"It's so nice to get to know you," Taeil smiled shyly.
It was the next morning, after a horrible sleepless night, where everytime I closed my eyes I saw Sicheng falling and the blood spilling over the kitchen floor. I was one mess, when I dried my hair and changed into fresh clothes, and reached the dining room in the morning. Beakfast wasn't an option, so I settled with water. Now me and Taeil were making a walk through the graden and he told me about his music and passion. He loved maths and his father wanted him to become a scientist, but he settled for music, because it always made him happy. He was a little shorter than me and he stretched his head to get rid of the distance what seemed sweet, but so unecessary.
"Are you and Kun a couple?" Taeil asked stopping next to a flowerbed.
"What? No, never in a million years. If we would be the last two people on Earth, not even!" I felt a burning anger.
"Oh, why is it? Women love him and his skills," Taeil smiled and moved a inch closer to me.
The answer was here, right here, but it hurt.
"Because there is someone I love," I whispered feeling how my throat dried.
"Oh," a sadness filled Taeil's warm eyes. "He's a lucky man."
"Yes lucky," I repeated.
Would be lucky, if he would be alive.
"So what's your favourite part of the garden?" I asked to cut this atmosphere and Taeil treid to play it cool.
He told me it's the rose garden and we walked there passing jasmine bushes where butterflies played hide and seek, some yellow like lemonade, other white like clouds, and one blue.
The afternoon passed slowly and the redhead had left the house to visit the theatre, and make first preparations for the show, while Taeil hid in the practice room to review songs for a recital in the city hall this evening.
The house went quiet and I only met the gardner a nice guy with rosy cheeks and a straw hat, who had the habit to talk to himself while planting flowers. I was bored so I decided to explore the house, movement kept me from crushing. There was a orangery with a winter garden and huge windows, where I found a beautiful bench with cushions. Was I the bad one? I had run away, taking the guilt on me.
I noticed a stare, I felt it o me and the goose bumps returned. Allergy, that what it was.
"What do you want from me?" I asked not turning around. His footsteps were loud not like his servants and he stopped opposite me.
"Pick a card," he said handing me a deck of cards.
"What's this?" I asked looking up at him.
"You wanted to learn," his smile wasn't there and I was glad for it.
So I grabbed a card and glanced at it - 2 of hearts.
"Interesting," he grinned.
"It's no fun at all, if you know what card I picked the moment I look at it, or before I do," I got up and returned the cards to him.
"Let's do it the opposite way. Find my card," he blocked my way out. "I told you, that reality is an illusion the same is a card and picking a card," he shuffled the cards in a superspeed and picked one. "Find my card," he put it into the deck and gave it to me "Shuffle," he ordered.
"Where is the trick?" I shivered.
It was a impossible task, but I took the cards in my hands and then my fingertips burned on one, so I took it out and turned to me - 9 of spades.
"Is it your card?" I turned it to him and he smiled.
"Yes it's my card."
"So what's next?" I asked.
"That's it for the lesson," Kun took his cards and walked out of the room leaving me angry and stunned.
His voice was like crystal, clear and soft, a talent so rare it could cut diamonds. Taeil sang and the theatre room was quiet. I got the impression the audience was too scared to breath, because each sound might have broken the spell of his magic. He was even more handsome when the high notes came out of his throat. The redhead blinked a few times, I guessed his eyes moved strange ways again. I had a seat in the first row, on a guest spot, between Kun and his assistant.
Another song ended and the instruments went quiet, a acoustic guitar and a violin was left to support Taeil during a ballad. He looked my way and smiled.
"I think he likes you," the redhead nearly caughed this words into my ear and I was ready to push him off the chair.
"My last love..." the first words of the song filled the room and I felt a needle in my left hand.
Breath. It wasn't... or was it... my last love.
"My last words to you..."
Do I remember them anyway? No, but I remembered the last kiss. His always tanned skin... and it hit me like a thought you never want to have. I'll never see him again, never kiss or touch him.
Taeil nearly stopped siging when the chair squeaked as I sprang up.
The audience glanced at me with so much hate. I knew each of my steps, as loud as a growl was hurting their ears and the performer, but there it was, the door. It made a huge noise, but I was free on the other side.
I felt wet-salt on my face. Was I crying, or was it a illusion?
The stairs went down to the lobby and I took two for one. The theatre's entrance was open and the square in front of it empty. The moon was out and the night air hit my lungs. It felt so cold way colder than it was. I began to tremble. Who needs love anyway?
"It's brain training, dealing with heartbreak and grief," the voice behind me made me breath in.
Why wasn't I shocked to see him here?
„It's not," I whispered, but a moment later he closed me in his warm arms and a nice sensation went down my skin.
I actually hated it, my body played fool with me and acted against my heart and brain, but my tears became more and the loud sobs were easier to handle, when I pressed my face into his shoulder.
"You can't train your heart, but you can train your brain," Kun whispered right into my ear.
"I hate you," I said cleaning my nose against his shirt.
"I know," he laughed.
I could imagine this awful smile. It's the last time you'll see me cry and needing your help. Oh, how I wished it were Sicheng's arms instead, but we learn to settle with what we have, not what we want from childhood. The teddy my parents couldn't afford and the on they could get. The seat next to my favourite school friend the new girl got, and they became friends forever, so I lost a seat and a friend, the bike you buy instead of the sport car you drive in you head, etc. etc... till you're too sick to get up from your own bed.
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