sweet and spicy 》isaac lahey

m i s s

--Colline 

"It's been so long since we've been alone like this."Isaac spoke. After meeting with the man, who lost his finger, Katsahi. Isaac and I decided to go home. "I miss talking to you, Colline, I do."Isaac adds. "And I miss you. I miss us. I miss everything we do." 

I was quiet. Just staring out the window and whole-heartedly listening to Isaac. He kept saying sorry for what he said weeks ago. I forgave him for that.

But what I can't take is what Derek said to me. I was still thinking about that and how cold he sounded.

Maybe that was the real one night stand. 

"You said you loved me before then, the following day you told me that there was no us. Why?"I asked him. He sighs, "Yes, I said that. But it was probably that I didn't know what to feel after I said those things to you." He explains. "Why say that when you know it's only temporary?"

"I'm not saying that my feelings for you faded after saying that, it was probably the hurt I felt when you didn't want to say it back." Isaac replies. I stare at him. The car was silent for a moment. "You were with Allison quite a few times-"

"Stop. I know what you're going to ask. And the answer is no. I've never had feelings for Allison. Only for you." He now looks at me, lights making half of his face seen. "You still don't look happy. Why?"Isaac asks. "Nothing." I reply, looking away. "This is about Derek isn't it?"

"I don't want to talk about it." My voice quivers. "I'm hearing your heart. Let it out. You can talk to me, Colline. I'm not someone else." Isaac says. I sigh, "There's nothing really to talk about, our relationship was ninety percent sex. I loved it." I wanted to say something else but my eyes were tearing up. "You were going to say something, say it." Isaac says. 

"But I loved him more. And I'm not sure if he even loved me for even a moment." A tear rolled down my cheek as I felt Isaac's eyes on me. "You're asking me to tell this so you can make your move, isn't it?" I told him. His eyes looked directly at me, "I'm asking you to tell this because the last time you were hurt by him, you shut people off when they ask you about it. That's why you lost control. All the feelings were trapped inside and it's affecting your character. And I hate to see you through that pain again." 

"I don't deserve someone like you, Isaac." I told him. "You deserve everything great the universe has to offer, because you're that girl, that girl who settles for less. But yet, deserves the best." Isaac says. And I was touched by this. "But I don't feel the same for you." I replied. "Then I'll wait. I'll wait for years, decades, scores, even centuries if I have to meet you in the afterlife." He says to me. 

We arrived at home, seeing Derek, Aiden and Ethan inside. The air suddenly tensed up when Derek and I made eye contact. "Where's everyone?" Isaac asks. "The oni came, Scott and Melissa went to the hospital because his dad got stabbed." Aiden explains. "Colline, can we please talk?" Derek nears me, but Isaac blocks his way, revealing his werewolf claws. "You've already hurt her, isn't that enough?" Isaac annoyingly says.

"I just want to talk to her." Derek emphasizes the word her. "You have to say to me what you have to say to her." Isaac crosses his arms. "Or there won't be any talking." Isaac adds. Derek sighs annoyingly. "Isaac, it's fine." I told him. "It's just talk." I add, Isaac looks at me for a brief moment and steps away. 

;

"Is it really necessary to go to your loft just to talk?" I ask Derek. "Unless you want people eavesdropping, then let's go back to your house." He says. "No, no. It's fine. Let's talk." I say to him. I sat down on a chair, while he sits right across me. "Look, first of, I just want to say sorry. But you should know I did that for a reason." Derek says. "To protect me, yeah, I know." I told him. 

"I know you're not really in love with me." Derek says, I look at him in shock. The air through my throat hitched. "As much as I love you, I would hate to see you be with someone else. But I can't force you to love me." Derek says. "Derek, I've chosen you and you know that." 

"But it's because of your hate for Isaac." Derek says. "Isaac and I are nothing, he knows that. You know that." My voice quirked. My heart was beating wildly. I don't know why. "But to me you two are something. I can feel it Colline. His love will forever be stronger than mine, and I know some day, you'll learn to love him." 

"Is this really it, Derek? Just because of your prediction you're going to leave me? Leave everything about us? Forget everything?" My eyes were welling up. "It's not that, Colline. you know how Isaac feels about you, and I know how you feel about him." I cut him off, "Derek, I-"

"You know how you feel, you're just afraid. Afraid to be hurt. But you know deep down. what you really feel for him." Derek says. He's not wrong. I tell Isaac that I don't feel the same but I do. And I just won't admit it. Derek's right. "How did you know?" I asked him. Tears now falling from my eyes.

"Because I see the way you look at me, and I've seen the way you look at him. Colline McCall, I will forever love you, but I can't be selfish with you. You're not mine." Derek 's voice sounded like he was about to cry, he neared me and kissed me on my forehead. He left, and I was left alone with my thoughts. 

How the hell am I supposed to tell Isaac how I feel?

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