In Her Eyes - A Criminal Minds Fiction

Chapter 12: Im Not Hungry

Emily got downstairs to find Shepherd waiting for her with the phone book.
"Wanna order?" He asked. He had called his wife and explained what happened. So he decided to stay over for the night.

"I'm using Jeremy's bedroom tonight, okay?" He said.

"Sure" Emily said. They had always been great friends and Bella loved her uncle. Emily was also glad she wouldn't spend the night alone with Bella, specially after the night they had.

They ordered in and talked about Bella pretty much the whole time. About the eating problem they came to the conclusion that in the morning she would have to eat breakfast, even if it got to the point of making her do it. It was better to play the bad guys now then the good ones when she was in a hospital bed.
They also decided not to force her into going to Jeremy's house. They wanted to work at one thing at a time and the eating was more important. Emily also said she would try to start packing a little with Bella the next day because it was almost Sunday and she was hoping to go to DC on that day. Shepherd said he wished he could help but he would be on call from 11am to 7pm. He had gotten the last couple of days off because of John's death but he was going back.

After all the talking it was almost 10. They said goodnight to each other and went to bed.

"Anything come get me" Shepherd said.

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Emily walked in Isabella's room to find her daughter still awake lost in her thoughts. Emily glanced at Bella's hands and saw her twisting her fingers. She had picked that habit up from Emily.

"Hey" she said approaching the bed. Isabella looked at her and her eyes were full.

"Mommy" she whispered and just cried.

Emily climbed on the bed and pulled Bella to her lap and let Bella cry. All she said was "everything is going to be fine".

.

After a little while Bella calmed down.

"Mom" She called shyly.

"Yes baby" Emily said.

"Can you rock me like yesterday?" She asked trying not to look into Emily's eyes. "Just for a little while" the small girl added fast.

"of course I can" Emily said giving her a sweet smile. She got Bella's blanket which was left perfectly folded on the bed by Penelope, and handed over to Bella.
"Here" she said and Bella put it close to her face.
Emily started rocking her and she did that untill the girl fell asleep. She waited a while before placing Bella down.
For her surprise Isabella didn't wake up.
She got up, got her pajamas and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She turned the shower on to heat up and before getting undressed she sat on the floor and started sobbing. It was all too much.
She locked herself in the bathroom and just cried thinking how she just wanted John to come back and make Bella feel better. She just wanted to make the pain go away.
At the end of her breakdown, she actually had a dry little laugh about the fact that even though Bella was little she deals with her emotions the same way that she does — she does her best to hide them from other people.

She wiped her face and took a shower.
She went back to bed to find Bella fast asleep.
She kissed Bella's cheek and laid down close to her and wished for a better night.

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It was 4:36 when Isabella woke up sweating.
She looked at her mom sleeping. She didn't want to wake her up so she just stayed there staring at the ceiling. She wasn't crying or anything like that.
After a while She got out of bed, taking her blanket, trying not to make a sound. She went downstairs and sat in the living room. She turned the tv on and turned the volume down but loud enough for her to hear it. She looked for something to watch but there was nothing good on so she got up and picked a dvd. 'Matilda' was her choice.