Send me to sleep: Dan X reader

Not like this

Kissing Phil felt right now. No regret at all, but still something held you back.

His kisses trailed off, down your neck and onto your collar bones.

"No, Phil I'm sorry. I can't." You whisper.

He looks up sadly, "Oh, I see. That's okay. It just kind of happened in the heat of the moment." He shrugs.

You hug him tightly, "I love you Phil...," you feel Phil's heart beat speed up, "But I still love Dan. Sorry."

He sniffles, holding back tears and hugging you tighter.

"Thank you for telling me, I always wanted to know what it would be like to kiss you, when you kiss back. It's stupid but I did truly love you Y/N, I always will. I do understand you don't feel the same way, I won't force you again. I felt awful... I'm worried about Dan." Phil sighed.

Pulling away he smiles weakly.

"I should leave..." He says.

You grab his wrist as he leaves just as Dan had done all those years ago.

You kiss his cheek before letting go of his hand.

In silence he pulled the door open and just left.

Love had escaped you once again. (PhilXReader?)

You check your text messages.

Dan: Are you okay?

You want to cry and scream and tear up your body, but one text can't portray such emotions as heartbreak.

Y/N: That's not important, tell me about you. What happened in Paris?

Dan: Well, I went back and wrote you both a letter before going back to Manchester. My family helped me back on my feet. I thought that you didn't care about me anymore. I left phone numbers and addresses on the letter to my family and new apartment so you could see me. You didn't. I met Elise and moved on.

Y/N: What's going on now?

Dan: Well, it's not good. This last month with Elise has been awful. She slapped me for talking to cat and Zoe. I can't leave her Y/N, just keep that in mind.

Y/N: She's hurting you Dan, can't you see?!

Dan: She loves me really! I'm sure!

Y/N: You don't show love with bruises Dan! It's abuse!

Dan: I don't care what you think okay! Stay out of this!

You turn off your phone and look up at the ceiling. It's 6am. The 11th December.

Wandering to the balcony you see the remaining stars littering the crisp, winter sky.

You breathe heavily and slowly but it's no use, you cry. You sob. You scream at the rising sun.

This is not how you should have found Dan.

You should have ran to each other and leaped into his arms on the day of your first wedding anniversary. You would kiss as the snow fell down around you and hold each other in the cold winter wind.

You would go home and snuggle up by the fire with hot drinks while watching Netflix. Leaning on his shoulder he would kiss your cheek and wrap his strong arms around you for warmth.

Underneath a woolen blanket you would both fall asleep in the half light of a crackling fire...

Not like this.