From her diary to her heart

37. My worries

"No I haven't received the mail. Are you sure it was sent?.... Okay send it again, confirm it....right. I also want the status on the Hampshire Plan... Yes schedule the visit for next Tuesday."

I kept the phone down while I read through another set of files which were mailed. I called Jake and had a brief talk with him.

Over the past year when I was married to Tiffany I never supported her in any manner. Support might not be the word to describe it. I was never there for her. She was somebody different. Her independency was bold. If she hadn't settled a deal with me I think we would be in an entirely different situation.
She erected this huge wall before I could anything.
It was a matter of ego. Who cared more about it. I think this was just a reason to cover up. I was hesitant to submit myself to her.
People suffer. They suffer cause of ego.
I think I was more than hesitant.
I think it is too late my hesitancy is completely long forgotten.
I had finally succumbed to her.
Admitting it is painful as hell when the person doesn't realize the depth of it.

"What are you thinking?"
A coffee mug lay in my desk in between the piled up papers.
"This is really messy." She spoke to herself.

"What are you doing here?"
I was too startled too see her in my office room.

"You woke up early. I thought I'd make some coffee for you."
She placed the coffee closer towards me.

"You shouldn't have."

"I am sorry I am disturbing  you. I'll leave you be."

"No."
I kept the file aside. I got up walking around the desk towards her.
I stood close to her. I looked down towards her. She looked down not being able to see me.
I didn't know why did I get up.
My body had a different mind I think. Seriously.

"Good morning."
Was all I could say.

"Go..Good morning."

The button at the top of the shirt were unbuttoned. I could see her chest and even mid waist.
I could see the bruises. They looked mild now but not too good. That were lashed out right across her chest.

"Do you want to have that coffee?" She cleared her throat and she looked up at me.

"Ah yes I am."
I took the coffee mug and sipped onto it.
This was the first time I drank something made by Tiffany. I smiled as I tasted it. Strong as I liked it. It actually felt good, this small little gesture of hers.

"Here have some."
I handed my coffee mug to her.
Our fingers touched holding the mug, she took a big sip from it.
I watched as she gulped it down slowly. I couldn't stop staring at the blue bruises across her smooth pale skin. I frowned.

"Sit." I ordered her.

"What?"

"Sit on the desk." I gently pushed her as she sat on the desk.

"What happened?"

"How are the bruises on the chest?"

"Fine... I guess they are healing."

I stared at her while she uncomfortably shifted. The bruises should have healed by now. They were still prominent.

"Unbutton the shirt."

"What?!"

"I need to take a look at them."

"At what?"
She looked mortified and immediately shielded her chest.
It came out wrong but at this point it didn't matter.

"The bruises." I stressed.

"Right."
She heaved a sigh of relief   Her flushed face was already returning back to its color.