deranged [sequel to unlovable]

part 18

songs :

• the 1975 - the 1975
• bleed - deadmau5
• bleeding love - leona lewis
• something to believe in - young the giant

__________________
[vanessa's pov]
"it's 11:58." damien whispers, his fingers intertwining with mine.
i breathe in his cologne & lean into his chest.
i smile, "thank you.. for doing this."
"you don't have to thank me.. i wanted to be here." he pushes my hair out of my face & runs his fingertips across my cheek.
"i feel like i don't deserve you.. you're so good to me.. so understanding.. so patient. of course i'm going to thank you." i say, quietly.
my mother is still at work & the apartment is quiet.
i look up at him, "i'm going to be a legal adult.. i finally get to make decisions for myself & do things on my own."
he bites his lip, "for your first decision.. i thought i'd ask if you wanted to move in with me? that sounds like-- super crazy & big.. but that house is huge just for me.. plus, i can save you gas if you ride with me to work. i just thought i'd suggest it."
i think about it for a moment. all those rooms, all that space.. the money i'd save? plus, i'd get to know him more.
what honestly could go wrong? my mom wouldn't really have a problem either.. she already has taken a liking to him.
"yeah.. i would love that." i grin, leaning up and kissing him.
he breaks away for a moment to check the time.
i glance down at his phone.
12:00AM.
"happy birthday, vanessa." he says.
happy birthday to me, indeed.

-----
it's dark. i spin around, "hello?"
it's freezing.. and it smells like iron.
then, in the darkness.. i see an outline of a person laying on the ground... but not just any person.
it's him, i know it is.
i'm walking in a thin layer of liquid.. water. water is everywhere.
"caleb?" i ask, kneeling next to him.
he lays, motionless. i rest a hand on his shoulder but he doesn't respond to my touch.
he's laying on his side, facing the opposite direction. i softly tug on his shoulder & he falls back to face upwards.
his eyes are open as blood flows out from them. blood also flows from his mouth.
he coughs, blood splatters everywhere.
no no no no no no.
"i-i'm so sorry, vanessa." he croaks, blood flowing from his mouth.
i shake my head no repeatedly & hold his head up.
tears are flowing down my face.
"somebody help!" i call out to the darkness.
he places a bloody hand on my cheek, "i love you."
i watch as the life leaves his eyes.
a light appears above us.. just like the ones from the warehouse. it casts over us.
everything is so empty.. i feel so empty.
my tears blur everything as i cry into his chest.
i continue to hold him in my arms, hurting over everything that has happened.
we broke up.. i never wanted him out of my life.
he apologized.. he's sorry? he cares..
my heart has shattered within my chest.
his lifeless body remains in my arms.
i use my sleeve to dry my tears and i look around once again.
then, i realize. i'm kneeling in liquid.. but it's not water like i thought.
it's thicker.. it's blood.
all of this is.. his blood? oh my god. no no no.
i look down at my lost love & tears rush down my cheeks again.
he's gone.
i'm so beyond hurt.. & i let out a blood-curdling scream.

i push myself off the bed and onto the floor. i hear the ending of my scream and feel all of the hot tears pouring down my face.
he's gone? he's really gone? it's all over?
it feels like i've gotten shot in the chest all over again.
"hey, hey.. come here." damien's voice echoes through my head.
his hands reach down & pull me back onto the bed.
he holds me tight as tears continue to pour from my eyes.
"it's a-all m-my fault, damien." i cry out.
he shakes his head, "no. nothing is your fault, vanessa. i got you.. it's okay. take deep breathes."
he kisses the side of my head & runs his hand over my hair.
i inhale & exhale to the sound of his breathing.
the moonlight shines through my window.
it's really relaxing & quite beautiful.
i wipe my tears with my sleeve and look up at damien. i can make out some of his features from the moonlight.
the small amount of light reflects off his icy eyes.
"i'm so lucky. thank you so much." i whisper.
he smiles and leans down, giving me a quick kiss before holding me in his arms again.
i continue to take deep breathes and avoid thinking about caleb or the awful nightmare i just had.

--------
"party starts in an hour." my mom says from the doorway.
i nod & brush my hair out in my vanity mirror.
she walks in my room and sets a dress on my bed.
it's black with a cutout in the back.
it's exactly my style & i'm so in love with it.
i smile, "mom!"
"just thought you might like something new to wear to this." she laughs.
"thank you so much!" i grab the dress from my bed & hold it up.
my mom walks out of the room to give me privacy.
i strip down & slide the dress on.
it fits perfectly. it hugs my hips & gives a perfect outline of my body.
i look in the mirror & i look pretty damn amazing.
"it's amazing, mom!" i yell.
she walks back in the room & claps her hands.
"yes! it's perfect. you look so gorgeous, honey." she grins.
i rush to the bathroom to apply my makeup.
i'm thinking mascara, eyeliner & a nude lipstick.
as i apply each, i am satisfied.
my eyes scan over my face when i finish.. the makeup compliments my outfit.
i rush to my closet & grab my heeled boots that are identical to my lipstick color.
i slide them on & look at myself in my full-length mirror.
i'm hella proud of what i've put together.
i look amazing, i must admit.
my mom appears in the doorway, "oh my god.. you look so beautiful."
i blush & grab my purse from my bed.
"you ready?" she double checks.
i grin, "yep."

------------
i press down on the doorbell. moments later, damien opens the door to reveal his house filled with people.
old friends, newer friends.. some coworkers, my family.. i'm in shock.
my mom walks past me into the house.
damien's eyes trail over my body & then back up to my face.
as i step in, he leans close to me.
he licks his lips, "you look goddamn amazing, vanessa.."
"thanks." i blush & give him a quick kiss.
he shuts the door behind me as i walk further into the house.
immediately i have friends & family greeting me.
i however find myself becoming distracted by the pair of eyes that i'm most connected to.
in the living room. caleb.

he sets down his glass on the table & walks towards me. my heart rate increases.

this will be interesting.

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heyoooooo i'm stressed asab lol

hope everyone had a great day(:

thanks for reading! xo

- adrianna