deranged [sequel to unlovable]

part 4

[vanessa's pov]
"what do you mean you can't tell me!?" caleb shouts.
i knew he wouldn't take it well.. who would?
"do you really want to know.." i mumble.
he walks up close to me and nods.
i close my eyes, "i got shot."
when i open my eyes, i see tears starting to form in his eyes. he is mouthing "no" over and over again. he sits on the couch & puts his head in his hands.
"no, babe, no. don't cry, look at me." i sit next to him and try to get him to look at me.
finally he does & he looks at me with such worry.
"why didn't you tell me?" he whispers.
i shake my head, "i didn't want to worry you."
tears flow begin down my cheeks.
"caleb.. i want to tell you so badly. trust me.. just please, trust me." i beg.
he bites his lip and thinks for a moment.
i don't know what we are but i really don't want to fuck things up.
"i can go, caleb. i'm sorry." i get up from the couch.
he grabs my hand, "no. please.. stay. come cuddle with me."
my heart melts. how could i say no to that?
he resumes vampire diaries and adjusts himself so i can lay next to him.
i wrap my arms around him and lean into his chest.
he makes me so happy.. makes me feel so comfortable.. so safe..
he rubs circles on my back & my body falls under his spell, in a way.
he's like magic.. that's how he makes me feel, too.

---
the sun has just started to peek through the windows. caleb is still sleeping next to me on the couch. i could stay here forever & i want to so badly.. but he doesn't need all of this in his life right now. there's nothing i can say about anything that happened while i was gone and i need to figure all of that out.
i manage to slide out of his arms. i lean over him and kiss him all over. his cheeks, forehead, nose, mouth, neck and then back up to his lips.
i take this moment for what it is.. because who knows when i could get the chance again.
a tear slips down my cheek and i wipe it away immediately.
i then carefully walk past astro who is sleeping soundly on the floor and leave caleb's house.
i get in my car & drive to cody's house.
pulling into his driveway makes my heart sink for some reason.. i really miss caleb.
when i get out of my car & press the lock button, my jeep's horn goes off. fuck.
his front door whips open and he sprints out to greet me. he lifts me in his arms & i wrap my legs around his waist.
he puts me down and kisses my hands, my arms, up my shirt, to my neck, to my cheeks and then he kisses me on the lips.
"i." another kiss. "missed." another kiss. "you." another kiss. "so." another kiss. "much."
i smile, "i missed you too."
he wraps an arm around my waist and walks me inside. i'm careful to keep my sweatshirt in place. we're not having round 2 of the bandage discussion.
you'll never believe the first thing to come out of his damn mouth, "the heat has been on & you'll probably get hot in that sweatshirt."
like-- what? are you kidding? where are the cameras? am i being punk'd?
i nervously laugh, "nah, i'm good. thank you, though."
he walks to his room and motions for me to follow. he pulls one of his panic! at the disco shirts out. my favorite one.
he hands it to me to put on and honestly what do i do now?
"can i have some privacy?" i mumble.
he pouts, "aw, baby. you're getting shy? remember i've seen you naked.. it's okay. don't be ashamed, beautiful."
he runs his thumb across my cheek.
why is he getting on my nerves right now?
"please?" i ask again.
he gives me a quick kiss & nods, leaving the room.
finally. i pull my sweatshirt off & slide his shirt on quickly.
i glance in his mirror & fuck my life.
you can see the top of the bandaging completely. it's not like the scar is going to fade or anything.. might as well get this over with.
when i join him in the living room, i see his eyes instantly dart to the bandage.
he rushes to me and looks me up & down, "oh my gosh! vanessa, what happened!?"
dammit! fucking-- just tell him.
i sigh, "i got shot."
his jaw drops.
"you're kidding." he says.
i let out a fake laugh, "that's funny. you want proof?" i start to pull at the bandage.
"no no no.. just, what the hell happened!? why didn't you text or call? vanessa, i've been so worried." he carefully pulls me in for a hug.
i embrace him & take a deep breathe.
something feels much more different this time.
then i finally come to the conclusion..

my mind & my body misses caleb.

---
[caleb's pov]
when i woke up this morning, she wasn't by my side. i was disappointed at first, but i understand... she just got back.
i miss her already. i miss her in my arms, hearing her beating heart. she's alive & she's safe.
instead of going by cody.. she came to me.
the voices in my head are so loud all of the time.. they remind me of my past & the things that happened..
it's honestly hell but maybe i deserve it.

---
[vanessa's pov]
damien calls me for the first time since i've been home. i'm at cody's and i try to be as quiet as possible, "hi, damien."
"how's being home? still keeping things quiet, i hope." he says.
i sigh, "yes. i need to talk to you, though. i don't know if this is going to work.. i know caleb notices something. i just told him to trust me. this is so difficult."
he groans, "vanessa you just have to keep this from him.. you can't tell him."
i think for a moment. caleb is strong.. really strong.
he's such a good guy & i believe in him.
"what is that mind of yours thinking about?" he says into the phone.
i bite my lip, "damien.. do you happen to have one more spot open?"

---
HAPPY HALLOWEEN(:

not feeling the best right now... but halloween was pretty good for me.

thank you for reading xo

- adrianna