DISStasteful

No Forgive and Forget

One day some bodies going to love me way more then you ever claimed and at that moment you're going to wish it was your arms I was still in.
...

My chest was heavy. I threw up again for the eighth time today and nothing was adding up to Nathaniel. I still hadn't told him the news and as obvious as it was, he was acting very oblivious. he held my hair up for me as I hacked out some more of the yellow foamy substance. All I wanted to do was lay down but no, I had to be a swollen sick potatoe.

"Damn baby, what did you eat last night?" He questioned me jokingly. I twisted my face at him and hit him in the leg.

"Nate its not fucking funny. The shit hurts." I mumbled. All jokes aside I was way past wanting to kick his throat in but I held back from being violent.

He left me for a day and let me cool down the from the hot temper I held from the other night when he was all up on some groupy bitch.

Nathaniel came back not even two hours ago and watched me hurl up all last weeks food and anything I ate today.

I felt the circular motions his hand were going in on my lower back.

"Stop touching me please. Why are you here?" I spat with out warning. He lifted his arms up in defense and looked at me with a sneaky grin.

"Tell me what your secret is and I'll tell you mine." He stated rather quickly. Only thing that popped in my head was why should I tell him what was going on with me? He seemed to be letting his secret eat his ass alive and destroy his life.

"Please..?" He begged lightly. I shrugged and let his question roll off of my mind. "I'll tell you at lunch this afternoon." I mumbled in a low whisper. We shared a laugh and I got off of the floor beneath me.

His eyes traced my body even when hitting my stomach he did no double take and traveled to my chest then face.

"Stop looking at me you creep." I muttered. His face screwed up and he licked the side of my neck. I laughed breaking the anger I was still lingering on to.

"I'm still mad at you though..." I huffed out as if blowing steam. He darted his eyes in my direction and then walked out the bathroom to prevent another argument.

I got myself together and by the time one o'clock hit we headed out the door. We went to a small waffle house right outside of town. Only about three people were inside and two of which were an older married couple.

The male that sat by himself was probably around our age with light skin and curly hair on his head, he had a nose piercing and his facial features were amazing. I tried not to stair so hard but oddly enough I couldn't help it.

Nathaniel coughed looking in my direction. His teeth were now clenched which meant he caught me in the act.

"Sorry." I mumbled dryly. He smiled faintly and waved his hand in my direction, signaling that I was cool.

We ordered our food and drink then waited while it was being prepared for us. He ordered chicken and waffled. While I on the other hand ordered the unlimited waffles for ten bucks.

"Tell me why you've been acting so weird. Ignoring me, starting in needed fights and why the bitch felt comfy enough to dance on you." I spoke up bluntly. He lifted his eyes from his food, up to me and then back to his food.

"I have something really important to say...BUT!!" He got loud halting his next words. "But, you have to promise you won't get mad."

I looked at him blankly. Like what could he have done to make me get mad? Besides cheat. My head started hurting so I called the waitress over again for some cold water.

"I can't just say I won't get mad. I don't control these damn emotions if the feeling hits home it just does." I said nonchalant. He lifted one eye brow wondering why I was being so hostile.

"Um okay, do you remember when. I slipped up on you with..." He stopped clearing his throat. "With Kiara?" He asked. I nodded my head moving my hands in circular motion to make him continue speaking.

"Well she ended up having a little boy sometime later and she told you he was born three months after she was done having him." He announced.

"Okay what does that shit have to do with me?" I mumbled sick of hearing him breathe.

"He's my son Ana'Leah..." He finally let out. I must have stopped mid bite because my waffle hit the table. I was in complete aw and for the first time in a long the I wanted to stab him again.

"So.." I simply added while fighting back tears. "Your telling me. That you already have a child?" I questioned not sure if I wanted to hear it again. He tried to grab my hand but I snatched away.

"Ye-." Was all he could get out before I punched him square in the face. The tears no longer could be held back and for the most part I knew that lick to his face wouldn't compare to the damage I'd do if we were at home... My home, where WE live... Humph!

I pulled my secret out of my pocket as I unwrapped the tissue from around it. Then I pulled the pictures out next.

"You...sat here.. And begged me.... To..have...your... Child." I sniffles through my words. "Now your telling me when I was going through losing one, you were making one. One you lied about to me for TWO WHOLE YEARS!" I shouted. The older couple had left and three different families were now here not including the male that sat not to far away.

"Baby, listen please ju-." I cut him what off before he could waste his breath. "You are a liar, cheater, phoney and good for nothing ass nigga. You take that house and take care of that child all you want! You begged me to have you first child and it would be a lie. Is a lie!" I said throwing the pregnancy test at him and the ultrasound at him from my kept quiet Doctors appointment.

Followed by those I tossed the engagement ring at him, hitting him square in the fore head. He barely flinched but his eyes wondered across everything thrown at him.

"Baby! Baby!" He yelled to me. I was already at the door leaving. The nearest bus wasn't far away and my heart raced as I rushed to the stop. It wasn't cold but the wind was blowing just enough to send chills down my spine.

The bus came not long after I got there I say five minutes later it pulled up coming to a halt in front of me.

"I called Sapharia to tell her be at the bus station in twenty minutes to pick me up. I just wanted to get some clothes and get out of the house.

She didn't seem to want my help anymore either anyways. They were living two days early and as many times as I got her alone or we exchanged notes she would just brush me off and turning down every solution I had. Evidently she liked where they were even if it meant him harming her.

I pushed all those problems to the side as we finally made it to the station. Sapharia and Marcell were waiting near the entrance to the transfer building to take me home and I was glad.

Thanking the bus driver I got off the bus and walked over to my sister and her master. I was mad as fuck he came with her but at the moment it was good to get out of my own situations.

...

The house was smooth silent when I got inside. I placed the house keys down and went strait to the bedroom. I grabbed a few belongings and clothing to take with me for now and my hygiene stuff too. I was done with Nathaniel that bullshit he was spitting to me all along was fake. Nothing would or could change him.

He was just as selfish as I was and he knew it. Who lies about a child for two years. All that came to play was how he snuck around to take care of this child. I met the little boy he was speaking of once or twice when Kiara bring him to work. His name was Mishon he was two but would be three in a few months.

Thinking about it on both ends only hurt worse and I found my self breaking nearly every dish in that house. I planned on being extra messy and fucking up everything in that bitch but instead I grabbed my house keys and car keys to roll out.

I had to go somewhere he wouldn't think to look for me so I chose the best place yet. Our vacation house out in Florida. He wouldn't want to think I traveled out of town.

Then again. I don't think he uses his head at all.