BEING MUSLIMAH

CHAPTER SEVEN

        

        I really badly wanted to speak to mom and dad but I don't have any means of communication , worst of all they did'nt even properly know which place I was in exactly, ya Allah , I really really want them back , there is no land line in this house and I have no mobile phone, Ahmed did'nt even think I needed to communicate with anyone, or that I needed to eat to stay alive, he simply forgot his responsibilities as a husband .

               I look at the door why not go outside explore a little and buy eatables from a departmental ?  I do have the money mom and dad gave me, I took the envelope containing my money , I don't know why but a thought struck me, I  took a little pouch out of my suitcase and taking a little money I bundled up the rest in the pouch , I stitched it to a ribbon and tied it on my waist inside my long tee shirt , I wore my coat and hijab with a little money in my hand , I really needed to feel the fresh air on my face , from two weeks I've been left alone at home like a prisoner, I quickly walked to the door to open it .... click.... I turned the knob around... the door did'nt budge, I put all my strength to open it but it never budged ,  I never knew that Ahmed locked me inside the house everytime he went out , my heart started feeling hurt again...

            I'm really really hungry , I started rummaging through the kitchen again to find something to eat, in one of the cabinet below I find canned tuna fish, it was long back expired, I opened the can expecting it to stink God knows how old it was the can was full of dust, I wondered how it got there in the first place, it fortunately didnt have any smell, it was expired but I was starving , I silently prayed to Allah to let it be edible,there were no spices or oil or whatsoever things needed to cook in the house, so I just added a little salt n black pepper to it, cooked it on the microwave and saying bismillah I simply dug in  , trust me, when a person starves for two days even expired food tastes like heaven to them. I was far from full but I thanked allah for the food  got out of no where , after this I offered my zohr salat and supplicated to Allah to make my life better, all I did now a days was just pray and read quran and just think about the situation I was in, I kept thinking again n again did I really deserve this situation? could I really handle all of this...? why me? that is when the voice in my head remembered a verse from the holy quran

    "Allah burdens not a soul except (with that within) its capacity ...." (quran 2:286)

           I kept reciting this verse again n again till my frailing body put me to sleep.

 

          Another day passed with no sign of Ahmed, why was he neglecting me like this? what have I done to deserve this treatment from him? I don't know how much longer I could survive on water alone but I could'nt give up on God, I was so frail that I had to go through a lot of difficulty to go to the living room or the kitchen from my room all I did was supplicate for help to my Allah and not give up on him , but trust me it took a whole lot of courage to trust.

            In the evening Ahmed returned with bags, again he did'nt seem to process in what kind of condition I was, all I could hear him grunt was "mom forced me to marry an ill woman"....couldnt this man see that I was starving ? did'nt he see that it is because of his negligience that I lost so much weight, almost close to death  ? I could hear anymore so I told him with as much voice as  I could muster "its becauce of you, there is no food, I'm starving, I could 've died !"

   He does'nt even look at me or is acting like I dont exist , I hear him grunting again "how I wish she would' ve died, I would have been better off without her"

          so this is what he wanted....to get rid of me ? but why?

      He laid the bags he was carrying on the kitchen counter , there was a lot and lot of food .... I became so happy thinking finally he bought something for me to eat, he must care for me atleast a little if he bought all that food.

          but that happiness was short lived , he turned around to me and ordered me to make food for a party of 20 people, burgers etc, he also kept some  drinks in the refridgerator , then he said I want the food to be ready at 8 and walked out of the door again.

          as soon as he left, I sat on the table and ate till no I no longer could , and thanked allah , obviously if it would'nt have been for Allah I would have been starving still, wouldnt I?

there was a lot of food so I kept aside what all would be needed for tonight's dinner , there was a huge amount of groceries still left after that alhumdulillah so I stocked the left over groceries in the cabinet below where no one could see them ,   I kept thanking Allah over and over again for helping me out as I started to prepare for the dinner party, snack party really .

          By six in the evening I had prepared burgers,sandwiches,french fries, smileys and pizzas for a total of twenty, I was seriously exhausted by the end of it , I went to the fridge to take out some chilled water...

           I was so shocked, it was full of beer and alcohol , I thought I'd almost faint at the sight of it , how could he drink alcohol when it wasnt allowed in islam?

           It was time I confront him......but I had no idea what I would get in return.