Your POV I woke up and my head hurt like a bitch. I turn over to give Joker a light punch and ask him for some Advil, but to my surprise, some brunette boy is turned away from me. What the hell have I done? I get up and dizzily walk to the bathroom for a pill and some water. After I gulp the pill down, I sit on the tub and feel my eyes begin to tear up. I know what I did and I knew J would kill me when I told him.
"You stupid girl," I scold myself and hold my head in my hands. When I creep back into the room, I'm relieved to find the boy is gone. I walk around the other end of my bed and see a condom on the floor, at least we were smart enough to use protection. Nothing from last night comes back to me as I pick up my clothing and throw them in the laundry basket. My phone buzzes and it's a text from J.
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"Shit," I mutter and throw on some clothing. A door opens downstairs and I toss the covers and condom under the bed. I stand up quickly just as Joker walks into the room. "J..." I drag out his nickname and pull him into an awkward hug. He uncomfortably pats my back and leans against my dresser.
"What's wrong with you?" He asks and flashes me a grilled smile. I bite my lip, there's no way I can keep this from him.
"Nothin' Puddin. Just happy to see you". He holds my hip and pulls me in for a brief kiss on the forehead.
"You just wake up?" He sits on my bed and I cringe, knowing what he's sitting above and on for that matter
"Mmhmmm". Any moment now I'll burst out crying or laughing, I don't know how I feel anymore. Joker pats his knee and leans back, beckoning for me to sit. I take as long of a time as I can to walk over to him and sit on his lap.
"Are you upset from a nightmare?"
I almost say yes, and I was still in it. "No. Why do you ask?"
"Cause your covers have spontaneously ended up under your bed and you're not yourself". He roughly runs his hands up and down my thighs, keeping eye contact with me. Maybe he was catching on.
"J. I did something really bad". He grins.
"Were you being naughty?" I could tell he thought I was trying to do some role play with him so I shake my head 'no'.
"No. I mean I fucked up," I mumble and he stops moving to lean on his elbows. Now he knew I was being serious, I hardly ever cursed (A/N: unless during sex w/ him. I have no chill).
"What". He said in more of a statement.
"Joker, I- I slept with someone last night. I'm sorr-" I feel a hard slap on my cheek and I tumble off of his lap. He gets up and looks at me with disgust.
"What did you just fucking say?" I hold my face and get up slowly.
"I cheated on you, I'm sorry Puddin," my face burns and I start to cry. He smiles and walks around me.
"Oh, you're sorry Puddin? You're sorry Puddin?" He repeats a few times to mock me.
"J, please".
"Don't call me that! You're a slut, you sad bitch," he growls and I press up against the wall, fearing he'll hit me again. He gets quiet and sits back on the bed, not looking at me. "Why did you do it? Do you hate me or something?"
I kneel in front of him and grip his forearms with my hands. "No. Joker- J, I don't hate you".
He smiles sadly and drops his arms, bringing my hands to his lap. I look up with tears in my eyes as he whispers the most honest words he's said to anyone:
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