Lost Souls

Chaper 14

                                                                                         Fawns 

          The game was done and everyone was heading out, I always dreaded leaving church.
" hey amb we are hanging out tomorrow right? You, me, Linds and Claire" I asked,
" yeah come over to my house" she said, she's been so off little off, I couldn't get any signs of anything going on for her to be so standoffish. I am probably overthinking Sometimes when she's tired she can gets a little weird, so that's probably the case.
Once amber and Lindsay left I walked down the hallway to find Lucas. I walked past the first bathroom and into the little chapel that we call children's church, that's usually where we meet up before I leave every time we see each other. " hey" I said taking a seat next to him on the old carpet stage. " hey" he said softly as he put his arm around me, " well I just wanted to tell you I was leaving" I said. He looked me in the eyes and smiled widely, he looked like he was in a trance of joy. " I love you Fawn" his words hit my heart like shards of glass. This feeling wasn't the uneasy kind, it was fulfilling. My feelings were all coming to the surface, it was this pure love that I couldn't control. I was so in love with Lucas Grier, it was not easy to deny it.
" I love you too" I gave him a quick kiss before I got up and left him there in the quiet, still chapel for him to think and soak in the moment of love we just shared together. A huge smile spread across my face, I couldn't get the feeling of his lips on mine out of my head. It was all just like a train that never stopped, it all going by so fast.

As I was about to walk out the door I found the pale girl who had just joined our church.
" hey, do you need a ride?" I questioned her,
" no, lance is taking me, he's just downstairs talking to one of your leaders" she smiled lightly.      " oh okay, well did you have fun tonight", " yeah, it was nice" she responded then looked back out the window.
I had two choices here, I could go home and just leave her or I could take a seat and try to make some more conversation. Of course I decided to take a seat on the old wooden chair and attempt to make a conversation.
" so how do you like it here?", she gave me a plain look and shrugged " it's different from the huge city I was in,  this town, it's very small", I laughed and nodded " Church Hill  is very small, everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everything". Venus turned to me, her kind eyes burned a hole into mine.
" so you and that Lucas guys are close friends huh?", I hesitated to answer, my heart was pounding. It wanted to jump out of my chest and just scream. I tried to steady my beats but i couldn't control it, she can't know about us! She just got here, is it that noticeable?
" uh yeah" I took a breath letting my eyes wander to the ground.
" oh, well it sure seems like there's something more", " no! What?! We are just friends nothing more, why would you think that?" I spat at her. She was taken back quite a bit as my voice grew louder. " it's just the way you look at each other, it's not everyday you see such a love in two peoples eyes". I just shook my head and took a breath standing up, how can she see that? It's not obvious, is it?
" well there's nothing, you just came here, everyone looks at each other in a caring way" I said much softer now.
" if you say so" she was more cocky, her attitude started to spark through. She didn't buy my lies, she could read a lie automatically. She must of been lied to a whole lot to know that every word I was saying was a complete lie to cover up my own fear. " well I gotta go, see ya around, Venus" I hurried my way out of that little, old church as fast as I could and to my car that now was fixed.

I was trying to ignore what had just happened, I didn't wanna think of the risks if anyone else knew. I wasn't ready for it, I didn't want to be ready for it. So I turned up the radio to its max trying to drown the thoughts cluttering my mind. As I drove home I noticed how quiet the little town was, it seemed as I was the only person on the road. Every light was green and there wasn't a person in sight, Church Hill was sleeping. The people in it must have been hiding, hiding from some truth they didn't wanna hear, hiding from someone else, hiding from their kids or maybe, even hiding from themselves. Every person in this town had their own story, and if no one was out tonight then you know they all had to be dealing with something they've been sitting on for a long time.

Finally I got home, My grandparents were asleep, so I tip toed through the house hoping I wouldn't wake a soul, but of course the dog had to wake from my steps and started barking.
" Dakota stop!" I growled at him as I reached my hand about quarter of the way down to pet him. " hey Fawn" my grandpa said coming down the stairs, " hey I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you" I pleaded. " no you didn't I was just lying awake waiting for you to come home so I knew you were okay" he said as he pulled me into his arms.
I loved my grandpa, more then anything in the world. Him and I were so close, I could tell him anything and I know he wouldn't judge me. He'd just be there to hold me and to advise me in whatever storm I was in. He was the father I never had and I will cherish every moment I have with him. " I love you papa" I whispered as I held onto him so tightly, " I love you too, now go get some rest" he kissed my head and sent me off to bed. " wait papa is my mom home?" I whispered as I reached the first step.
" no honey you know she's working" I took a deep breath and nodded walking up to my room. My mother was always at work, she never really had time for a family, I get she's a nurse and she's trying to save lives and make money so she can finally get by on her own and help me with college but I miss her sometimes.

As I got into my room whose walls were filled with secerts, I instantly fell on my bed trying to let sleep take over, but of course my thoughts stopped that. So I decided I should change into some comfy clothes. I threw off my shirt and pants and pulled on a Raggy old blue shirt and some old sports shorts that I have no use for anymore. Maybe the new comfort will give my mind a sense of relaxation. Of course, there was no hope for that.
The only thing lingering in my mind was Lucas and Venus's last words.
" if you say so."