deranged [sequel to unlovable]

part 16

songs :

• 505 - arctic monkeys
• hold my liquor - kanye west
• eyes on fire - blue foundation

_________________
[caleb's pov]
they bring her in this bright room. she is handcuffed to the chair & her head hangs low.
i slam my hands down on the metal table & it shakes the room.
she jumps and looks up at me.
she squints from the light, "caleb..? oh, caleb! i'm so happy to see you. you wouldn't believe-"
"why the fuck didn't you tell me!? you've been so goddamn distant. you killed dylan, janice! he was our friend! what the fuck!?" i yell.
she starts laughing, "like anyone cared that he was living his pathetic life."
i run to her, trying to get a grab on her.
damien grabs me and pulls me back, "hey! hey! enough, caleb. go out to the gym, you're done here."
i storm out of the room, hitting the doorframe on the way out.
vanessa stands in the corner, her thumb on her lip.
the door closes behind me.
"hey, whatcha thinking? are you okay?" i ask.
she looks me in the eyes. her eyes are glassy.
"p-promise me you're not going to leave me again.. i need you, caleb & i never want to lose you.. so if you're going to do it.. do it now." she cries.
my heart breaks.. i hate when she cries.
i pull her into a hug, "i'm not going anywhere, vanessa. i promise."
she cries into my shoulder and i move my hands up and down her back.
i quietly shush her and lead her into the gym.
"just a little longer and you can come home with me. we're okay.. it's okay.." i mumble into her ear.
she nods and holds on to me tighter.
now we have to wait for damien to be finished.

---
damien finds us 20 minutes later.
he sighs, "she wants to talk to you."
personally, i could give less of a fuck about what she had to say right now.
i groan and slowly slide away from vanessa who was holding onto me tightly.
i was comfortable and of course damien had to ruin it. i brush past him & walk into the room with janice.
she sits at the end of the table & this time, her eyes are sad. innocent.
the same eyes i fell in love with. her hands are on the table.. her legs are propped up on the chair.
she looks good.. stop it. stop it, caleb.
"i just wanted to apologize, baby." she whines.
she drags out the end of her words.
fuck her! she got herself into this mess.
i scoff, "yeah right. bye, janice."
i turn around and head for the exit.
"oh, and caleb?" she waits until i turn around, "make sure you tell vanessa how much fun we had.."
memories flash back. i groan and walk out of the room.
i certainly don't need this on top of everything else. my brain is so full right now.. the voices scream at me. they're so loud.
"you hurt her already and you'll just do it again."
"she deserves better than you."
"you don't deserve love. all you do is destroy it."
"you are an asshole."
"just leave her alone."
"let her be happy."
"damien is better for her."
i grab my head and collapse to the floor.

---
[vanessa's pov]
"caleb?" the room is quiet.
he is laying on the ground.
i kneel on the floor, "oh my god!"
i help him up.
"are you okay?" i ask.
"just leave me alone, vanessa. i'm fine." he snaps.
here we go again with the mood switch.
"listen.. something is going on.. but do you want to go back to your place now?" i ask.
we talked about it earlier & that seemed to be the plan? i'm so confused.
he licks his lips, "no, actually."
what is his deal? what the hell? fuck this.
"you know what, caleb? i only try to be there for you.. i care about you.. but you do this. i don't know what i do wrong.. why i'm not good enough.. but i don't deserve this. if you want me.. if you really want me. if you truly love me, you're gonna prove it to me." i explain.
he stares at me, but it's almost as though he's looking straight through me. he's gone cold.
the warmth, the love, the light.. it has left his eyes.
"goodbye, caleb." i whisper.
damien walks in the room & i grab him by the jacket, pulling him back into the other room.
"please.. distract me. i don't want to be here." i mumble, grabbing my head.
"y-yeah. of course. come on, let's go." damien says, grabbing his keys.
i turn around one last time.. waiting for an objection. waiting for caleb to fight for me.. to prove himself to me.
he doesn't. he remains silent in the other room.
i kick one of the chairs and slam my fist into the wall before leaving the warehouse.
fuck this. fuck this throbbing feeling in my chest.. the pain. i hate it.
this whiplash. you want me or you don't.. i'm so confused. i get punished for caring.. punished for loving him.
i'm done with feeling like this. if he wants to fight, he can fight. every day i try to help us.. to make us work.. it blows up in my face.
i'm tired of the fighting.. it's not an equal fight.
we drive in his escalade, lights flying by the car.
"what did i do to deserve this, damien?" i cry out, tears flowing down my cheeks.
"vanessa.. don't cry.. please.. there's a lot you don't know about him & you'll find out soon enough.. but please.. i promise i'll take your mind off of all of this.. we're almost there. you didn't do anything wrong.. you don't deserve this." he says.
i feel his hand rest on top of mine. i smile and wipe my tears away with my free hand.
the voices.. the voices...
"it's all your fault."
"he hates you."
"he never cared about you."
"you just got in the way."
"you'll never be happy."
"you don't deserve love."
i shut my eyes and roll my eyes around inside.
go away go away go away!
i don't want to feel like this anymore.
the pain.. it's awful.
then, the car stops.
everything goes silent.
"we're here, love." damien says, softly.
i get out of the car & walk up to his front door.
he walks briskly to the door & unlocks it.
when he opens it, i'm greeted by the familiar scent of his home.
i take a deep breathe & feel my muscles relax.
you're okay, vanessa.. the storm will pass.
you just need to accept what's going on.
i feel damien's hands on my shoulders.
he slowly pulls on the sleeves of my leather jacket.
the cooler air hits my skin as he takes it off.
"do you want me to take your mind off of all of this?" he roughly whispers.
his voice sends a chill down my spine. i shake my head yes.
his lips connect to my neck and he leaves kisses up and down my neck.
he then disconnects & turns me around, looking into my eyes. his gaze is mesmerizing.. those icy eyes. i bite on my lip.
my hair is tied into a bun & some strands have fallen from it, so he tucks them behind my ear.
a small smile appears on his face, "you are so beautiful, vanessa."
i feel myself blush as he presses his lips against mine. a fire ignites within my heart.. i feel it spread throughout my body.
he lifts me up slightly & i wrap my legs around his waist. his hands run across my neck, down my shoulders and then across my back.
our tongues swirl together as we move.
he smiles into the kiss and lays me down on the couch.
he pulls away to take off his shirt.
he then pulls off my tank top, revealing my black lace bra.
"damn." he whispers.
he leans down and leaves kisses across my chest.
i grin and lean back in the leather couch.
all my mind can think about is his lips & the way his fingers move across my body.
he pulls at the waistband of my leggings which slide off with ease.
he makes everything look and feel so simple, so easy.. but so hot.
his eyes scan over my body as his fingers trace my inner thigh.
"do you want this, vanessa?" he teases.
i gasp, "please.."
he smirks...

and we lose ourselves.

-------
y'all trust me, i WANT TO WRITE A SEX SCENE IN DETAIL...

i think i might-- at least once in this story.
i really want to? i pray my parents or family who like my writing never find this lmao

if they're already reading.. hey! your daughter/niece/cousin is not a little clean angel! sorry! lol!

i MIGHT update tomorrow in the car.. tomorrow is the 1975. i keep getting writers block :'( we'll see.

i need some inspirationnnnn lol

thank you for reading! xo

- adrianna