The Class Reject: A Martyr in Maelstrom (Book III)

21

Miren was in the business of ruining lives. Which was why she was standing at Jeno's door, ready to end what they had started...or start what they had ended. Clenching her fists, she shook her head. She didn't know anymore.

She didn't know anything anymore.

"I should just go back," she mumbled, glaring at the dark wood door. Just suck it up and deal with your shitty feelings. After all, everything couldn't be that bad, right? At least she knew the truth. The shame that came from lying about being dead couldn't possibly measure to the shame that came from believing you were responsible for someone being dead.

Right?

Still, she was at a stalemate. Wallace was still asking her if she had made a choice, if she had made up with Jeno, if she had stopped being such a hard-ass...She was running out of time to settle things on her own terms.

"Miles?" Never mind, she was out of time.

She didn't bother turning around; she just shifted from the door, allowing Jeno to approach it, her. It was late, part twelve or one, she didn't know. Just like she didn't know what to say.

"Is everything okay?" he asked her, his eyes more compassionate than she had remembered. Had it really been that long since she looked at him? His mouth parted but no words came out. They just looked at each other for a while until they heard laughing from the other side of the hallway. Jeno unlocked the door, motioning for her to enter. "Let's talk in here. You don't have to stay long or anything."

Her feet found movement and she followed, her throat still dry. Eyes landed on her empty bed, and in this instance it actually looked homely. She swallowed hard, but she didn't feel any better.

"Miren." Jeno folded his arms. "What's wrong?"

Other than everything?

She continued to look at him in contempt. Fortunately, for him, it was mostly self-directed. "Parker told me that he put flowers on my grave today," she finally said, breaking her stare from him. "And I...don't know what to do anymore. Wallace said I should decide, but I've messed up everything. You were right...I'm stuck in this. And fighting it just made it all worse."

"Hey," he said, stepping closer to her. "How many times have I told you that none of this is your fault? You know that. We can't see the future—no one could have foreseen how this would all go down."

"It's going down all right." She closed her eyes, breathing in the subdued air. "But I can't go back. Everyone will only hate me more."

"If anyone hates you for what you did, then they don't know you as well as they think they do." He rubbed her shoulder and her eyes reopened. "But I was wrong to try to make the decision for you."

"But what do you think I should do?" Her gaze was tired and desperate against his. He pressed his lips together in contemplation.

"I think you should leave that dark attic and stay here." He said after a while, sitting on his bed, a lazy yawn escaping him as he pointed to her bed. "At least for tonight."

She frowned, turning to the window. "You know, there are two types of people in the world: those that find it hard to hang on, and those that find it hard to let go." She shook her head. "We're not compatible, Jeno."

"I'm not saying we are," he almost scoffed. Wasn't she the one who dragged herself over here for no apparent reason? She was a lady of logic, and there was little sense in provoking him. "But you're tired and you obviously didn't want to be alone. So stop pushing me away."