Langst: One Shots

Safe Places: Second Endings.

You guys have been asking for this for weeks, and my lazy ass finally wrote it.

Enjoy.

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Lance sat atop the monkey bars, staring up at the stars as they twinkled above him in their own magnificent way.

Stars.

How he wished he could be up there, in space, among the stars and shining as bright as them.

Lance had his hood up, shoulders slumped as he admired the lights above him, shining bright.

Brighter than he could ever be.
Better than he could ever be.

Lance was no star.

He wasn't someone people looked at with awe in their eyes, or one to be smiled fondly at.

Lance wasn't someone people would go to great lengths to reach, to see.

He was no star, no matter what he did.
He tried to be a good person, he truly did.

Lance helped his siblings, loved his parents, but it was never enough.

Lance stared up at the stars, some of them unseen because of the way his hood blocked out parts of the sky.

That was it.

That was it.

Lance sniffed as rubbed his nose angrily, wiping at his eyes as they teared up. Anger and frustration started to seep into his bloodstream.

How dare they?

He stomped down the hall and towards his bedroom, hood blocking out anywhere but forward.

Just jeep going forward, it's bound to get better if you just keep going and don't look back.

That was a lie and Lance knew it.
Such a lie, and he was tired of living it.

Living a lie.

He was no pilot.
He was no paladin.

He was nothing, and that was the truth.

"Lance? Lance! Hey, come back we just were worri---" Hunk started behind him, the sounds of multiple footsteps coming after him.

He hated footsteps, his anxiety acted up.
He was mad at them, how could they try to make things better after what they did?

To say they were worried?!

Horrible rage built up inside of him and it led him to stop in his tracks as the team caught up.

Let them say what they wanted to.
He had his own things to say.

Lances shaking hands ripped through his hair, fueled by frustration and he fixed his hood.

He wouldn't take his safe place away,not now when he so desperately needed a place of comfort.

Lance couldn't believe this.

He'd worked his ass off to fix what they had gotten so upset over. Put his time and effort into fixing EVERYTHING.

Lance would have taken a little expression of gratitude; even the slightest, "Good job, Lance."

God forbid even a thank you.

He grit his teeth so hard he heard his teeth groan from the pressure, he heard the voices of his so called comrades behind him.

Questioning what was wrong.
Why was he over reacting?

He saw red , spinning around to face the group. "Just shut up!" He snapped loudly, eyes darkened with fury.

Every member paused, even Keith.

"When I fixed that fucking map, the map that you all chewed my ass out for messing up, I expected you all to at least be SLIGHTLY more appreciative of the fact that I reset the ENTIRE map that I messed up AND did it to make you guys HAPPY!" He shouted, hands shaking in fists at his sides.

"But no~! Lance has to fuck up once again because he can't take care of himself even if it was just to fix what I had previously messed up--- only to waste my time and tears on your selfish asses!"

Lance started to get a little hysterical, tears falling fast. He would never say things like this but it was too pent up and finally letting out.

He just couldn't believe he was once again in the dog house because of this!

Lance shook his head, his bottom lip trembling as his breaths shook. He swallowed around the lump that formed in his throat out of anger and humiliation.

"I-I just wanted to make it right but I can't even do that!" He rubbed his hands into his eyes angrily, sadness starting to erupt.

"I'm sick of trying to do things right for you and always ending up in the wrong!" He shook his head, "I stayed up all night because I cared that you were all mad at me but now..."

No one could speak.
They had never send their friend like this and honestly it had them a little in shock, and of course concern.

Lance laughed, snapping his head up to glare at them darkly. "Now I see you all aren't worth any of my efforts."

The hood fell, his safe place dialing with it and his vulnerability went with it, crashing hard.

"...I-I'm not worth the effort..."

The blue paladin sunk to his knees and immediately several other Paladins came to his side to make sure he was okay.

Lance didn't fight them.
He was too exhausted.

His hood, the safe place, fell away from his head and rested on his back, gone.

He tensed.

Slowly, Lance was able to take in his surroundings again and he felt a hand wiping the tears that fell. Pidge?

He turned as he felt a hand rubbing soothing circles into his back. Hunk?

A firm hand on his shoulder, keeping him upright and steady. Shiro?

A hand on his knee. Keith.
Coran and Allura lingered nearby, wanting help but there was no room.

That was it.
That was why nothing was okay.

His Safe Place blocked out what was important. The ones around him, and it had left them all in a bad spot.

With the hood, he couldn't see that he had Hunk behind him. Hunk always had his back.

With the hood, he couldn't see Shiro and Keith, who may be distant but we're always by his side.

Lance smiled a little, tears falling faster, and the group hug ensued. It was full of apologies and explanations, which all fell on uncaring ears.

It didn't matter, they were all in the wrong, and that happened sometimes but that was okay.

Here's the thing about safe places:

They only last so long.

They feel great in the beginning, and for awhile after that, but in time they become lonely.

They become something one relies on too much, and it can cloud judgement and turn things sour. More so than it had been when the safe place was created.

Safe places shouldn't be alone places.
Being alone isn't always the answer, and hiding problems in a spot won't solve them.

It's a temporary relief, but you have to give the key to someone else at some point. Invite someone, others, in.

Maybe their arms, will be the safe place you needed all along.