Send me to sleep: Dan X reader

Two years later

"Zoe, come on. Please. I know you want to surprise me but I don't really think a big party is a good idea. Especially not... There..." You whine.

"Y/N! You deserve it. After the year you've had, you could use a good party!" She protests.

You shrug and smile weakly.

She laughs and hugs you from behind, "I know you don't want to think about Dan. But maybe it's time to move on. It's been two years Y/N, he's not coming back. I'm sorry."

"You're right. I know he's not coming back, I've known for a while. You know today would have been our first wedding anniversary. I miss him." You trail off, holding back tears.

Walking through London feels cold. It feels lonely and bleak. Now when you feel anxious or panicky, Dan's not there to pick you up and save you.

Zoe walks you to your apartment and hugs you goodbye.

leaning against the arm of your sofa and falling backwards onto the cushy pillows began your trail of thought.

you pull over Dan's shirt and inhale his musky scent. the memories of the incident in France still haunt you. his kindness will always be imprinted in your mind every time you see that shirt.

looking over at the clock you see a photo of him.

you cant hold back.

you cry.

you scream.

you sob.

you yell.

you cut...

Phil rushes over and barges through the door.

he pulls you into a hug. sobbing into his shoulder he strokes your hair. looking into his eyes, he has been crying, you see the torment and sadness he's been bottling up. he sobs loudly and hugs you again. this time you're stroking his hair and rubbing his shoulder.

"I miss him, so fucking much." Phil sobs, Phil never swears but this is Dan he's talking about.

"I do too."

"I heard you crying, I know about your arms too. Come on, Dan wouldn't want this. if you feel bad, please talk to me, I'm here for you just as much as Dan was. I wont replace him, I'll be a friend to you forever." Phil said sincerely.

you squeeze his hand and smile at him.

"lets go get lunch and just talk." Phil shuffled your arm to get you moving.

reluctantly you stand and walk to the window. grey, gloomy clouds roll over the pale British sky. The winter winds swooped and weaved in and out of your hair. Phil stood tall, beside you, acting as a wind shield against the elements.

you sit opposite each other and go over the past events. you're back in your own apartment again, without Dan you felt no connection to their house. too many memories, too much pain.

Phil brought up Zoe and Joe, he went over stories and told tales of the past.

finally Dan seeped into the conversation. silence falls immediately.

you begin to stand up in unison, you wander over to the door.

the clouds thicken and the skies look angry and aggressive. they taunt you with their rumbles and splutters of rain.

spots of moisture speckle the ground randomly, the smell of rain filled your nasal passage. Phil sits on a bench and gestures for you to sit beside him. you lean on his shoulder and close your eyes.

he leans his head on yours and sighs contently. the skies open and rain is now pelting towards you.

neither of you move.

his body was warm and strong, his posture was firm and kept you upright. his breathing was calm and content. it soothed you.

in the corner of your eye you see a familiar tall, dark figure.

he strides through the rain drops effortlessly.

you hear his breathing from across the road.

his head turned towards you then spun back, avoiding your gaze.

his eyes are gorgeous.

his body is tall and strong.

you know him.

its clear that he knows you.

a woman stops him, he tries to barge past her with no prevail.

he begins to get agitated and shuffles around uncomfortably.

he nods a little and points to his wrist with a shrug. he begins to walk on, before leaving your sight he turns around.

for a few seconds you make eye contact with him.

his smile melts as does yours.

now its obvious, how did you not see it before.

its Dan...

(I'm posting this on the 30th of june. fuck off I'm impatient!)