Second Chances

22. Waiting

•August•

I woke up outa my sleep again and sighed. I ain't been able to sleep at all. Every time I drift off I would wake up from the same nightmare that was actually reality. I kept on seein' Skye get hit by a truck and ha car flipping off the road.

The whole time I'm just standin' on the side watchin' unable to do anything. Only watch. Takin' a deep breath I ran my hands over my face and rested my elbows on my knees. She been at dis hospital for two days now in a coma.

I keep tellin' myself at least she alive but this ain't dat much betta'. I just need to see those pretty brown eyes and I'll feel somewhat betta'. I already know she ain't gon wanna see me let alone talk to me. I guess I deserve dat though.

I said some fucked up shit to ha right after I told ha I wanted to be wit ha. That probably confused the hell outa ha. But I thought if I just avoid ha den it would be easier for my feelin's to go away.

If I could be wit ha I would but I just got too much shit goin' on right now.

••••

"How long do you think she's gonna be like dis?" Ha mama let go off ha hand and turned to the doctor.

He took a deep breath and slowly shook his head. "It could be a few more days or sometimes years. She hit her head pretty hard in the accident. It's really all up to her though."

I sighed and ran my hand down my face. This is just too much. She was the one thing I said I would neva' let go and I let ha slip through my fingers then this happens.

It's my fault and I know it is. I shouldn't have made ha angry enough to leave. I shouldn't have even let ha walk away from me. We hadn't talked in weeks. I shoulda been tryna fix things not make shit worse.

I stood up and walked out. As soon as I stepped outa the room I was shocked. Derrick was right in front the do'. He looked just as surprised as me. I ain't think I would see him anytime soon.

"Antny!!"

I felt little arms wrap around my legs and squeeze them. It felt good to hea she wasn't upset.

I looked down and smiled at Avy. "Wassup lah mama. How you?"

"I'm ok I just want mommy to finish her nap. She must be really sleepy."

I smiled again and nodded. "She gon be up soon lil bit. Just couple mo' days I bet. But Ima see you lata' I gotta go." I looked up at Derrick and he was glarin' at me like he wanted to say somethin'.

I mugged him and walked off. I ain't gon embarrass him in front of his daughta' like I want to. Ion see how Skye put up wit dat nigga. But then again she got a lot of patience.. most of the time.

That whole thing wit Ashley was ridiculous. She must've did a whole lot if she got Skye to fight ha. Ash always startin' shit knowin' she can't fight to save ha life. I ain't sayin' Skye was right to fight ha though.

The only reason I was annoyed about the fight was cause she pregnant and she might be carryin' my child.

Might.

I'm tryin' so hard to make myself believe that Ashley wouldn't fuck ova' me like that but just like Shaun said, we know how she get down. Ion know what I was thinkin' when I cuffed ha' ass.

That's why we ain't been fuckin' lately. Cause ion wanna be in that if I think every nigga has when she supposed to be my girl. But lemme find out that baby ain't mine. I'm gone and I ain't lookin' back. That's a promise.

I been stopped havin' feelin's for ha as soon as I saw Justine again wit ha strawberry scented curls. I got so much love fa' ha and if she let me Ima give it all ta ha. But knowin ha it's gon take a minute. She stubborn as hell and on top of that she gon most likely still be mad at me.