☆Sidemen Imagines and Preferences☆

#43• Cal Imagine

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Requested:  brooke_penguin

Theme: Sad, stressed

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, anxiety, hate comments

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Brooke's POV.

Gosh why are the days so short?

I've been working my butt off the entire day, recording many videos for my channels and I need to get a head of them. There is just so many things that I need to do still but there wasn't enough time.

I rubbed my tired grey blue eyes from underneath my glasses. My long wavy ombre hair was braided and out off my face as I multitasked recording and editing videos trying to get them done.

I felt massive waves of anxiety wash over me everytime I looked at the time. I was wearing my SDMN shirt and sweatpants. I hate being so stressed, I felt like pulling my hairs out and to start screaming.

The videos that I have to make are just the tip of the iceberg of what's adding to the stressed. Dating Calfreezy is amazing but the hate had gone wild lately. 

Everyday and night whenever I woke up, whenever I looked at my friends, whenever I went out I got hate. I hated it. I hated living like this.  I feel everything just start spilling out of me including the wet stressed tears.

I couldn't take it anymore. If I'm being honest all I wanted to do was jump off a bridge or hang myself with a rope or anything,  I just wanted to end my life.

People say it's easy being a YouTuber but it really isn't and at times it can get very stressful.  I sat at the computer when I started full on crying.

I didn't want to continue with life anymore. All of a sudden Cal, my boyfriend walked through the door smiling to himself. His frown soon appeared when he saw me. His girlfriend crying her eyes out at the computer, the worst he's ever seen of me.

My anxiety seemed to be getting worse and I wanted to breath but I could barely get enough oxygen in me since I was panicking. He threw his stuff down and rushed over to me.

He was wearing his black sweatpants with a Sidemen jumper with white converse shoes. He rested his hands on my shoulders forcing me to look at him. 

"Brooke, what's wrong?! He said sounding very worried, wiping away a few of my tears from my face that was slowly calming down. 

"Tell me what's happening." He said sounding worried. When I didn't answer he suddenly picked me up off of the chair at my computer and gently sat me on our bed.

My mind was in a completely different place, far far away and it was very dark. Cal looked at me and quietly asked again.

Do I tell him?

I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath to control my breathing.  I faced him and tried to keep my voice steady when I spoke and prayed it wouldn't break on me.

"I'm just feeling stressed out Cal. There is so so many videos that I have to do and there aren't enough hours in a day to do them all..." I rant out then I continue before he could say anything.

"and not to mention that massive amounts of hate I've been getting. It's just tearing me apart, there is so much. What am I doing wrong?" I croak out as I fall back into the tears again. Cal seemed to have a few tears slipping from his eyes.

"Brooke, you are perfect to me, I don't care what everyone else says. Don't listen to them because they don't know you like I do. I know the real you and the real you is perfect to me." Cal said looking deeply into my eyes.

I nodding feeling myself becoming a little bit lighter already, as if a small weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

"Thank you Cal, it means a lot," I said hugging him tightly. He returned the hug and then kissed my cheek.

"I'm not done yet, I'm going to do something but I will have to go, will you be okay staying here?" He says concerned but he's got a plan. I nod letting him go.

He walks out of the room giving me one last kiss. I sigh and sit back down in my chair to see the work I still have to do and the anxiety comes crawling back slightly. I started editing one of my videos for my main channel and I was half way done when I get a notification.

I look at it and see that Cal has posted a new video. I furrow my eyebrows. Was that what he was doing? I curiously click on it and it's titled-

Leave her alone

I play the video and Cal is in his room and he doesn't look very happy, you could tell it's a serious video. 

"Hello Everybody it's Cal and today I need to talk to you guys about something serious..."

"...everyone knows about my girlfriend Brooke who I am madly in love with and you need to know that she is, she's not feeling great, at all..." He croaks and clears his throat as if he's going to cry.

People were already commenting about him nearly crying and were worried.

"She is the hardest working person ever and deserves to be treated the way she treats you guys. Brooke's been receiving mountain loads of hate, and it hurts me to see her in pain." He says to the camera.

The video went for a whole 20 minutes and I watched all of it and cried of happiness at his beautiful honest words about me and what people were commenting. They were commenting very nice things and had started a 'We love you Brooke' trend on twitter.

Cal walked in smiling and so was I. I jumped up and hugged him tightly and couldn't thank him enough. He's the best boyfriend I could ever ask for.

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There you go I hoped you liked it xx

Published 9.12.16
Edited 16.9.17