Dark Paradise (Camren)

Russian Roulette (48)

NOTE: For a better reading, listen to the song "Russian Roulette" by Rihanna on repeat from the beginning of the chapter :)

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POV Camila Cabello

It was by far the best sex of my life, the way Lauren touched me, the intensity with which our bodies moved, the ease with which my skin shivered, and all that scared me, I was scared of never feeling that again. Lying on that stretcher, covered by a stranger's blood, feeling my head spin and my body begging for hers incessantly, I realized that there was no way out of this tragic event. I loved Lauren, there were no doubts at all, that was the only certainty in my life.

I looked at the brunette, I looked deep into her eyes, and looked for some remnant of humanity in her, and the worst of it all was that I found it. Her eyes full of doubts, two teary greenish orbs bathed in desperation. There, in front of me, was the same old Lauren, the same sweet and kind Lauren. How was it possible? Why the hell did I see her as human? She had done atrocities to people that even God's doubtful about. Was my heart then camouflaging the truth? I stayed there for so long, wondering, that I hadn't even realized that Lauren was no longer there. Something inside me calmed me down, told me not to fear her, she wouldn't hurt me, would she?

My skin, bathed in blood, was sticky and burning, and I begged inwardly for a warm bath. It was even comical to want a bath amid a situation like this, but I wanted a bath; but what I really wanted, more than a hot bath, was a...

"Cigarette?" Lauren offered, like someone offering milk to a hungry baby.

I sat up on the stretcher and grabbed the cigarette from her hand. I took a deep drag as Lauren sat down next to me. Between us was the polaroid photo that Lauren had taken of me. I looked at it and a bad feeling went through my body.

"Yes!" I broke the silence.

"Yes what?" She asked, taking a drag on the cigarette without looking at me.

"I admire you, I worship you." I said, and felt the tip of my tongue burn because I was admitting something so out of the ordinary. "And no... I never knew it was you, because I was in love with you, Lauren." I paused, to then proceed. "And love makes us blind."

"I love you too, Camila." She said, and then we stayed in silence for long minutes.

"So what now?" I asked, fearing her answer.

Lauren could be as crazy as she was, but she wasn't a coward, she wouldn't run away. Lauren was the type of woman who was sentenced to hang and still invited her family and friends to watch the event. She'd die with her courage, she'd give me her head on a silver platter if she thought that that would make her brave. Well, not Lauren, but the Maniac Polaroid.

"You're the one who has to tell me that." Lauren said.

"I don't know what the right procedure for this is, but..." I let the sentence die.

"But?"

"I guess I have to thank you for Brow, right?" I said, feeling my throat tightening. "Was that some kind of proof of love?"

"No exactly, I just combined business with pleasure." She said.

"I see..." I whispered, and lowered my head, thinking about what I should do.

"I'm sorry for ruining everything." She whispered.

"Do you have a shower somewhere? I need-" I didn't need to finish the sentence, Lauren just pointed to the left corner of the warehouse.