Send me to sleep: Dan X reader

Goodbye

A/N, next part will be in your pov back in Japan.

*Phil's POV*

The wind clashed upon my window, the rain beat against the walls and the thunder bellowed through the sky.

January 12th 2018

The house is cold and quiet, I've been alone all night. It's five am. Lightning cracked across the horizon illuminating the grey, grimy city.

My phone hummed from the sea of bed sheets. It's Chris.

I pick it up and accept the call.

"Hi Phil. So. Um.. You.. Um. Know... Right, well. You see... The thing is.," he breathed in slowly, "You know how I feel about you Phil, so. Will you be my boyfriend?" He stammered.

I sighed.

Silence burned through my ears.

"Please, answer me," he begged, "I won't mess you around or isolate you... I'm not like, her."

I feel my heart drop at the thought of Elise.

"I'm, not... Good, Chris. You deserve better, I'm a mess." I sigh.

"Phil, you said you loved me!" He cried in shock.

"I do, that doesn't mean it's the right thing to feel. I really love you, I just can't be with you."

"So yesterday in the park. That meant nothing."

"No, it meant everything. We should end it now, with good memories. No arguments. Remember all the good times we had. At Brighton pier in 2010, the fantastic foursome videos, the trips to the pub, sharing lunch in London, the wedding. The wedding was bizarre. You stood beside me and I felt your breath, it soothed me. And it scared me. Because I love you. Love is terrifying. To feel such overwhelming feelings for someone else is as if you've lost control of your heart. Believe me, I wish I could give you mine. I can't. Sorry. Goodbye Chris."

Within minutes there's a knock at the door.

Reluctantly i open it.

Chris pushes me to the wall, "follow me." He instructed.

He grabbed my sleeve and escorted me out onto the street. We reached the church where the wedding took place.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked down.

"Do one thing for me." He whispered.

I nodded.

"Kiss me."

I hesitated but leaned in.

Our heads touched gently.

We breathed in and out in unison.

Our heart beat thudded in time.

We were drenched, the rain had seeped into my jeans.

Forks of lightning licked the clouds.

Our eyes met and for the first time. We saw each other.

At last our lips met.

Our kiss was long and passionate, it symbolised both the start and the end of a love. A love that will surely cure all depression and darkness that could seep into ones life.

When we parted he bit his lip. I gave a weak smile before pulling my hood up and running away.

I ran through the rain and weaved through each drop.

At this point I couldn't tell whether the water on my collar was rain or tears.

I didn't care.

If I let someone in, they'll break me again.

When I think I'm in love, I lose control, I swoon and act irrationally and stupidly and in the end I get hurt.