Attempting.

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I sat in the bedroom on my bed, thinking about last night. Adam was scared. Of me getting hurt. I couldnt imagine him caring about me as much as I do, but he does.

How was I going to fix myself? I need to be able to gain Adam’s trust that I wasnt going to do anything..

But I probably would if none of the guys were there for me.

The voices would come back.

I picked up the razor from the ground, and I noticed the blades already had blood on it. Maybe I did it in my sleep? I just didnt know. Did ADAM do it? Was he that scared?

“Adam!”

Adam runs in scared something happen. He was scared to leave me alone.

“Ashley..”

“Let me see your arms.”

He looks at me like I was crazy. Like I knew something.

“Why?” he continues to look at me.

I show him the razor.

“Adam..”

Adam starts bursting into tears, and I knew he tried to hold them in.

“Why did you do this?”

“If you ever did, I would want to be with you!”

“Im here.”

“Every time you cut yourself or get close, it stresses me out so bad.. I didnt know what to do last night..”

I take his arm and I roll up his sleeve, and there was a huge cut cown the middle of the forearm.

“Oh..”

He starts crying even more.

“Please dont do that again..”

“I promise”

I hug him, and I feel him get more and more relaxed and less tense.

“I need you to promise”

“Somehow I will”

“We can work on it right now”

I let go and look at him.

“Its like and addiction, its going to be very hard for me.”

“Its gonna be hard for me too, I dont wanna see you in pain”

I think about it. But it was worth it, I dont ever want to let Adam down. Not any of the guys.

“Ill try”

He hugs me tightly, and I grab the razor and I throw it away.

“First thing Ill do.”

We both laugh.

I sit back down, and we hold hands as I think.

“I dont know how I could fix me”

Adam squeezed my hand.

“I believe you can do it.”

“What made you suicidal in the first place?”

“Well, it all started out when my parents were really abusive, they didnt really take care of me.”

“Wow, your dad seemed so nice”

“I was adopted”

Adam looked at me.

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