I never really thought of getting married but now that I have successfully landed into this mess, why not be happy about it? I know it doesn't feel right still but who wouldn't love all the shopping and attention?
Of course I had no doubt in Allah whatsoever, and whatever He decides for me must be the best. So why not enjoy the wedding atmosphere? And that is exactly what I did.
I went shopping with Mom for my wedding dress and clothes. I finally found out that Ahmed lives somewhere in Europe, I don't remember the place's name though. I think it's somewhere near Switzerland. That's one thing I'm really excited about, I've always dreamt of going to Europe and finally I will Insha' Allah (if Allah wills).
It was a small wedding so not many were invited, just our family and close friends. A party hall in a hotel was booked, the decorators and the caterers had all promised to make everything perfect AND I really hope it will be.
After what happened that day with Christy, I was still a little in doubt but finally I put those thoughts at the back of my mind. I tried to call Christy the next day, but she never picked up her phone since she had already left for Bangalore so I had no option but to .... just play along with the others I guess. Vini tried her best to change my mind but I ignored her completely, I didn't want to disgrace my parents.
Two days later
The wedding day :
There were a million Butterflies in my stomach as I sat in my room all dressed and ready , I had to admit I did look a little pretty. I wait for my mom to come up and take me with her. That's when it hit me, I'm going so far away from my parents. Will I ever be able to feel my mom's hug and my dad's protection again? Will I be able to see them again? I had no idea, we will be off to Europe tomorrow, the flight was late at night. Will everything be okay? How will I live without my parents? Questions continued to race through my mind. I hadn't slept since I offered my Fajr prayer due to my nervousness and I was feeling a little weak now. I practically did not sleep at all last night, I just kept offering Salat and reading Quran. When I finally lay in bed thinking about my wedding day I felt depressed with all negative thoughts so I started doing dhikr (remembring Allah) to chase the thoughts away .
The Nikah(wedding ceremony) went exactly as planned. We had dinner and before I really tried to put my whole heart into it, the wedding was over. I was married ... I can't believe it. ....I am actually a married woman now!
With a lot of tears, farewells, and a whole lot of suitcases I was sent with my groom from the wedding hall. We had to go to Delhi tonight to fly to Europe tomorrow. Mom and Dad said they will be there to see me off tomorrow at the airport and I really really hope they will. I have to see them one last time before going.
It was time for Maghrib prayer (evening prayer) and I was with my husband in the car. I never missed my prayers at any cost but how do I speak to him? I've practically never spoken to a guy casually all my life. I looked at him. He was lost in his own thoughts, his eyes are hard. He was seated as far away from me as possible, I wonder what his problem was? Yep! I needed to ask a simple question and here I am again, lost in my thoughts.
I finally get the courage to ask him to stop at a mosque on the way. I looked up at him and he just raised one eyebrow but did not comment. He went back to his brooding again, at the mosque I went to the women's prayer room, offered my Salat, and made wudu again. I tried as much as I could to constantly stay in the state of wudu. When I went back to the car he was still glued to the same spot, was he not a practicing Muslim? I've always prayed for a pious husband did he just miss his fard (compulsory) salat? I can't, can't, can't believe this!
We checked into a hotel at almost midnight. An hour later I came out of the shower in my pajamas. I was totally freaked out, I was so very nervous , there were no words to describe how I felt now.
With tiny steps I made my way into the room, but when I came out of the washroom I saw my pillow and blanket carelessly thrown on the couch. Ouch! Was that my heart shattering? I turned to face the bed, my husband was already in his pajamas, asleep.
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BEING MUSLIMAH
Spiritual"Being Muslimah" follows Sarah Idris, a strong willed and faithful girl, in her unforeseeable, roller-coaster life. The story centers around an event that takes her life to a new level of unpredictable: marriage to a complete stranger. However, will...
