deranged [sequel to unlovable]

part 35

song :
cry - james blunt
___________
i sit nervously in the waiting room, my head resting on damien's shoulder. he rests one hand on my thigh and the other holds my hand.
he feels my shakiness and runs his thumb across the back of my hand in attempts to calm my nerves.
this past day has been nothing but stress and anxiety.. this is not good for my health.
i passed out in damien's arms and he took me home to rest.. but when i woke up, i insisted on coming here to wait for the verdict.
"damien?" a nurse calls out.
the both of us stand up and rush towards her.
she reads off her clipboard, "hello, you're friends of caleb.. correct?"
"yes." we answer.
"since no family members are present, we can disclose some information to you. caleb suffered a lot of trauma from the bullet wound but he's alive. he may be in a coma, we're not quite sure yet." she informs us.
i let out a breathe. he's alive. caleb is alive.
"when can we see him?" i ask, holding onto damien's hand.
she looks down at her clipboard again, "it says here that all three of you work for a top secret facility under the government?"
"that is correct." damien answers.
she lowers the clipboard, "look.. you're not supposed to visit because you're not family.. but i'll make you a deal. if the doctor asks, you're family. you can visit him as long as you promise to go home after. get some rest, go to work. i'll let you visit again on friday because i'll be working. deal?"
"deal." i answer, following the woman as she takes us to his room.
her short brown hair & alice in wonderland scrubs are actually quite comforting.
she smiles, "he's right in there."
when we get up to the door, i can hear the beeping from his heart monitor. slow & steady.
i feel a tear fall down my cheek as i remember all those times we laid in bed together.
our heartbeats would sync up at times and it was a magical feeling. this isn't magical.
the air is cold in his room, probably to keep his body temperature in a good place.
we slowly walk in together and as soon as i see him, i break down in tears.
he does not deserve to be in that bed.. i'd rather be in his place.
he deserves to be happy, to be out living his life. he didn't deserve this.
damien rubs my back as we stand in front of his bed.
i see gauze peek out from under his hospital gown.
this is all my fault.
i told him to go in.. i did. this is my fault.
i walk away from damien to sit next to caleb.
"h-hi.. i'm so sorry. i can't even tell you how sorry i am. please.. please come back to us. we need you here." i cry, holding onto one of his hands.
he remains quiet & motionless. his eyes are shut as he breathes in oxygen through the tubes in his nose.
"i need you here." i whisper, quiet enough for only him to hear.
his hand is limp in mine and i want to sob just thinking about how it felt when we held hands before.
warmth. life. i took it for granted. i took him for granted.
i blink away my hot tears as he lays in front of me. i wish i could just talk to him. i wish he could wake up.
i miss his voice, his smile.. his laugh.
"you better come back, caleb." i mumble, wiping under my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater.
damien taps caleb's shin, "we love you, man. need you on the team."
i stand up and walk back by damien.
we say goodbye to caleb as he lays motionless with his eyes shut in bed.
damien wraps an arm around me and walks with me out of the hospital.

fucking hell.

come back, caleb.

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short ass chapter i know i'm sorry!! lots of writing that i've been doing lately.. been trying to keep up!

only 4 more chapters and an epilogue until the end! there most likely will not be a third book unless i receive requests to do so. if that were to happen, it would not be posted for a while. for now, the plan is for this book to be the end of the series.

thank you so much for reading.

xo
- adrianna