deranged [sequel to unlovable]

part 19

songs :

• still falling for you - ellie goulding
• give me your hand - the ready set
• pacify her - melanie martinez
• do i wanna know? - arctic monkeys

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[vanessa's pov]
his eyes are twinkling as he approaches me, like the starry skies we once watched together.
"hey, guys.. thank you so much for coming. i'll see you in a minute." i say to the crowd around me.
they eventually walk to the living room & kitchen, leaving caleb & i alone together.
be a hard headed bitch, vanessa. he hurt you, he left you.. he confused you.. possibly even used you.
you're over him. you're done. you're fine.
"hello, vanessa. you look beautiful.. i mean, you always do.. but like, wow.." he compliments.
i smile, "thanks, caleb."
damien is nowhere to be seen.. probably helping out with the party.
he extends his hand, "may i have this dance?"
oh, what the hell. it's my birthday.
i smile & place my hand in his. he grins and leads me to the dance floor they arranged in this big house.
i go to place my hands around his neck, the casual dancing pose.
he has a different idea, as he moves opposite of me.
we place our hands in the air and walk opposite of each other, like we're practicing for some grand ballroom dancing or something.
i laugh as he spins me around. he pulls me close and our bodies are instantly pressed together.
i can feel his heartbeat.. our heartbeats.
the upbeat music fades out to nothing.. all i can see is him. all i can feel is him.
the warmth of his touch on my waist and his fingers intertwined with mine.
i look into his eyes and drown in them.. they're bright. they're alive.
he doesn't love you like you love him-- shut the fuck up, brain.
i somehow quiet all the voices in my mind. i don't care about any of it right now.
he looks so great. he really does.. i have to admit it.
i snap back to reality. the music is fading out.
i'm not quite sure how long we've been staring into each other's eyes, how long he's been holding me like this...
it felt like sparks were going off in my soul, like the butterflies in my stomach turned into an entire zoo... it hurts, but it hurts so good.
i blink rapidly. do i still want to be with him?
i can't.. i can't. that's out of the cards for us.. and too much has happened.
i take a deep breathe & smile.
"thank you for coming, caleb." i say, releasing myself from him & walking to the kitchen.
my mind wanders & asks if maybe, just maybe.. he felt a connection, too.
right now, i want damien.
i walk into the kitchen & look around.. he has to be in here.
sure enough, he serves drinks to the adults & shakes their hands.
most of them are part of my family so it makes me happy that they're getting along well.
damien sees me in the doorway, "ah! there's the birthday girl."
he smiles and walks to me, kissing me quick before turning back to my family.
"it's good to see you so happy, vanessa." my aunt says to me.
my mind makes me flash back to my depression & my anxiety.. the person i had become & the person my family had to witness.
"thank you.. it feels good.." i smile.
my uncle takes a sip of his beer, "are you enjoying the party?"
"yeah, i love it. it's odd not taking pictures like i usually do.. but i'm so shocked by everyone who showed up.. and the party is lovely. thank you." i say, looking up at damien who is smiling down at me.
then, from the other room i can hear "give me your hand" by the ready set fading in.
one of my favorite songs.. ever.
"damien! please dance with me?" i beg, pulling him with me.
he chuckles, "of course, love."
he looks so handsome in his dress shirt. he's gotten pretty spiffed up.
his hair is slightly gelled, giving his hair a darker appearance. his icy eyes are glowing as always.
i admire his prominent features & his physique.
he is honestly beautiful.. a beautiful, hot, handsome & stunning human being.
not to mention his heart is so kind, so pure.
on the outside he can be intimidating but don't let that fool you, he's so amazing.
i'm lucky to have him in my life.
the music is loud, just the way i love it.
just us, dancing together.
"ready?" damien calls out, spinning me around.
i feel my cheeks begin to ache from smiling so much as the lights glow upon us.
the chorus approaches and damien pulls me close.
"give me your hand!" we shout.
we start jumping together & it makes me so happy to see this fun side coming out of him.
he's so expressive tonight, i adore his smile because it's more of a rare sight.
when he smiles, it's an instant reflex to smile, too.
he has perfect, white teeth & perfect cheekbones.
i'm so happy, i really am.
as the song ends, i watch as jack walks towards damien. really? now?
it looks like they need to talk.. so i let him go.
he mouths that he's sorry as they walk away together.
i'm in the mood to get some of my emotions out on this dance floor.
