chapter 23

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As soon as the rest of the household had called it a night and headed to bed, Doniya had taken it upon herself to take the empty buckets of popcorn to the kitchen and tidy up a bit. As she emptied the seeds into the bin, Zayn slowly walked in and leaned against the counter.

"So, what's up?" She asked casually. Over the years she learned not to be forceful with Zayn no matter how worried he made her for if she did, he would just end up pushing her - and others - further and further away.

"... I met someone. Someone else in London." He clarified.

Doniya discarded the buckets in the sink and stood opposite Zayn. It explained a lot, considering how uncomfortable and uninterested Zayn looked around his girlfriend. It was almost painful to watch them.

"When are you going to tell her?"

"... Don... I like a guy." Zayn almost whispered for he didn't know if by 'her' Doniya was talking about GiGi or this new person he had just told her about. His eyes stayed glued to the cream coloured tiles, scared to see what his sister's reaction would be.

"Oh," Her pitch was much higher than a few minutes ago, surprise evident in her voice.

"His name is Harry." Zayn had decided to for once just get everything out there and show his true emotions. "I really like him. He's really nice and funny and, shit, he's so smart too... He's helped me so much." Zayn said the last bit, finally looking into her eyes and she knew what he meant. Harry had helped him with his disorder.

"Does Harry know about GiGi?" Doniya asked and rested her palms on the small round table behind her.

"He's met her. We all went out for drinks and stuff.. I'd just thought I'd experiment a bit because..."

"Zayn. It's okay you know? I won't judge."

"I've had these feelings so, I thought getting them out would get rid of them but...just made it more prominent really." He sighs. The more Zayn spoke, the more weight he felt come off his shoulders.

"How long have the feelings been there?"

He laughed and shook his head. "For as long as I can remember. I just didn't want to acknowledge them 'cause I thought it was wrong you know? Remember Ryan from school? Had a huge crush on him and hid it away... Then all the bullying and shit happened.. And then when girls started paying attention to me... GiGi especially, you know how every guy wanted her? So, I don't know I just became the image I thought I was supposed to portray because...it was normal."

"Zayn," Doniya inched forward a bit. "You are normal. Just the way you are now, you're normal. There's nothing wrong with loving someone who's the same sex as you."

"I know.. I'm still just scared though.. I wasn't the nicest person to Harry."

"... Am I the first person you've told - besides Harry, obviously?"

"Yea... Liam and I haven't spoken that much...I don't know. I'll speak to him later on. I just don't want to be excluded." It was one of Zayn's biggest fears. To feel how he felt when he was growing up. To be avoided, made fun of.

"Harry's not excluded?"

"No. Of course not...but it's not the same. Harry's just... You want to be around him. He just has this thing about him that draws you in."

"You're overthinking things, Zee... One thing I do know that is wrong though..."

Zayn furrowed his brows.

"Is that you're cheating."

"I know." His face relaxed again. "I know. I just need to figure out how to end things and then I will."

"Don't let it stew. The girl already thinks you guys are going to end up being married with three kids."

"What?" Zayn laughed loudly and immediately regretted it, in case of drawing unwanted attention on this little discussion he was having.

"She's completely gone for you Zayn. Like head over heels."

"Christ."

"What did you expect with how long you guys have been... together?"

"I don't know, Don. I was basically using her so I don't fucking know what I expected." Zayn snapped slightly but was quick to collect himself.

"Listen...just talk to Harry more about this .. How serious are you guys?"

"I like him a lot. Like I want to give dating him a shot. See," He fished for his phone to show Doniya a picture of Harry. "This is him."

"Wow. He got a brother?"

"Sister." Zayn laughed.

"Damn. Well, yea, I think the best thing would be to speak to GiGi tomorrow."

"This is going to end so badly."

"It won't, Zayn. Just be positive. There's no one else but you who knows how to handle this matter and I'm there right by your side if you need anything, okay?" She reached out to rub his arm and he surprised her by pulling her into a hug.

"Thank you."

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