Sing To Me While I'm Dying

Chapter One

I sit next to my mom as she struggles to breath. Her thinning brown hair was plastered to her face with sweat. I open my mouth to cry out for a nurse, but I can't move, I can't help her. Her mouth opens and closes, she can't breath, she can't speak. She reaches out to touch me, a last comfort in her last moments, but she can't reach me. I can't move, I want so badly to hold her, but I can't, I can't move. My mother looks so hurt, so weak and so dead so very dead looking already. She opens her mouth to say something, but her last words were drowned out by the beeping of the heart monitor. One long never ending beep. In that moment I knew she was lost. She was lost in a place I could never find her.

I gasp sitting upright in my bed. My alarm clock beeping loudly. I have been having those dreams for two weeks. Each time she dies I can't help her. At least it is only in my dreams that she dies. It is only a matter of time, I think morbidly. No, mom is strong, she will make it. I run my hand along my face. I turn off my beeping alarm clock and swing my feet off my bed. I go into the bathroom that is connected to my mother's bedroom that I was sleeping in. I like the small comfort that I get from sleeping in her bed. I splash my face with cold water and look up at the tired grief stricken girl who looked back at me. Her blue eyes look exhausted and sad, her brown hair hang down the side of her face. She was beautiful once, but then life got it's hands on her and squeezed it out of her using it's vise like grip. I turn away from the mirror and walk back down the hallway to my room. I open the door and go through my closet. I pull out worn jeans and a plain white tank top. I used to care about how I looked, I used to look pretty good, but now I realize that it doesn't matter what you look like, eventually you life will end anyway. I walk slowly out of my room. I pass a clock hanging on the wall and see that it says eight thirty. I sigh and start walking down the stairs. I was an hour late for school. I walk slowly to the bus station, the bus wasn't coming for another ten minutes, so I was going to be even later to school.

After the bus pulled up to my school I walked slowly to the entrance. I open the double doors and walk to the office. I open the door and the receptionist looks at me with a look of exasperation. She had graying brown hair and brown eyes. "Your late Vie, it's the third time this week!" she yelled.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I took the late slip she handed to me. I walked out the door and to my third period class. I opened the door and kept my head down. I handed the late slip to my teacher.

"This is the second time you are late to my class this week Vie! Stay after class." he said turning back to the board and continuing the lecture on algebra. I walked to the back on the classroom and sat down in the farthest desk I could sit in. I put my bag next to me on the floor and crumpled in the chair with my head in my hands. I closed my eyes and the teacher's voice was like a lullaby lulling me to sleep...

The bell rang signaling the end of class. I jolted awake and looked around. Everyone was getting up and gathering their things. I picked up my bag and walked to Mr. Morrison's desk.

"You wanted to see me sir?" I said quietly.

"Yes I did, your behavior in my class has been less then satisfactory." he said.

"I'm sorry sir." I whispered.

He sighed, "I know you are Vie, just don't be late again or there will consequences." he said dismissing me.

"Thank you sir." I said walking away. I walked to my next class and sat in the back again. I closed my eyes and let my mind tune out the lesson on a book we were supposed to read. I felt a tear slip down my face. I was replaying my dream in my head over and over.

"Vie?" the teacher said jarring me from my thoughts.

"Can you repeat the question please?" I asked quietly. The teacher sighed.

"I was just asking whether or not you did the worksheet I handed out?" she said raising her eyebrows expecting me not to have done it.

"Yes I did," I opened my binder and pulled out the sheet. I finished it during lunch to keep from thinking too much, bad things tend to happen when I think about what's happening to me and my mother. She checked it and nodded and returned to the lesson. The bell rang and I got up and walked out. I have lunch next period. I thought as I walked into my fifth period class. I sat down and looked up at the board. We had a chemistry test today. This was the one subject I was good in. My mother was a chemist until she was too sick to work. The teacher past out the tests and he smiled at me. I finished the test quickly and handed the test in. I sat back in my seat and zoned out the rest of the period. I was still thinking about the dreams I was having lately.

"Vie?" I heard Mr. Smith ask. I looked up and saw we were the only one's in the class. "The bell rang."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said quickly looking down and gathering my things.

"Vie, if you need to talk, I'm here." he said understandingly.

"Thank you," I said as I walked out. As far as I knew he didn't know that my mother was in the hospital. I shut my locker and walked into the cafeteria. I stopped just outside and looked in. it was full and loud with people talking and laughing loudly. I felt weird just standing there so I turned and walked to the outdoor courtyard where there wasn't anyone out. I soon realized why when I walked outside. It was overcast and cold. It looked like it was going to rain any second. It fit my mood. I sat leaning against a tree and looked up at the sky. I started humming a song that my mother used to sing to me. Then I started singing the words softly. "There's sun shining behind the clouds, there's a smile behind my frown, no matter where I am I'll always be here with you, I'll be there to wipe away your tears ,to chase away your fears, I might feel so far away, but I'll always be with you, cause there's a bright sun shining through your frown so lay down, rest now, rest forever, my dear, my dear lay down, I wipe away your tears, I chase away your fears for now, so lay down, rest forever, rest now my dear, my dear." I finished the song softly wiping away one of my tears that had fallen. I sighed and turned to go to the bathroom to wash my face. I saw a boy in my grade stranding in the doorway looking at me. I gasped and he looked shocked.

"Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to listen, I just heard you singing and..." he stuttered. I stayed silent just looked at the sandy brown haired boy with shocking blue eyes. I started to walk away and he got out of the doorway to let me past. "You sounded really nice by the way." he said softly as I past him. I made no indication that I heard him and just kept walking.

I wrote the song (or poem) myself. This is my first story on wattpad so I hope you like it! Whenever I read the song I always sing it in my head!

-Ally