Over Again ( A Kian Lawley / O2L )

Chapter 12 - Missing

Chapter 12

I sit in my car for a while, trying to work up the nerve to walk into the restaurant where so many good memories were made.

What does Kian want to talk about? Does he want to talk about us becoming friends again? Is that what he wants? Because it is way too hard for me to be friends with someone who I am deeply in love with. What makes that so hard is that he has someone else. Yes, I have someone else, too, but I don’t feel as strong for Skylar as I do Kian, not yet at least. Also, it hurts to know that Kian doesn’t love me anymore.

What if he wants to get back together? Would I get back with him? Of course I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, but I couldn’t just leave Skylar. That isn’t fair. I have barely given Skylar a chance and Kian already had his chance. At the same time, will I ever be able to truly love Skylar if I can’t give up the love I have for Kian? I don’t exactly want to forget the love I feel for Kian, but I want to love Skylar. I really do.

What if I am just getting worked up over nothing and really, Kian just wants to rub his girlfriend in my face? What if this whole thing is just to humiliate me? I don’t know if my emotional wall could put up with that kind of force pounding it. The wall would crumble and fall.

I take a few deep breaths. In…out. In…out.

When I finally get my heart rate to slow down from the dangerous rate that it was pounding at, I open the door to my car and step out. I lock my car before climbing out and walking up to the door of Johnny’s. I open the door, feeling calm as I walk through.

I feel amazing and confident until my eyes land on him. Immediately I stop breathing and my heartbeat speeds up to a thousand beats per minute. I feel like I’m about to pass out as I look at him.

When he spots me, he stands up from his seat.

I observe him, noticing every little thing. His skin is slightly darker, his hair is longer. I notice that he got his nose pierced, a nose ring looping through it. He smiles at me and I force my feet to move.

I walk slowly towards where Kian is, my heart beat not slowing down a bit. I breathe raggedly, not really getting much oxygen into my lungs. I stop about five feet away from him, my face blank as I stare at him.

We both stand there, looking at each other without saying a word. He takes in my appearance and I take in his appearance.

My mind is clouded and I don’t know what to think. I feel a wave of happiness first at the fact that I am standing right in front of him after nearly seven months without seeing him in person. Yes, I saw him at the beach, but I didn’t actually see him. Then I feel sadness as memories of Kian flood my mind, most of them from Johnny’s because of the setting we are in. I try not to start crying right there as I remember all of the amazing times we had here.

 

“Oh my god! It’s Kian’s girlfriend, Maddie!” a girl said, coming up to me and asking for a picture. I was flattered and amazed that Kian’s fans actually cared about me. I quickly agreed with her and she took a picture of us together. I followed her on twitter and she literally screamed.

*

“Don’t you dare talk about my girlfriend like that!” Kian defended me, yelling at the douche bag who told Kian he wanted to fuck me brainless. Kian stood up and got extremely close to the boy, seeming as if he is about to punch the guy. I help my smile back because I thought it was sweet that Kian got so mad about it.

*

“I love you,” Kian said in my ear, trying to cheer me up. I was mocking hurt after he had made a joke about me being weird.