World So Cold

Introduction

I look into the mirror in my room, door locked, and stared into the reflection’s eyes. They looked blank to me, light grey and cold, and dark. I looked at my body, looked at all the scars on my arms, my chest, some on my face. I looked away and sat down, stuck headphones on and listened to music on full blast. I listened to the music’s lyrics very closley as if they were my friends, my family.

“Livin in a world so cold, wastin away, livin in a show with no soul, since youve gone away, since youve gone away from me.”

I opened my phone and stared at messages from a contact that was named ‘Love’.

“We are over I am not handling you anymore people have been telling me things I am starting to believe. Leave me alone forever and delete me from your phone.”

A wave of emotion fell over me. Staring into space, I turned off my phone and tried not to cry. He was the first boyfriend I have ever had, and he was the best. But I knew it was going to happen eventually. I knew the rumors would take over. Why would I cry about this?

I lied down on my bed and curled up into a ball. I keep on listening to the music, trying my best to get over it. I had no friends to text anyway, I have never had any friends for long. Ive always been lonely, but for some reason I felt really lonely.

“Do you ever feel me, do you ever look deep down inside, starin at yourself, paralyzed.”

I got up and stared into the mirror as a tear fell down my face. I was never made to have friends, I was never made to have a relationship with anyone.

I opened a drawer and dug into some clothes, and grabbed a dagger like knife. I opened the cover, and stared at the shining sharp blade. Lowered it down to my lower wrist, and slashed it over my skin. Blood started to stream down fast, and I let it pour down my hand. It felt good to me, as if I needed to do it after such a long time. But it never killed me, I just felt as if everyone says I deserve it. To die.

With my headphones still on, I listen to a little more.

“I feel alone, I cant come to life, I feel like im frozen in time, livin in a world so cold, wastin away, since you gone away, youve gone away from me.”

I looked back into the mirror. And said outloud,

“Living in a world so cold.”