completely overwhelm and Sam and Dean are just making things worse. You feel arms wrap themselves around you and you struggle for a moment before realizing who it is.
"Calm down darling. It's ok love it's only me" Balthazar assures you in a calm voice as he continues to hold you but smiles at seeing you relax now.
"What's wrong love?"
"N-nothing" you lie as you look away from him.
"Really? Cause I had a freak out earlier myself but maybe I was just hallucinating."
"Wha...what freaked you out" you ask already having a clue but still curious and also feeling calmer listening to his voice. Balthazar looks as if he would rather not say for a moment before sighing and speaking.
"I saw Gabe. He - the bloody git had the nerve to tell me he had only fake his - (y/n)? Love what's wrong" Balthazar asks suddenly at feeling you tense up.
"I ... H-he came t-to m-m-me in th-the p-p-park" you begin waiting for Balthazar to freak out at finding out you had kept something from him. Instead the angel just held you closer and comforted you.
"What else" he asks his voice gentle and soothing.
"H-he t-tol-told me .... He st-still l-loves me."
"...and you?"
"I l-love him b-but I also love you." Balthazar couldn't help but smile at hearing the confession. To know that his feelings for you and your feelings for him are the same and to know that you don't want to hurt anyone in what has to be a really difficult and confusing situation.
"Take your time love. Calm down. Once you're finally calm down then you can decide. Gabe and I aren't in any rush and no matter what you decide we still love you and will be here for you." You stare at Balthazar in awe. No one has ever been this gentle, sweet, and patient with you. Sure Gabe was as well but even he had his moments where he would snap or say that you were overthinking the situation and had to choose already. You knew he didn't mean it, that he was simply stressed, but it still hurt you and you would feel so guilty after that. But Balthazar....Balthazar had never snapped at you. Never lost his patience. He's willing to wait for you just because he wants you to be happy and put your health first.
"Bal..." You finally manage to speak as Balthazar continues to comfort you.
"Yes love?"
"I wanna be with you."
"You're sure?"
"Yes" you exclaim as you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.