deranged [sequel to unlovable]

part 20

songs :

• dna - lia marie johnson
• wait - nf
• drowning. - eden project

---------------------------
[damien's pov]
she stirs in my arms as the morning approaches. i run my fingers along her bare back and hum quietly.
the sun peeks through the window creating an orange glow.
she breathes softly & deeply in my arms, our body heat keeping us warm.
last night was nothing short from amazing.. she's amazing.
suddenly she jolts in my arm & tears begin to pour down her face.
she's sobbing! why is she sobbing?
nightmare?
i rub her arm, "hey.. hey.. babe."
she opens her eyes and sits up in bed, pulling the blankets with her and gripping onto them.
"i'm not okay." she whispers.
what?
i rub her back, "hey.. it's okay.. it's okay."
she continues to cry and my heart breaks. she deserves to be happy.. i wish her brain wouldn't give her such a hard time.
"i have to go to work, love.. i want you to stay at home today. get some rest & i promise i'll be back soon." i tell her, kissing her on the cheek.
she cracks a weak smile before laying down again.
i walk to my closet & slide on fresh clothes.
i hear her sniffling & i wish that i could just stay home with her.
my heart sinks, "oh no.. is it because of last night?"
"no.. no.. i p-promise." she says, weakly.
i sit next to her on the bed & run my hand over her hair. she hums under my touch in approval.
i proceed to wipe her tears away.. her eyes aren't glowing. she's not herself.
"i'll be back in a little bit." i mumble before walking to the door.
she clears her throat, "damien?"
i turn around.
"thank you." she says with a small smile.
i nod and head out the door.
my history is long & it's not the brightest.. i don't want her caught up in it.
when i walk in the warehouse, caleb looks up at me in confusion.
"where's vanessa? is she okay?" he asks.
i sigh, "she's having a rough morning.. she's not coming into work today."
"do you not make her happy either?" he says.
what the fuck?
i smack him on the back of the head.
"what the fuck was that for!?" he yells.
i furrow my eyebrows, "for being an uneducated twat. you really think this is because i don't make her happy? depression doesn't disappear, caleb.. no matter how much you want them to be okay and happy all the time.. one person can't accomplish that. that's fucked up for you to believe that."
he remains silent.
that's what i fucking thought.
"i have a feeling this has to do with you in some way.. you hurt her so bad, caleb. i'm not very fond of you, hence why i haven't sent you on any jobs by yourself. i'm taking the rest of the day off, though.. so you can complete this job in this file & call jack if you need help transferring them to the bosses." i slide the file on the table.
i then turn and walk to the door.
"what are you two, anyways?" he asks.
i turn around, "i'm not forcing her to label it anything quite yet.. she needs some time. however, she's moving in with me."
his eyes narrow as he looks at me with pure anger.
"she's what?" he growls.
i smile, "she's moving in with me."
he spins around and smashes his fist into the mirror, glass falling to the ground.
he storms out of the room.
too fucking bad.

--------------------------
[vanessa's pov]
today is dark. today hurts. i'm a mess.
i don't know why my brain is treating me like this.. i keep contemplating suicide & all of that bullshit.
i hate feeling this weak.. i hate feeling this way.
i get out of the uber that i called and walk up to my apartment.
i didn't want to inconvenience damien & to be honest, it probably wouldn't be best to see him right now.
i'm moving in with him.. might as well come here while it's normal.
my mom is luckily home.. strange.
i unlock the door & walk inside, my cat meows loudly.
"hi!" i laugh, scooping her up in my arms.
she rubs her face against mine and purrs wildly.
"honey, it's so good to see you!" my mom calls out.
i set my cat down and walk to the living room where she sits on the couch.
i sit next to her, "yeah, thought i'd do some stuff here.. i actually have something to tell you, mom."
"what, sweetie?" she says, a small smile on her face.
i take a deep breathe, "i'm moving in with damien."
her jaw drops for a moment but it's quickly replaced with a grin, "honey.. i'm so happy for you. it's a lovely place & he's a really good guy."
"thanks, mom." i say, pulling her in for a hug.
it's good to see her & talk to her.. but i know what i need to do.
i excuse myself and let my mom know that i'll be back in a bit..
i then get in my jeep & drive to the familiar house.. with the familiar vehicle in the driveway.
i walk up to the front porch & ring the doorbell.
i wait for a moment and the door swings open.
he blinks rapidly, "vanessa?"
"hi, cody.." i mumble.

----------
[caleb's pov]
moving in!? she's moving in with him!? are you serious? no way.
i pull into the restaurant where my job is taking place.. it's a man in his late twenties.
he killed 4 people.. i'm supposed to keep him alive.
i wait for him to get off work as i sit in the parking lot. it's cold.
finally, he walks out the back door, his phone pressed against his ear.
i step out of my car and carefully aim my gun.
the sound of the safety on my gun turning off makes him glance up to me.
he quickly draws his gun & shoots. i hear the bullet whiz by me.
i shoot my gun as fast as possible & it hits him in the leg. he falls to the snowy ground as blood begins to rush from the area.
i kick him in the face & handcuff him.
"fuck you." he spits.
"i don't swing that way, thanks though." i reply, pulling him up from the ground and taking him to my car.

-------------
[vanessa's pov]
"how have you been?" i ask him as we take sips of our baja blast freezes.
"do you want me to be honest?" he looks at me.
i nod my head.
"i miss you.. i miss you so much. i understand why you did what you did.. but i miss you." he mumbles.
i take a deep breathe, "i'm really sorry.. cody."
"it's okay.. i want to show you something, though." he says, pulling up his sweatshirt sleeve.
a black outline of a butterfly is revealed.. it's absolutely beautiful.
"oh my gosh.. that's so beautiful, cody." i whisper, my fingertips brushing across it.
he smiles, "vanessa means butterfly in greek.."
oh my god.
"oh my gosh.. i don't even know what to say.."
he laughs, "you don't have to say anything. i wanted to get that as a reminder of a really amazing part of my life. you mean the world to me.. and i wanted a permanent reminder."
i lean over the console and pull him into my arms.. and it feels so right. so okay..
i miss all of our conversations & i miss how close we are. he knows me better than anyone.. and i wouldn't trade that for anything.
when cody drives back into his driveway, i thank him for everything & give him an extra long hug.
i should keep better contact with him..
he waves from the porch as i drive away.
i blast music in my jeep, trying to distract my brain.
when i pull into the lot to my apartment, my mom's car is gone.
as soon as i get inside, i rip my shirt off.. i feel suffocated in it.
do i do everything wrong?
i walk to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror.
not beautiful enough.
i break into sobs and run the faucet, splashing water on my face.
any attempt to get me to stop feeling this.
self-harming is not the answer.
i need to start packing for the move.. and fast.
caleb did something to my brain & he fucked with me hard.
i don't know what's wrong with me.. the depression & anxiety is normal.. but the attachment?
that's not normal for me.
i splash my face with the water some more.
you have damien.
the tears stop flowing almost in an instant..
i pat my face dry with a towel and walk back to my room. boxes are folded against the wall in my closet from the last move.
i grab the packing tape from my desk & begin to form the boxes.
i'm going to pack all night if i have to... i know one thing for sure..

i'm going to move in with damien tomorrow.

---------------
yo can i have damien as a roommate thanks

also is any1 ready for the next chapter because fucking hell :')))))

today is v odd for me ?? sorry i haven't updated.. i've had some pretty bad writers' block.

DROWNING. BY EDEN PROJECT IS SUCH A GOOD SONG OKAY

thanks for reading! xo

- adrianna