Over Again ( A Kian Lawley / O2L )

Chapter 19 - Mess

I try not to allow myself to go back upstairs and yell at Skylar some more. Staying in the lobby of Skylar's apartment building, I wonder if I made the right decision by calling Kian.

Probably not. Honestly, I'm too mad to care about my questionable decision.

When I see Kian's car pull up, I walk out the doors, getting in the passenger seat. He's looking at the building with confusion on his face.

"Why are you here?" He asks me, his eyes flickering to mine before returning to the building.

He looks out the windshield, pressing down on the gas and pulling out of the lot.

"Oh, it's Skylar's apartment building," I reply, staring out the window.

I see him nod out of the corner of my eye. He turns his head towards me so I look at him.

"Did you two break up?" He asks carefully, glancing at me. I shake my head and his eyes fall a little.

"We just had a fight and I don't have my car here," I explain to him before he thinks anything happened.

"Oh. Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, turning on a road leading to my apartment.

"Oh shit will you take me to my car? It's at the mall," I tell him, hoping I'm not being too rude.

“Uh, yeah,” he replies, turning the car around at the closest space where such is possible.

The next few minutes of the car ride are awkwardly silent, but I’d rather it be silent than it be awkward due to the two of talking about our relationship problems.

When he pulls into the mall parking lot, he drives around to the main entrance where we see my car parked in the middle of the lot with only a few other cars in the lot. Since it’s nearly eleven-thirty, there is hardly anyone here.

He parks next to my car, turning to me before I get out.

“Are you okay?” he asks me, sensing the confusion going on with me. I hesitate in answering him.

Am I okay? Have I ever been okay? With everything going on, when have I ever been fine? Honestly, I haven’t been okay in a very long time.

“No, I’m not.” After I finally say this out loud, I understand it myself.

These past few weeks have been hell for me. The last year has been hell for me. Kian and I have been broken up for nearly a year, and I haven’t been the same. I wish that he didn’t have that kind of control over my life like that, but I can’t help it.

When I moved to California, I didn’t expect everything to happen the way it did in the beginning, yet I don’t regret a single bit of it. Meeting Kian and Sam that day on the beach because of their soccer ball, going to the beach party with them, and ultimately falling in love with Kian. Everything that happened led to me being who I am and I don’t regret it.

What I do regret is how easily I let Kian go. Some may think that I fought for him, but I know I should have fought harder.

Stop thinking about him. You two will never be together again.

“What’s wrong, Maddie? You can tell me,” he says, trying to get me to talk to him.

I debate whether I should confess everything I’ve recently come to realize or just keep it to myself.

*****

“Maddie what’s wrong?” Kian asked for about the millionth time that day.

Well, lots of things.

First of all, my monthly friend was visiting for the week so I was overly sensitive to absolutely everything. Second of all, I was dating Kian Lawley who happened to have some not-so-nice fans that loved to hate on me. My emotions were on overdrive and I just couldn’t take it right then.  

“Nothing is wrong Kian,” I said in a tone that completely contrasted my statement.

“Maddie, you know you can tell me anything right? I don’t care what it’s about, I’ll listen,” he told me, pulling me closer to him. A side of me wanted to cuddle into his side but the moody side of me made me turn away. “Really, Maddie. You can tell me anything.”

*****

I think about Kian’s offer for a little longer before answering.

I look over at him.

“No, I don’t,” I answer.

He nods, looking away from me.

“Thanks for the ride,” I say, smiling at him and placing my hand on his. I feel like he’s offended by the fact that I won’t tell him anything. Which is understandable seeing as he poured his heart out to me about his problems and worries. I just can’t bring myself to do the same thing. I feel like I should leave because I caused him to have to come get me and drive me here.

“Anytime, Madison,” he replies, a smile coming to his lips. As I reach for the door handle, he stops me.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” he asks, his eyes connecting with mine.

“I have to go to work, but that’s in the afternoon,” I reply, secretly wishing that he’ll ask to see me tomorrow. I can’t help but want to spend time with him.

“Alright, well I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he says, giving me a smile and releasing my hand. I smile back before opening the door and getting out of his car. As I begin to unlock my car, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around to find Kian behind me. Before I can react, he pulls me in for a tight hug.

It takes me a few seconds, but I respond to his hug, tightening my arms around his waist. I breathe in his scent, the wonderful smell taking over my mind for a few seconds. When he pulls away from the hug, he tells me goodnight before getting back into his car.

I get in my own car, driving to my apartment.

What the hell am I going to do?

Here I am with my boyfriend pissed at me because I won’t have sex with him and I’m still trying to figure out if I even want to be with him anymore. At the same time, my ex-boyfriend is trying to deal with the fact that he got a girl pregnant and his girlfriend broke up with him while I wish that I didn’t still have feelings for him anymore.

My brain is messed up. 

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So I'm thinking about posting my story about Aliens to wattpad but i feel like i should post it to a different account and keep this account strictly fanfiction. also, i want to know if anyone will read it. If you'd read a twisted Alien Revolution romance written by me please let me know in the comments :) 

soo, what do you want to happen?

1.) Kian and Maddie Need to kiss!

2.)Maddie and Skylar need to say together 

3.) I wish Emily wasn't preggo

what do you think of this book as a whole? i feel like I'm finally realizng how i want this to turn out :)

Comment and vote! sorry about the length of this chapter! its all i had time to write with my short attention span. I promise the next chapter will be better!

loveeee you guyssss!

xox -Delilah