dangerous love // myg

이십 삼

170620 - honeymoon's over; part iii
20:39

I waited for my mother to have left for work before going to see Yoongi. 
Anxiously, I pressed the 'penthouse' button on the elevator's panel; then standing nervously & alone in the enclosed space. 

I was scared to see him again;
It seems like a long while since we last spoke, will he even want to speak to me after all the times I rejected him ?
Would he even want to take me back ? 
He must feel like a toy after I rejected him and then suddenly wanting him again.
I don't deserve his forgiveness.

Suddenly, the doors of the elevator finally opened. I exited the enclosed space and peeked around to see if there was any security guards. Once the coast was clear, I walked cautiously towards up the staircase and entered the door which read "Restricted". 

I then pulled out my phone and started a new message :

「　To : 윤기 오빠~ ♡

　meet me on the rooftop right n|　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　」

I didn't finish my message though because I heard a familiar voice call out to me.

"Babygirl, what are you doing here ?" The voice said drunkenly.

I looked up from my phone to see Yoongi standing on the edge of the building, staring at me in confusion.

"I-I was about to tell you to meet me here, I needed to talk to you." I replied anxiously.

He jumped down from the platform he was standing on and walked towards me; then raising an eyebrow at me, wondering what it was that I needed to say.

"You were right. I should've believed you when you said it was Jessica's fault. I'm so sorry, Yoongi. I don't deserve your forgiveness bu­­–" I rambled, but was interrupted by Yoongi's lips crashing into mine. Fuck, I missed this.

Our lips moved passionately together. The way we kissed now was different from how we did before, because this time I wasn't angry with him. 
His lips had a strong taste of alcohol; he must've been drinking a lot since we got home from the trip. He must've been hurting so much.
He then broke our kiss and immediately pulled me into a tight hug.

"How come you believe me now ?" He asked curiously.

"Mina was at the mall and heard Jessica and her friends talking about how they planned to do this to us, so she recorded them talking about it & showed me. I should've believed you though." I explained, pulling away from our embrace.

"It's okay. As long as we're together & you know that it was her fault, then it's okay."
"Come on, I wanna stay here with you for now." He added, taking my hand and leading me to the ledge where we usually sat.

We then sat beside each other on the edge of the building. He took his ARMY  jacket off of him and placed it over my shoulders since it was chilly out tonight. I rested my head on his shoulder and looked out onto the city. 

Yoongi then grabbed my hand and held it tight. I looked down at where we were connected, but realized something was different.

"Oppa ? "

"Yeah, babygirl ?"

"What are these ?" I asked, pointing to the red marks and blisters on his arm.

"I– uh– it's a long story." He stuttered.

"Can you tell me about it ?"

"I–I've been doing that for a long time now, since I moved to Seoul. I stopped awhile ago, but it wasn't 'til recently that I started again. I have voices inside me and my parents kicking me out made the voices worse. The voices told me that I was a monster to my parents, that I was useless to them because my dream didn't fit what they wanted for me, and that I'm not even loved me since they wanted me out. That, and other things going on in my life made me so emotionally hurt; so I felt like I needed to cope with it somehow. So this is what I do." He said calmly, not looking at me once. 'So that's why he's always playing with a lighter." I thought.

"Yoongi I– .." I was teary-eyed and became speechless. I had no idea that was what was going on. Because I couldn't speak, I simply released our connected hands and wrapped my arms around his torso tightly. 

"Bangtan found out I was doing that and made me promise to stop. I only did it now because I was holding in my feelings during the trip and had to release the pain somehow."

"Oppa, if you ever feel like you need to do it again, please tell me. I don't want you hurting yourself either. I'll help you through it."

"Thanks babygirl." He said, leaving a small kiss on the top of my head.

"Oh, Oppa ..  Earlier when I talked with Mina, she told me about you guys .. how you used to date."

"Oh. I'm sorry for not telling you. I didn't feel ready enough before. What did she say about it ?"

"She said that you were dangerous; that you were always angry & violent, and that you cheated on her with Jessica .."

"Again, it was Jessica who forced herself onto me; and yeah, that's the monster side I was telling you about. I never want you to see it. Mina left me because of it, I don't want you to too .."

"I'm not afraid of your 'monster side'"

"You will be when you see it."

"We'll see about that."

—

23:17

After a couple of hours on the rooftop; we decided to head downstairs, back to his apartment. We continued our night as we usually would; me changing into his oversized t-shirt & us getting ready for bed. 

I stood in front of the bed, waiting for Yoongi to come out of the bathroom. Once he did, he grabbed me by my waist and began to kiss me sweetly; then pushing me onto the bed and getting on top of me. He broke our kiss and began kissing all over my face saying "I missed you" between each kiss. I giggled at his playfulness.

"I missed you too" I laughed.

We then buried ourselves in the warm covers and turned off the bedside lamp, filling the room with darkness.

"Babygirl ?"

"Yes, Oppa ?"

"I love you."

I was taken aback at his words. Agust D, the so called 'dangerous' man had opened up to me; but I was happy nonetheless. 

"I love you too, Yoongi."

—

The end.

—

a/n :

ha jkjk its not the end yet dw. I still have a couple things planned for this.

btw sorryyy for not updating these past couple days again,, i got sick and just couldnt. I might not be able to update again for the next few days bc its my birthday on thursday and on friday & saturday im busy,, but I'll see !!

also,,, this chapter is kinda trash and rly angsty & cheesy yikes. hope u enjoyed tho :-))

~ jazunyan