Send me to sleep: Dan X reader

A moon without stars

*Dan's POV*

Phil has never shown his anxieties and insecurities. He paints this picture, this mask: He's just innocent, happy and friendly. No one has seen his dark side. He isn't always innocent. He isn't always happy. And he isn't always friendly.

He gets angry, jealous, sad, disgusted, outraged, frustrated, anxious and depressed because he's human; he's not perfect, no one is. Who am I to put up an act in the one place people think they know me? Normal.

Being known is scary. Being judged is humiliating. Being vulnerable is devastating.

But this is the life we've chosen back in the beginning. Back when all that we thought, all the we hoped and all that we did was imaginary. The little things like saying, "I've got a lot of requests to do..." Or having a celebration every five subscribers, or getting excited when you get more than ten views/likes. They seem insignificant now, but then they gave us purpose. They gave us strength, they gave us confidence and pride because we were noticed. People saw what we had done and appreciated it. They saw us as entertaining or funny or kind or even a role model.

To be told you've helped someone, whether it be to make a friend or take on another sunrise. You've made a difference.

And that is why YouTube is a valid career. We are allowed to hide ourselves. We shouldn't be expected to share our whole lives with strangers, we are human with flaws and problems.

So we work on them and create a face that people like because in our society image is looked upon by every eye...

*Phil's POV*

I'm going to say it, out loud. The tweet was stupid, it's not the right way to express real feeling.

Turning on the camera scared me so much, it was real and happening right now.

"I'm bisexual. I'm in love with a man. He's kind, sweet, gorgeous, happy and supportive throughout everything I've been through. He loves my family, by that I mean Dan, Y/N and PJ, to be honest that's all I ever wanted." I nodded slowly and turned off the camera.

A pair of arms snaked around my waist and a soft voice hummed in my ear. Y/N pulled me tightly and kissed my cheeks quickly.

"I'm so proud of you!" She screamed.

I smiled happily and hugged her back.

"Does Chris know you've come out?" She asked curiously.

I nodded and snugged my face into her neck. She was one of the biggest supporters I've ever had. Dan was irreplaceable, he was my brother and soul mate. Me without Dan is like a moon without stars.