Best Friend's Brother

27.

//Jacob//

I  watched as Jamiah walked up her driveway and into the house. When I made sure that she made it safely I shifted the gear into drive and sped away.

I made it home minutes later and was soon slowly trailing down the hallway of my house. I passed by bella's open door and saw her sound asleep in bed.

I could tell from standing all the way by her door how depressed she was, all because of me.

The next room I passed was Noah's. His room was cluttered with all of his toys.

I noticed a paper taped on the head board of his bed. Out of curiosity I inch closer to his bed and observe the drawing on the paper.

In his scraggly handwriting it was written at the top 'I wish my brother could not get angry anymore'.

The drawing showed a little boy cowarded in the corner. It seemed that he was looking at a much taller figure with a black afro. Me. The figure had his fist raised and looking angrily down at a girl on the floor surrounded by a red puddle, which was probably blood. I could tell that the girl on the floor was Bella.

Was this really all I was known for?

I set the picture down and go back to the hallway. The room across from his was my mother's. She was gone at work but something told me to go in there.

I did so.

I looked around at all of the pictures she had of me when I was younger. I was so innocent and she was so young when she had me. Only 18.

On her dresser I noticed a small platter made from clay. In sloppy red paint it red 'I love you mom. Happy mother's day. From Jacob '

"Wow she still has this." I shake my head at the ancient memory. It was actually father's day when we made these in school but she was my father my entire childhood.

Sticking out underneath a pile of clothes I saw something shiny. I set the platter down and reached for the object. Once I felt the long neck I knew exactly what this was.

I pulled it from underneath the pile revealing the bottle of liquor.

I can hear Jamiah in my ear telling me this wasn't the answer. I push her voice to the back of my head, Jamiah doesn't know anything about my problems.

True enough we both lost our fathers but her family isn't fucked up like mine, she isn't fucked up like me. She's perfect, too perfect for me. I don't deserve her.

I twist the top off and raise the bottle up to my lips without a regret. I needed to forget everything right now. I needed to escape.

//Jamiah//

Once I was inside my house I looked around unsure of what to do. I finally decided I would clean the house.

My mother would be gone in about a week from her business trip and I was thinking of how I'd welcome her home. My mother never really liked surprises, I'd probably just cook her favorite things for her and just spend some quality time with her.

After I finished cleaning downstairs up I went to my room and begin straightening up.

I noticed a black book on the floor by my bed. Out of curiosity I picked it up. I sat on the bed and opened up to the first page.

'Countless times... I've wondered what it's like to be normal.
What if I wasn't a disappointment?
I could smile.
I could love.
I could laugh.
I could cry.
But I'm not normal.'