Never Belonged

Chapter 40: Getting Back to Normal

Astrid

The feelings people get towards people change over time from the actions on what the other one takes. It happened to me and now they've come back so have my feelings. It's like a switch, except this switch moves by itself as if it knows between what's right and wrong. But then why doesn't my heart tell me the same thing. I watch him across the corner of my eye even though I know that I shouldn't look upon him. I can't control what I feel but I can produce it in many ways. I wish my feelings could choose one or the other, but they can't make up their mind, which is why my eyes flicker.

I just wonder if he feels the same way that I do.

Everything is starting to get back to normal, like it should do. There's been no trace of red head anywhere which in a way is good. The normality feels strange though because nothing in our lives is normal. There has always been a problem, Alvin, Dagur, Ryker, Viggo...then love. I was walking down to the beach, kicked my shoes off and stood in the water. This was the only place I ever went to clear my head of anything. I imagined just telling the water all my disasters and the water would then wash them away. It was a nice feeling.

"You come here too?" I turned to the side and noticed Hiccup just sauntered down onto the beach. "Yes...didn't know this was your thinking place as well, I'll go find a new one," I told him but he stopped me "I'm not saying you need to leave, it hasn't got my name written all over the sand," he said sarcastically and I mumbled "Well maybe it should." Luckily he didn't hear me and he just sat down in the sand...so did I. "How have you been?" He asked with an edge of nervousness to his voice "Fine thanks," I sounded abrupt to him. I didn't even mean to be I just can't help it nowadays.

"Astrid listen-," but I stopped him "No Hiccup you listen, I don't need to hear your apology speech all over again, I get it, you're sorry about everything that happened and that I need to understand that it wasn't really you who did all that but then at the same time it was, I don't need it, I've had enough of talking about it," I stood up and started walking about from him. "Fine you wanna be like that with me fine. I get it as well Astrid, but you have no idea what's it's like for me either, all I could remember was your letters coming to me after I sent you one it kept me going."

I spun around back at him and glared "And then they stopped, the letters completely stopped I never got one back from you, I was worried sick I was being rude to everyone my whole life completely shut down and it was all because of you!" he flung his arms up in the air "That wasn't my fault, my life got so caught up in a complete mess. Once that mess was over I couldn't wait to come back and see everyone again, I couldn't wait to come back to see you because I love you and that never changed-." He stopped talking as I pressed my lips against his and his arms caressed around my body. I collapsed against him and he held me against him.

We pulled apart and looked down into each other. Those emerald eyes pierced onto mine, his shaky hair falling against him face as he pushed my fridge away out of my face. "I take it I'm forgiven..." he wondered "I guess you are," I told him as he we leant back into each other.