Lost Souls

Chapter 18

                                                                                          Fawn

            " so are you going to tell me what's wrong with you or am I gonna have to try and guess?" Scott said with an eye roll at the end,
" nothing is wrong, just focus on the road so we can get home". My Brother was always trying to get something out of me, and I know he wouldn't understand so I didn't really feel like telling him.
" Fawn I know you are lying, I'm just trying to help you",
" Scott it's nothing really, all my friends are acting weird" I spat at him.
" including Lucas?" He questioned. Lucas's name always felt like a knife to the chest, it was like a overwhelming feeling that I couldn't control. Now it was ten times as worse, my heart felt like it was gonna explode.
" yes, and I'm just worried",
" it's probably nothing Fawn, no need to worry" my brother smiled softly, he was probably right. I always prepare for the Monstrous truth of something. It's easier that way, If I'm prepared than it'll sting way less but I'm not so sure how bad this could be. In his eyes I'm just over reacting which could be the case, though it really doesn't feel like it.

Once we got home I hurried in so I could change quickly and grab a few bucks then head up to the smoothie shop to meet the girls.
I threw on a light purple short sleeve shirt and a pair of old ripped jeans, I took one more glance in the mirror before I left.
" going to get a smoothie" I said as I was walking down the stairs, of course my brother didn't hear me so I called out louder till I heard his voice.
I jumped in my car and sped over to the smoothie shop in the old little town where memories filled my mine, again my anxiety began to knock on my stomach creating butterflies. I just wanted to know why everyone was being so weird. I wanted to know what was going on, it was driving me absolutely insane!

" hey" I said walking into the shop, Lindsay, amber and Claire we there waiting for my arrival.  "hey!" Lindsay and Claire said. I went to buy my smoothie, as I waited I took a seat next to amber. She still seemed off, I tried to open up to her telling her how I've been stressed out and just all over the place. All I got was a nod, she just sat there staring at her phone pretending to hear the words that fell off my lips.
" okay what is up with you?" I said softly,
" ummm nothing, just thinking",
" about what!" I said more demanding,
" just stuff!" She said with a growl then went up to grab her smoothie.
I obviously wasn't getting anywhere by pushing the topic, so I decided to just leave it alone till she was ready to tell me. I didn't wanna argue with her.
" world history is so annoying!" Claire whined.
Lindsay nodded her head in a agreement, we all just talked and talked like normal teenage girls did. About school, food, hair and boys.
" how's the love life amber?" Claire asked,
She just ignored it and shrugged.

Amber has been sucked into her phone this whole time, my head was begging me to check what she was doing, I leaned over enough to see a name on the screen.
" Lucas?" I whispered to myself, why is she texting Lucas? What is going on?! My heart began to race and tears started to well in my eyes.
And that's when my phone rang, the contact that popped up on my phone read out Venus.
" hi, Fawn, I have to tell you something" her voice was shaky, I knew she was nervous.
" okay tell me",
" you aren't going to the movies this weekend are you?"
" no, why?"
" I saw a text on ambers phone this morning from Lucas, they are gonna go, but Fawn, he put a heart and I know flirting when I see it. Even when I'm snooping through people's text, I think that's why she hasn't been able to face you or anyone for that matter. I am so, so sorry, do you need me to com-" before she could finish I slowly set my phone down so utterly lost.
My heart dropped to my stomach, I was frozen in my spot, my best friend and my boyfriend? Yeah there is no friendly heart! This isn't real, how can it be real? Lucas and I are forever. No she couldn't do that.         " amber, your going to the movies with Lucas?" I questioned.
" umm no" her eyes had this burning fear within them. I saw how completely nervous she was, I knew she was lying.
" your lying, don't lie to me",
" Fawn it's nothing, we are going as friends"
There isn't anything that hurts more in the world then someone lying directly to your face.
" friends don't put hearts amber!" I yelled.
Lindsay and Claire were looking at us so lost in what was going on, once every few minutes Claire would try to ask but my words just interrupted hers.
Text, Venus: Fawn there's more, I saw Lucas, he admitted to it, please answer
" don't you lie to me! Don't you talk to me!" I yelled running out of the shop to my car.

I turned off my phone and sped off in a complete sadness that no one could explain, I felt as though my heart was ripped from my chest and thrown into the water to drown and die. So betrayed and powerless. I was lied to, 2 years and this is what he does?! The salty tears streamed down my face, the panic was coming on, my stomach twisted and turned all over the place. I just wanted to get home and lay in my bed and pretend this day didn't happen. Nothings going to get better, the fire that's burning me from the inside out isn't done yet, I still haven't talked to Lucas or seen his horrid, disgusting face. My life became a mess in a matter of 15 seconds, I felt like I was dying in the matter of 10 seconds. I was completely crushed in 5 seconds.

I pulled in my driveway, the tears stained my cheeks. My eyes were extremely swollen and red, there was no hiding this sadness from anyone. Do I just own it? Or do I make some other story that's less painful? Consemplating  between my two options of course as I walk in I find my Brother waiting on the couch for me.
" what the hell you can't answer you p-" his words were cut off just by looking at me, he tried to share my pain with his eyes. He knew this wasn't a game.
" hey hey what's going on" he started to come closer to me, that's when I just broke down. I fell to my knees and laid my head into my hands, one by one tears made a little puddle in my hand. Every memory flashed back into my mind. The time I thought his parents caught us and we just ignored them all day, the time that we played tag all through the church, the times he said I love you forever and always. How could this all be a lie? How could this all be a game to him? How could he do this to me with my best friend?
I let my storm out, thunder and lighting, everything came roaring out of my little body.
Scott wrapped his strong arms around me rocking me trying to calm me. " shhhh shhh, I got you it's okay" he said stroking my hair. I laid there in his arms, feeling lifeless just crying and screaming his name.

I never thought that two people I loved could ruin me in a couple seconds, but I was wrong.
The love I had for Lucas was so dangerous. The consequences finally caught up to me, I felt like nothing and I felt nothing.