Langst: One Shots

Images.

*Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder!Lance, by popular demand. ((Vomiting involved)).*

Okay so I don't actually like the ending of this story, I didn't know quite how to end it with the limit I had. So hopefully you like it better than I do.
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It was the shaking that started first for Lance, the constant tremble of his fingers.

He would be fine at first, just slight paranoia that would sway in and out of his mindset.

1, 2, 3, 4...

A couple of minutes, once even an hour passed by, and Lance could do that.

But then the trembling would start.
It would start as a twitch in his neck and then he wouldn't be able to sit still.

Following that his hands would start to shake, violent tremors that left Lance barely able to hold things or he would end up sitting on his hands.

He was disgusting.
He couldn't keep it like this.

Lance would excuse himself to the bathroom from wherever he was, no matter where he was.

Disgusting.

He would lock himself in a stall or a bathroom and he would crouch in front of the toilet and let the shaking take over.

Lance would let it all take over.

His mind would become dark and heavy an the thoughts of what resided within him would make him feel sick.

Here's the thing.

Lance played off confidence. He was so attractive, such a flirt, best looking guy this side of the universe.

But when it came to mealtime he knew the exact opposite of that. Hell, he knew it all the time but it especially strengthened around that time.

It's different than some food you don't like and don't want to keep down. This was everything.

The idea that with the food he ate he was just making himself seemingly fatter and more disgusting inside and out that it started to consume him.

Anyone could look at Lance and tell him he wasn't fat. His clothes fit lose enough for that fact and just his shape in general.

Lance wasn't fat. He was perfect weight and if anything he was starting to be on the verge of underweight.

But you couldn't convince him of that.
Not completely of course.

He looks in the mirror and no he doesn't see a fat person, he sees the weight he is losing but that's not the point.

If the skin near his abdomen so much as slightly bunches then there was too much there, right?

It wasn't all about weight and being skinny to the boy though. Of course not, that's never how it is.

Lance was not focused on being model perfect. If he was skinny then maybe the girls he flirts with would like him, right?

Obviously trying to work out like Keith didn't work, but the mullet haired guy was skinny too.

In all honesty Lance didn't have a set reason. Maybe it was the anxiety, which is what he used to tell his therapist.

He would be so anxious that he couldn't feel he could eat. The nauseating feeling he always played off as being too nervous.

What happened was soon Lance found the hunger as a distraction from the anxiety. Something else to focus on.

The boy was terrified of dealing with his insecurities and the anxiety that came with each day that he needed to feel something else.