Lesson.

-27-

Y/N's POV

Its been a whole week since the incident. A whole week since the last time I saw her, Im missing a lot of school. Im missing her...a lot. But I hate her.

I really fucking hate her. She made me believe that she was in love with me, I knew it was too good to be true.

But i've found out that Lacey likes to have a little fun with me, its nothing serious. Just fun. Keeps my mind busy.

----

I kissed her neck, sucking on it slightly, nipping it with my teeth making her gasp.

"Mmm y/n we're late for English" Lacey moaned slightly. I chuckled against her skin and slipped my hands up her shirt.

"So? Missing one class isn't that bad" I smirked.

"I don't like missing any of my classes" she smirked, removing my hands from her waist. She narrowed her eyes as she kissed me a few times.

"You smell of weed. You need to be careful" she smiled.

"Its ok, i've not got any on me. I smoked my last joint" I smirked. She raised her brows.

"And you didn't even share it with me?" She gasped playfully.

"I thought you were a good girl?"

"I can be bad" she chuckled, pulling me out of the janitors cupboard.

"Come on, lets go to English" she whispered, pulling me down the corridor.

I don't wanna go to English. I don't think I can physically walk into that classroom and face her. As soon as we got to the door, I stopped.

"You ok?" She asked.

"Uh...yeah, i've got an appointment, I totally forgot" I lied. Lacey nodded her head.

"Oh ok...see you later then?" She whispered, opening the door slightly. I nodded and watched her walk inside.

I just can't do it. I can't.

----

I sat in my bedroom, thinking of Camila. I love her so much...this has completely fucked me up.

I hope she's happy. She used me. She never loved me.

I still haven't read her letter. In fact, I crumpled it into a ball and threw it across my bedroom when I received it.

Maybe I should just...read it?

It can't possibly make me feel any worse.

I stared at the paper ball as I walked towards it. I can't believe I'm putting myself through this.

Slowly, I pulled it back to its original size, then unfolded it, revealing her neat writing.

'Y/n,

I figured there is no possible way to explain myself to you other than this. So here it is...
You are my whole entire world. I know you don't believe me right now, but you've got to believe that I love you ever so much. I've never loved anyone before...so I guess you can say you're my first love. Please imagine yourself in the position I was in, members of your family sat there staring at me as Eden proposed, every single person in that restaurant was watching, waiting to see me say yes. I couldn't possibly say no and not have a reason for it! I couldn't tell everybody that I was actually in love with you and not him. Please take some time to think it through, please give me another chance and please let me know if you're ok.

I know it's a long shot, but please call me or something? I miss your voice already.

Love, Camila.'

I finished reading the letter with a tear streaming down my face. She hurt me so bad...but I've got to put myself in her position.

I'd probably be just like her. I'd probably do the same thing.

But she promised she wouldn't say yes. And she did. That's what hurts the most.

She's engaged to my brother.

I can't bring myself to forgive her.

----

I can't stop thinking about her, I can't stop drinking. Im drinking to cure the pain. But I'm so angry, nothing seems to help these days.

Almost two weeks since the last time I saw her and I can't take it anymore.

I just need to tell her how I feel in the angriest way possible. I need to get my anger out.

I don't know why I did it, but my phone was ringing and I was waiting on her picking up.

"Y/n?" She breathed out sadly. I frowned but broke down at the sound of her voice.

"Y/n? Are you there? Are you ok?" She sniffled.

I frowned hard. "Am I ok?" I asked bitterly.

"Did you seriously just fucking ask me that question?" I added. She sighed.

"Have you been drinking? where are you?" She asked.

"Yes...I'm outside your apartment. I don't know why...but I am"

"Ok...ok, i'll be out in a second" she spoke, i shook my head.

"I don't wanna see you"

"Why are you outside my apartment then?" She asked.

"I don't fucking know" I cried, dropping my head down.

She hung up and knocked on my car window. It was raining pretty heavily outside and she was standing in it. Oh well, who cares? She deserves a year long fever.

"Y/n please open your window or something?" She mumbled. I did as she said.

"Come inside, please"

"No"

"Y/n-"

"I said no" I spoke without looking at her.

She stayed silent for a while. "Look, you're drunk and I'm just trying to help you"

I shook my head. "Help me?"

"I don't like seeing you like this" she breathed out.

"You made me like this, you bitch!" I yelled at her, angrily punching the steering wheel. She flinched and opened my door. She got on her knees and literally begged for me to come into her apartment.

The alcohol was in control, not me. I don't even know why I'm here, but I caved in.

She ran her hand through her wet hair and smiled at me sadly. Why am I doing this to myself?

"Why are you driving when you're drunk?" She asked.

"Are you stupid or something?" I fired back at her. I scoffed bitterly as I shook my head.

"You broke my fucking heart, Camila! Drinking makes it less painful, I can't stop thinking of you and the way you lied to me! I can't take it" I cried, my knees giving in. I fell to the ground and cried hard, harder than i've ever cried before.

She hushed me and quickly raced to my side, rubbing my back as she pulled me into her chest. I hate her, I really really hate her for what she did to me.

But I need this comfort from her because I love her and I can't deal with this heartbreak. Her touch cures me, she saves me but kills me at the same time. How is it possible for a human being to do that?

"I'll fix this" she whispered. "I'll fix it for you. For us"

She can say it as many times as she wants, nothing can change the fact that she is engaged to Eden until she ends it with him.

She's never gonna do that. I should've known better in the first place.