i walk up to the dj & ask him if he could play "pacify her" by melanie martinez.
it's such an amazing song & it's quite fitting for everything going on.
many people have started conversations in the corner or went to the kitchen for snacks and beverages.
this is my party, might as well enjoy it.
the song begins & i feel myself instantly connect to it. it's loud & it's so perfect...
caleb is here somewhere.. i'm not sure where he went. he could have left.. maybe?
"someone told me stay away from things that aren't yours.. but was he yours if he wanted me so bad?" i sing along.
my dress is super cute & it fits me really well.. i'm just in love with the way i'm feeling & the way i look.
i continue to sway to the music.
then, i watch as caleb quickly comes into view.
he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me close.. the connection has been rekindled.
"you don't love her.. stop lying with those words." i continue to sing along, looking into his eyes.
he licks his lips as i move slightly against his body.
do it. be savage.
it's like i have an evil conscience.. and i decide to listen.
i turn around and bend down slightly, pressing myself against him. he keeps his hands on my waist and keeps a firm grip.
if he's not into you.. he wouldn't care, would he?
i stand back up and turn back to him, "so boy just love me down.. down.. down.."
i slowly move down along with the lyrics, stopping by his belt.
he tenses up & stares down at me, biting his lip.
i stand back up and lean close to his ear, "this is a really fun party, don't you think?"
he nods & doesn't break his gaze.
the song ends and "fade" by kanye west plays next.
people begin to come back from the kitchen and snap out of their conversations.
a crowd begins to form on the dance floor and i seperate from caleb, a smile on my face.
yeah, it feels good to rub it in a little deeper.. show him what he's missing.
damien has helped so much with this party & after we dance for a bit longer, i begin to say goodbye to people as it gets later and later.
caleb is the last to leave. i hug him, breathing him in before letting go.
"thank you for coming.. i'll see you tomorrow, caleb." i say with a smile.
it is hard to see him go all the time.. there always is a pang in my heart.
if he wants to be back in my life.. he's going to have to prove it to me.
"pleasure was all mine, vanessa. happy birthday." he winks before leaving.
i shut the door behind him & immediately feel myself getting pushed up against the door.
the door is cold against my bare skin & the thin material of my dress.
strong hands turn me around. it's damien, i instantly know it. i know his touch & his cologne. his icy eyes now glow with lust.
"got any plans now that you're 18?" he asks with a slight smirk on his face.
"i mean.. now that it's legal.. you could fuck me if you wanted." i casually suggest.
he lifts me up against the door & i wrap my legs around his waist.
he smiles, "thank god.. i've wanted to get you out of that dress of yours."
his house is empty & slightly messy from the party. fuck.. i'll help him clean up tomorrow.
all i can think about is him right now.. all i want is him. he lowers me to the ground. we both slide off our shoes & rush up the stairs together.
he pushes me against another wall and unbuttons the back of my dress.
he pulls it down instantly & the cold air hits my bare skin. i'm wearing a baby pink bra & underwear set from victoria's secret.
i step out of it and pull him into his room.
i grab the front of his shirt and rip it open, the buttons releasing the material. his toned torso is revealed from underneath.
i crawl onto his bed & i feel his eyes on me.
he unhooks his belt & crawls onto the bed with me. he hovers over me & connects our lips again.
there's a fire igniting between us, i can feel it.
it hurts.. but it hurts so good.. so crazy good.
his lips leave mine as they trail down my chest, down to the bottom of my stomach.
i lean into his lips, aching for more.. more contact.. more of him.
he reaches up & unhooks my bra in one stroke, throwing it to the side.
he leaves kisses over both of my breasts & pleasure instantly rushes over my entire body.
his hands continue to trail down my body and tug at the material of my panties.
he slides them down my legs and whips them to the side. he licks his lips & strips the rest of his clothing.
"happy birthday, babe." he says before overwhelming my body with pleasure.

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I WENT A LITTLE FURTHER GUYS I'M PROUD OF MYSELF!!!!! i hope it's okay..

i feel like i changed it up a little this chapter haha

hi if ur my family & reading this lol i'm naughty k

i did get horny while writing this because uM IAN SOMERHALDER IS WHO I PORTRAY AS DAMIEN SO UM I AM DEAD lmfao

yO YO YO today sucked ass lmao but yanno it's okay you just gotta push through it sometimes.

hope everyone had a good day.

thank you for reading!! xo

- adrianna